In our survey we gave girls your age an opportunity to ask guys the one question that’s burning on their hearts. We compiled a list of the most commonly asked questions, and here is only a sampling of responses we received.
First of all, while most of the guys we surveyed are Christian guys, this does not in any way mean that we agree 100 percent with their comments and endorse their answers as acceptable. As you will see, the guys were candidly honest and we wanted to give you a realistic cross section of what the average Christian guy is thinking. That said, we edited very little; and at times you might find that they use a word or make a statement that sounds harsh. However, we did not want to bring you manufactured results or answers that we “prettied up.” Some of their answers are endearing, some are blunt, and at times, some are offensive.
We hope you will be left with a better understanding of the male mind. We also hope that you will see the dangers of stereotyping guys into categories. It is not our desire to participate in the “male-bashing” that we often see in today’s culture that is quick to stereotype guys as insensitive individuals. By printing their honest answers, you will see a large variety of responses. They are not perfect, but neither are we. In the end, you’ll see that much can be learned from their answers.
What do you think when you see a girl dressed inappropriately?
Bless her heart. She must feel like she has to dress that way to get attention. — Ryan, 18
Sometimes I let my guard down and think something
I shouldn’t. I try to glorify Jesus with pure eyes and pure thoughts. — Geoff, 15
They need to respect themselves and everyone else around them by dressing more modestly. — Travis, 16
Do you want my sweatshirt? I really struggle with lust,
so when girls dress inappropriately, it’s really hard on me. Especially, when I’m in a classroom and can’t escape from the temptation. — Jake, 16
I think that the girl is convinced that it’s the only way she can get attention. It makes me think she’s not self-confident and that she’s easy. — Tom, 16
I think she probably doesn’t have the best relationship with God, she probably isn’t that smart, and she needs guys to look at her, which has a whole different set of meanings attached to it. If she’s pretty, it’s hard not to look. I’m not perfect. I try not to linger and let my thoughts progress to lust. — Matt, 18
My heart says, “Look out!” My mind says, “Oh yeah!” — Trevor, 14
My first reaction is, “Wow.” But then the Holy Spirit is like, “Dude, what are you doing?!” These girls are giving way too much of themselves away to the world. — Ben, 17
I think that if they really felt like they were pretty, they wouldn’t have to dress that way. They have no respect for themselves or their parents. — Mario, 14
I think they are desperate. — Alex, 15
I wonder if her parents have any control over her. — Landon, 14
Sex. — Joe, 15
Well, sometimes I want to look, but eventually I realize that they aren’t the kind of girls I want to be with. — Chris, 16
Where are her parents? — Daniel, 16
I think that she doesn’t have good parents and needs attention. — Cabe, 14
B&H Publishing Group grants permission to use this excerpt as originally printed in the book Teen Virtue Confidential c. 2007.
To purchase TeenVirtue Confidential, visit http://www.lifewaystores.com/lwstore/product.asp?isbn=0805441921
Comments (33)
I am sooo glad that some guys think the same way that I do about some girls dressing so provactively. I think it is totally disgusting the way people of the same gender as me dress.
Posted by Julie | May 15, 2007 9:09 PM
lets trash our micro-minis then...:p ha ha kidding. I agree, If your wearing something that makes a guy have to keep reminding himself- 'look at her face...look up at her face' then he's not going to be looking at your face lol
Posted by Celina | May 17, 2007 3:05 AM
I love hearing guys say stuff like this, because it makes me more confident. Somedays I don't feel so pretty, so I push myself to get attention, and it doesn't usually work the way it should. I don't want to give guys unGodly thoughts, but it's hard. Thanks for telling us, guys :)
Posted by Lauryn | May 26, 2007 5:43 PM
I think that when a girl dresses inapproprately she wants attention. And she's not confindent enough to think she's pretty enough, therefore she needs to be told God loves her and she is made in his likeness and she's beautiful no matter they say. THEN SHE MAY FEEL THE NEED TO DRESS more appropriately.
Posted by Semaje | May 27, 2007 12:12 AM
YOU GO MODEST GIRLS! I'm One of the modest ones and I try to get my friends to be modest too. God loves you no matter what you look like, in fact he made you look how you do! He also made guys have the tempations that they do, we girls gotta help them fight it!
Posted by Lilly | June 3, 2007 11:19 PM
Girls in today's world think that dressing in tight revealing clothing is "cool". I don't know about you but anything that is going to be a stumbling block to a brother in Christ I don't want to wear or anything like that.
Posted by Hannah | June 8, 2007 3:10 AM
im so thankful for honest guys like these. sometimes i forget and get caught up in wanting to look "good".
it really does help girls stay strong and dress modestly.
Posted by jacqueline | July 5, 2007 5:11 PM
This is great!!! I never know what Guys think until I read "For Young Women Only" and this just affirms it. Great Book every girl should read by Shaunti Feldham I believe.
Posted by Christy | July 8, 2007 6:01 PM
That's why I feel bad for guys at the mall when I see a Victoria Secret model. If I ever go to the mall with my boyfriend, I'm going to cover his eyes before he even has a change to glance at the huge posters.
GO MODEST GIRLS!
Posted by Hillary | August 15, 2007 5:33 PM
I'm glad there are guys who don't like girls who dress immodestly. I don't like it when girls dress that way either. Plus, I think it is really sweet when a guy says you are perfect the way you are and don't need to dress that way to get his attention.
Posted by Amy | October 2, 2007 9:52 PM
i loved this because its so true!!! it also lets us girls realize that we sould dress modestly for their sake and that guys dont want to look at that stuff.
Posted by Brooke | October 5, 2007 9:13 PM
Please, leave a guy something to think about, some girls dress some ...open?... that i'm not even sure I want my little brother looking in their general direction
Posted by Alex | November 29, 2007 4:17 AM
WE ARE BEAUTIFUL IN GOD'S EYES! and he looks at the heart! Not the outside!
He has a future for our lives, and we should trust Him fully in that and not look to the world and try to do it on our own!
His plans are so much more awesome than ours!!!!
Why make others stumble?
Posted by Adrienne | January 3, 2008 11:03 AM
It's nice to know that there are good, Christian guys out there, and they aren't jerks. I hate it when a guy can't talk to my face.
Posted by Tori | January 6, 2008 10:28 AM
Thanks guys! I have to say I see girls walking around the mall and think "What are you wearing?" I would never want to be a stumbling block to a guy. So thats why I dress modestly!!
Posted by Lindsey | January 28, 2008 2:22 PM
thanks for that wonderful message because there is need for girls to know and understand that they are 'fearful and wonderfully created'Psm 139:14, they don't have to expose themselves before they get noticed. also,Guys are no longer carried away by such dressing again.
Posted by hannah | January 30, 2008 4:22 AM
My youth leader once said - to the girls- imagine what it would be like to walk around all day and to just be 5 degrees away from sinning. If guys adjust their eye sight just five degrees, and then they are lined up from sin... Just thought I would share that! I'm thankful that there are guys out there who are really trying! It can't be easy.
Posted by Anonymous | February 12, 2008 12:11 AM
This is so great. I love knowing that there are others out there who value modesty and understand that the skanky-clothing look is not attractive under ANY circumstances. It's great to see that guys don't all like to be able to see everything. This is one of those things that I think every girl in the world should read.
Posted by Morgan | March 28, 2008 9:46 PM
I love it when guys can share like this what they are thinking about these things! I think its reallllly good.
Posted by Rachel | May 19, 2008 1:22 PM
ah that is what a lot of guys like in a girl . i think modesty is key to getting a good christian guy. All of the guys that wrote in are very cool to say what they believe a girl should do and wear. i think that all of these guys are right. if there was one thing i would do to get a guys attention on how i felt i would just be myself and if a guy likes me it should be for who i am - not for what i wear or what i say or what i do but for whats in the heart that's what really counts. i don't care what these guys look like i think they are all so sweet and i would love to see more about what they think cause i totally agree! keep wrighting in guys!
Posted by emma | June 14, 2008 10:06 AM
Modesty is something I believe should go everywhere with every girl. It tires me, seeing girls showing off their bellies, and guys putting their hands all over them. I mean, what has this world COME TO?!?! At least we know there are Christians who live their beliefs every day, instead of just at Church or Youth Group. Thanks!
~Laura~
Posted by Laura | June 28, 2008 12:33 PM
Wow, it is SO good to hear real guys say stuff like that! I always struggle with being modest and not conforming so to know that guys actually do care more about who you are than how far they can get with you is a big relief and an inspiration, i guess you could call it, to be the person that God wants you to be and not the person that boys or your non-christian friends try to make you into. These guys are so mature and it's really helpful that they've put things like this out there for girls to see, because I know many of my friends who also struggle with worldliness and the need to impress or get the wrong kind of attention. There really are guys that want you for the godly woman you can be and that feels so great to know!
Posted by Ashlyn | July 5, 2008 11:44 AM
I totally agree! Hearing real guys say this will most likely make girls believe what they're saying is true: when we don't dress modestly, we cause our brothers i nChrist to stumble!
Posted by Rebecca | July 27, 2008 8:50 PM
i think this is so great about the guys. I think the hardest thing about modesty is that guys will naturallly give their attention to the immodest girl even for a short amount of time and even though the good guys don't want to see so much they are still focusing on the skin and not on the modest girls. The attention for the modest girls is still very little unless she's stand-out pretty.But I do appreciate stuff like this, its reminds me of what i'm standing for. I wish i know more guys like this =[
Posted by Gina | July 29, 2008 2:19 PM
I am so thankful for these honest guys because it means a lot to a girl to know that its not all beauty that counts but our faith and where we are with God.
Posted by Taylor | September 20, 2008 11:28 PM
I Like To See That Some Guys Actually Care
Posted by ~PeaCe-OuT~ (: | February 1, 2009 3:02 PM
how should i dress if i don't want to dress inapropriately and i still want to be physically attractive???
Posted by Isabel | February 19, 2009 7:12 PM
Well, i think any girl that dresses like that should go to this hing called bod squad.I don't like to show a lot of skin in fact usually in school i where a sweatshirt. When summer comes around and pools open that's when bikini's and swim suits come out and my family made a rule that we cant where a bikini until over 16. I don't mind it i like tan kini's the best anyway so it isn't hard and plus i'm at the pool to cool off and have fun not look cute and be flirty!
Posted by Sarah | May 25, 2009 9:30 AM
I think that what guys have to say about this subject is important, & we girls need to listen. I use to live in a house hold were the only clothing i that i would recive was very revealing. I hated it! The way some guys look at you when your dressed that way... you attomaticly realize what their thinking & it's not pleasent. No one wounts to be thought of that way.
Needless to say I live in a Godly house hold now & I don't have to look or ware revealing clothes any more. Modesty is so important don't put eveything you have out on the "market", anyone can do that.
Posted by God'sgrl | July 9, 2009 8:59 PM
I have a question for guys: What do you think about bikinis? Being 15, pretty much every single girl I know wears a bikini, however I don't think they're very modest and I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job representing my lord while wearing one. Basically I need encouragement to do what the Holy Spirit is telling me to do, because it's going to be very hard to be the only girl in a pool wearing a one-piece.
Posted by Kaitlyn | July 18, 2009 4:45 PM
This is a really good survey...I don't believe in wearing pants and sometimes I get made fun of, but it is a personal conviction I have so therefore I just need to continue doing what I believe God wants. Thank you for this survey it was very encouraging to know that guys would prefer you to dress modestly. To the Kaitlyn right above my comment...don't worry about what others think you should worry about what God thinks before others. I wear a t-shirt and basketball shorts or cullotes for the most part when I swim. Just do what you believe God wants you to do :)
Posted by Kaitlyn | September 9, 2009 7:18 PM
Kaitlyn i have a question and i in no way mean to offend you...but i am curious. Why dont u believe in wearing pants? I know u prob get asked this all the time so if u dont want to answer i understand, but i just wanted 2 know.
Posted by Grace | September 25, 2009 7:08 PM
For all you girls that have more questions on what guys think about modesty, their part, or what they think about certain items of clothing (like bikinis, jeans, low cut shirts) go to www.modestysurvey.com. It's an amazing site that helped me out a lot!
Posted by Kylie | December 4, 2009 10:45 AM