Your Questions About the Future

By: Susie Davis

I would love for you always to feel happy. But the truth is the things that make us happy change all the time, and the things that we think will make us happy aren’t always the things that are best for us. For example, when I was in high school. I felt sure that I could be happy if I could just weigh a certain amount (which on looking back, was not a healthy weight) or get a certain guy (looking back, not the best choice). I thought I would be happy if I could get some recognition for being popular by getting elected “friendliest” or “most beautiful.” And while some of those things did roll my way when I was in high school, the happy meter in my life didn’t always stay full.

For instance, when I got elected cheerleader (which I begged God for and told him it would make me oh so happy) that didn’t mean that I stayed happy. Cheerleading is fun of course, but it’s not enough to keep a person waking up every day saying, “Oh my gosh! I am the luckiest person alive because I am a cheerleader! I now feel happy and I will continue to be happy all day long!” No, that is a little ditsy and you probably recognize that, but I wonder: When you think of what will make you happy, are you able to distinguish your crazy thought patterns?

It is always hard to think clearly about your own life concerning these things. Try something. Write down ten things that you believe will make you happy on the list below. Start each with “I would be happy if . . .” Now look over the list and honestly assess whether there is any difference from my ditsy cheerleader quote regarding anything on your list. Granted, your list might be more other’s centered. Maybe you wrote down, “I would be happy if my grandma weren’t sick with cancer.” Or maybe, “I would be happy if my parents were back together.” And I gotta give it to you—those types of wishes are much deeper and more thoughtful than making cheerleader or getting a unending credit line at Sephora, but . . . so many of our “happy” requests are about getting out from under the discomfort in our lives and about believing lies.

For example, making cheerleader is often perceived as achieving popularity and acceptance. So that would mean if you make cheerleader, then there is no more discomfort wondering if you’ve arrived on the social scene—right? Wrong. You and I both know plenty of insecure cheerleaders. What about being happy if your grandma’s cancer goes away? Well, it is very rational to believe that would make you (and a lot of other people) happy, but we also need to look into the comfort vs. discomfort issue I mentioned. Honestly, God is not all about our happiness, but he is all about our well-being and sometimes the two can seem very different from a personal point of view.

Here’s what I mean . . . When I was in middle school, I witnessed a murder that I felt crashed and ruined my life. I was not happy about it and wanted God to make all the repercussions of the incident go away. I didn’t want to see the mental pictures, I didn’t want to feel afraid, and I didn’t want to have to forgive the person who did it. If I could have prayed for one important thing to be happy, I would have requested a rewind from God. I would have asked him to take me out of the classroom where the murder took place or, better yet, just erase the murder all together. For many years I felt that would have fixed the problem. But as I got older and dealt with the discomfort in my life and after I got over thinking that I had been treated unfairly because I was there in the room, I started realizing I could have some deep down God happy—peace and joy is what the Bible calls it—in spite of all other circumstances.* That grasp of deep down God happy is what I really needed because there is a truth to be understood about the world’s version of “happy.” It is fleeting. The world’s happy comes and goes, but peace and joy is something that no person or circumstance can take away from you. Your grandma’s cancer can’t take peace and joy away. Your parents’ divorce can’t take peace and joy away.

Romans 15:13 says it this way, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit”.

The secret to a happy life is placing your “happy” in God and God’s hope for your life. When you are able to trust God and believe that he has your best interest in mind, you will experience the deep down God happy. Does that mean you will never experience disappointments? Gut-wrenching hardships? Confusing personal relationships? Serious and stunning situations?
Of course not. We all will have our share of these kinds of issues in life—it’s inevitable. Jesus not only predicted problems in our life, he warned about them.

And our refusal to be realistic about this, hanging on to the world’s idea of happiness, positions us to believe a lie about life. Look at the words of Jesus in John 16:33, “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world”. Jesus the realist. So the truth is there will be unhappy stuff that happens which will bring discomfort into our lives and we can’t control that, but God has promised to care for us in those situations, giving us peace and joy despite any circumstances. So my wish for you and for me is a continuing deep belief in God.

How Will I Know if the Path I Am Taking Is the One God Has for Me or if It’s the Wrong One?

Searching for God’s will in your life is the ongoing struggle for many Christians. Wouldn’t it be great if God gave us a road map so we could make sure and never go wrong? The truth is that he has given us a road map in the Bible though it is likely not as well-defined as we would like it. You won’t flip open the Bible to find who you are supposed to date or marry. You won’t find out specifics on what college you are supposed to attend or what to major in. And you probably already know that you won’t find God’s perfect will for your life about whether or not you should cut bangs! However, God does have ideas about what he desires for your life and mine. For one, John 6:40 says, “For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life". And another piece of God’s will includes 1 Thessalonians 4:3 which says, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified” .We can know with certainty that God’s will for you and me is that we would become Christians and grow in our faith.

Those are givens, so I am thinking that is not exactly what you are wondering about. You are probably wondering about getting off on the wrong path dating the wrong person. Or maybe taking the wrong job. Or signing up for the wrong classes. Maybe there is a choice about whether or not to go to a party or to go on a trip. There are millions of everyday choices and it sounds like you want to make sure to make the right choices where God is concerned. I have to tell you that it says a lot about your heart for thinking that way. I imagine God is proud of you for desiring to please him. He is our Father and just like any good daddy, he is proud of his kids when their heart is in the right place. I hope knowing that makes you feel good. Although there are no one, two, three steps to determining God’s path for your life, there are some basic guidelines to put you on the path to making good decisions.

God gave us his Word to help us in our daily life. He left us with verses from the Bible about loving him and honoring him first and letting the directions for our individual life spill out of our love and devotion. Jeremiah 6:16 says, “So now the Lord‘ says, ‘Stop right where you are! Look for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls’”. This “old, godly way” is found in the pages of the Bible. So the best advice for staying on the right path is staying close to God and his Word. When we actively love God and his Word, then our thinking produces stable, right thinking that the Bible calls wisdom. And when we apply wisdom in our actions and decisions, we stay on the right path.

Romans 12:2 says it like this, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is”

* For more on dealing with painful situations, check out the article, “The Small Answer to the Big Question: Why Do Bad Things Happen?” on page 88 of TeenVirtue Confidential.

To purchase TeenVirtue Confidential, visit http://www.lifewaystores.com/lwstore/product.asp?isbn=0805441921

B&H Publishing Group grants permission to use this excerpt as originally printed in the book Teen Virtue Confidential c. 2007.