In our survey we gave girls your age an opportunity to ask guys the one question that’s burning on their hearts. We compiled a list of the most commonly asked questions, and here is only a sampling of responses we received.
First of all, while most of the guys we surveyed are Christian guys, this does not in any way mean that we agree 100 percent with their comments and endorse their answers as acceptable. As you will see, the guys were candidly honest and we wanted to give you a realistic cross section of what the average Christian guy is thinking. That said, we edited very little; and at times you might find that they use a word or make a statement that sounds harsh. However, we did not want to bring you manufactured results or answers that we “prettied up.” Some of their answers are endearing, some are blunt, and at times, some are offensive.
We hope you will be left with a better understanding of the male mind. We also hope that you will see the dangers of stereotyping guys into categories. It is not our desire to participate in the “male-bashing” that we often see in today’s culture that is quick to stereotype guys as insensitive individuals. By printing their honest answers, you will see a large variety of responses. They are not perfect, but neither are we. In the end, you’ll see that much can be learned from their answers.
What are some things about girls that send you running in the opposite direction?
DRAMA, shy, insecure, gossipers, forwardness, too flirty.
— Ryan, 18
Incredibly self-conscious girls who care so much about how they look that they aren’t able to be themselves.
— John, 16
Smoking, drinking, swearing constantly, overly competitive, rude/mean to people, suggestive/immodest clothing, overly dramatic, blows things out of proportion.
— Travis, 16
Dressing inappropriately or pushing the dress code rules, especially at church. For example, I just went on a mission trip and some of the girls were obsessing over rolling up their T-shirt sleeves and pant legs so they wouldn’t get weird tan lines. If you truly want a godly guy, he’s not going to care about your tan lines, and he’s probably not going to be interested unless you put on more clothes.
— Will, 15
A ditz. Guys don’t buy that front. We know girls are smarter than that and the fact that they choose to act stupid or unintelligent is a total turn off.
— Ben, 17
The goose laugh! (Just kidding.) Seriously, the kind of girls that never leave you alone—really pushy girls!
— Landon, 14
Bad attitude. If a girl is real snobby and thinks she’s better than everyone else, it’s really annoying. Also, if she has no manners and acts just like one of the guys.
— Tom, 16
Overly flirtatious, being easy, lack of self-respect, mean to other girls, into drugs and alcohol, aggressive, overly sexual.
— Matt, 18
If they always need to be in the limelight—the ones who talk about themselves all the time.
— Riley, 15
Cussing, drug use, skanky clothing, and a bad attitude.
— Logan, 16
Loud, obnoxious, show off, boastful, and critical of others.
— Jarrod, 18
When they wear so much makeup! They are beautiful no matter what.
— Holden, 15
The way many of them dress can send me running. Loud, boasting, and gossipy nature instead of a gentle and quiet spirit like the Bible talks about.
— Matt, 16
Smoking, bad manners, bad teeth, bad hygiene, not modest, whiney, two-faced, treats grown-ups bad (teachers, parents, etc.).
— Cabe, 14
Acting dumb when they aren’t; talks too much.
— Matthew, 16
When girls are really flashy in a sexual way. I know they’re just trying to get attention and that’s not what I’m looking for.
— Nicholas, 14
B&H Publishing Group grants permission to use this excerpt as originally printed in the book Teen Virtue Confidential c. 2007.
To purchase TeenVirtue Confidential, visit http://www.lifewaystores.com/lwstore/product.asp?isbn=0805441921
Comments (21)
the guys certainly know what they don't want, which is a good thing.
Posted by Jackie | July 9, 2007 2:59 PM
Now I know what to stay away from.
Posted by Ann | August 8, 2007 7:11 PM
cool! I'm glad that some boys prefer quiet girls!! :) Great article!!
Posted by Beth | September 8, 2007 2:22 AM
That's crazy... I thought I knew nothing about guys... reading things like this proves me wrong...
Posted by Hannah | October 14, 2007 2:33 PM
wow!
thats super interesting infact its nice to hear that theres some guys who arent always trying to look down ur shirt?!!!
we should have one of these for the girls!
Posted by =]] | January 27, 2008 3:46 PM
Good to know!! I like that guys are so honest.
Posted by Lindsey | January 28, 2008 2:08 PM
Great Article! My mom just bought me all 3 Teen Virtue Books. They rock. Glad you got this article. It helps me know more 'bout my guy friends!!
Posted by Sarah | February 7, 2008 5:36 PM
wow. all the guys i know are always tryin to look down my shirt. its good to know there are still nice guys out there. =]
Posted by Beth | February 24, 2008 10:29 PM
WOW!~! Great article its nice to read about what guys want in a christian girl and reading what they don't like,I love the teen virtue booksI like how they look like a mag but from a christian prespective!~!thanks again!~!}
Posted by Tiffany | May 29, 2008 9:15 PM
WOW, that was awsome!! I wish guys would just come out and tell us this in real life!! Almost all of my guy friends try to look down my shirt and feel me up and and all. It turned out to be my most loyal and BEST guy friend who kept the peace!!lol
Posted by Anonymous | July 15, 2008 8:32 AM
i think that guys shouldn't say anything about how people's teeth are, some people can't help that their teeth are not perfect like every body else's are...... other than that i love to hear that they know what they don't want.
Posted by sarah | July 29, 2008 7:54 PM
ok so my brothers friend who is 18 likes me and i thought it was fun at first but now i just wish we could be just friends. I don't no what to say or do to turn him off and i don't want to not be myself. But it seems like everything i say he likes me even more than he did the sentence before that one.. please help me.
Posted by amanda | October 1, 2008 8:38 AM
u think this is very cool! i love teen virtue. it is a good thing i am none of these
Posted by autumn | November 28, 2008 6:55 PM
thats a really cool article. i always wanted to know what guys like and dont like. thanks teen virtue!
Posted by Brooke | January 25, 2009 9:01 PM
"Goose Laugh"! Hahaha, I totally do that! This was such a good article, it's nice to know that guys have higher standards than we typically think they do. We seem to assume that guys want a girl who will flirt with them and attract them with skimpy clothes. This was very affirming:)
Posted by Anonymous | February 11, 2009 10:24 PM
I live in Paris and I am sorta pressured to wear the wrong stuff to fit in. I am very happy to know what the "good guys" like. Thanks so much!
Posted by Jane | April 5, 2009 12:02 PM
i like what the one guy said that girls are beautiful no matter what! thats so sweet! =)
Posted by anonymous | May 8, 2009 6:28 PM
WOW!!!!! I am really really REALLY glad that guys care about what is on the inside. And that some guys don't want a girl who is going to show off themselves when they are beautiful on the inside-out! =)My "boyfriend" Nick is Jewish and I am trying to change his heart, so if that doesn't work I would love a boy who loves God above all else.
Posted by Sandyyy | August 18, 2009 11:50 AM
WOW,now i know now wat a guy really wants the guys that are my age not the ones that at my school the SEX obsesed ones.
Posted by ruth 5 | September 28, 2009 9:04 PM
Thank you so much for posting! Sometimes us girls become discouraged because we feel like all guys are looking at and care about are immodestly dressed girls. It's encouraging to know that we can be appreciated for our modesty! I personally will keep on trying to help you keep your minds on God, brothers in Christ! Thank you for having the views that you do.
Posted by Katarina | October 16, 2009 8:39 PM
:(... aw...(frown)... i have horrible teeth... my doctor told my mom to give me flouride by mouth when i was a baby somy teeth grew in yellow and blotchy and ugly and i cant get veneers put on til im 18... :( ... (frown again)
Posted by laurabeth | November 3, 2009 4:38 PM