PEARLS AND PIGS

By: Vicki Courtney

I am shocked to see some of the comments posted by guys on Christian girls’ pages. While I am disappointed in the guys, I can’t help but wonder why these girls allow the guys to talk inappropriately to them. Are they so desperate for attention that they are willing to settle for the wrong kind of attention? I can’t help but think that some of these girls are even flattered by the comments or they would have removed them from their page. One such Christian girl, who listed the Bible as a favorite book, had numerous sexually inappropriate comments posted on her page. One guy friend jokingly described in graphic detail a sexual act he wanted to perform on her. I know, I know, it’s all in jest. But it’s not funny.

Some guys will test a girl’s limits to see if they will tolerate sexual banter. It’s similar to what happens when a substitute teacher shows up and the class tests the limits to see what they can get away with. If the rules are loose, there’s a good chance that the class will take advantage of the lack of boundaries. On the other hand, if the teacher takes charge from the beginning and gives the class clear expectations for behavior, it is less likely that boundaries will be crossed. In a similar manner, girls who allow guys to speak to them inappropriately have put out a welcome mat for future inappropriate comments.

I used the above girl’s page as an example to talk to my daughter about “boundaries” and where to draw the line when it comes to sexual banter. I suggested that should a guy ever speak to her in an inappropriate manner, she firmly tell him, “Do not talk to me that way ever again.” Should he pursue, I told her immediately to cut off all future communication with him. He is not worth her time.

I know this sounds like harsh advice, but if you take a look at Ephesians 5:4–5, it doesn’t give any wiggle room for sexual banter and cautions God’s people against participating in “obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes” (NLT). It also brought to mind another passage of Scripture where Jesus was preaching to the crowd on a mountainside. It starts in Matthew 5 and ends three chapters later. I know that you are probably not fond of long sermons, but this one is well worth reading in your spare time. In fact, Matthew 7:28 says,

“When Jesus had finished this sermon, the crowds were astonished at his teaching”.

Consider it a sort of pep talk on how to live life and live it to the fullest. He covered everything from loving your enemies (ouch) to not obsessing over what you will wear (double ouch). But tucked away in the passage is this priceless bit of advice:

“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces” (Matthew 7:6).

You don’t have to search long on MySpace and Facebook to find countless examples of insecure Christian girls who are throwing their pearls to pigs. Slopping in the mud with the swine rather than guarding their priceless pearls in a treasure chest. You are worth more than that. Remember that if a guy crosses the line with sexual banter, don’t stick around for the mud bath. Save your pearls for a prince.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

B&H Publishing Group grants permission to use this excerpt as originally printed in the book Teen Virtue Confidential c. 2007.

Click here to purchase TeenVirtue Confidential. http://www.lifewaystores.com/lwstore/product.asp?isbn=0805441921