In our survey we gave girls your age an opportunity to ask guys the one question that’s burning on their hearts. We compiled a list of the most commonly asked questions, and here is only a sampling of responses we received.
First of all, while most of the guys we surveyed are Christian guys, this does not in any way mean that we agree 100 percent with their comments and endorse their answers as acceptable. As you will see, the guys were candidly honest and we wanted to give you a realistic cross section of what the average Christian guy is thinking. That said, we edited very little; and at times you might find that they use a word or make a statement that sounds harsh. However, we did not want to bring you manufactured results or answers that we “prettied up.” Some of their answers are endearing, some are blunt, and at times, some are offensive.
We hope you will be left with a better understanding of the male mind. We also hope that you will see the dangers of stereotyping guys into categories. It is not our desire to participate in the “male-bashing” that we often see in today’s culture that is quick to stereotype guys as insensitive individuals. By printing their honest answers, you will see a large variety of responses. They are not perfect, but neither are we. In the end, you’ll see that much can be learned from their answers.
DESCRIBE THE PERFECT GIRL
Beautiful, caring, smart, and she smells nice.
— Josh, 14
Christian, confident, talkative, good cook, amazing video game skills, strange obsession with all the sports teams I like.
— Ryan, 18
Beauty is a bonus. I think Jesus gives Christian guys eyes to see inner beauty. With that said, I would love a girl who has the same interests as I do, follows Christ, is funny, helps those in need and is not stuck on herself.
— Geoff, 15
Christian, smart, not overly needy/high maintenance, active, funny but able to have serious conversations, generally happy, and able to help me through anything.
— Travis, 16
She has to have a great personality. She has to be able to carry on the most intellectual conversations and the absolute dumbest ones, as well. She would have to be in love with sports like me because that’s basically all I think about.
— Jared, 16
For me, I look a lot at 1 Corinthians 13 and Proverbs 31 for qualities that make up the perfect girl. She needs to be living for Jesus and willing to choose Jesus over a guy. She should be open and honest and there needs to be a tad bit of randomness there as well. Dressing modestly is also huge.
— Jake, 16
There has to be physical attraction as well as personality attraction, if that makes sense. She needs to be well-mannered and nice and not dress like a slut.
— Tom, 16
She needs to go to church, read God’s Word, and pray. She needs to have a sense of humor. She needs to be someone I can share my problems with and who will share hers with me.
— Nathan, 14
Understanding, forgiving, tender, loving, and nurturing. Likes to snuggle but won’t tell your guy friends you like to! She understands your need to be macho sometimes. She doesn’t pressure you. Brunette.
— Matt, 18
Nice, somebody you can have fun with but still bring home to Mom. She can cook and is in shape.
— Spencer, 14
A girl who honors God first in all things, including her parents. In love with God first and always. Funny, outgoing, musical, encouraging, and has a heart for people and doing God’s work.
— Ben, 17
She is definitely a Christian. Beautiful, positive attitude, isn’t fake, and loves Christ more than anything.
— Logan, 16
Christian, not too outgoing, sweet, sympathetic, modest, and doesn’t care too much about what others think.
— Jerrod, 18
She boldly seeks after the Lord despite what her peers think of her. She has integrity, honesty, is trustworthy, patient, uncompromising in her beliefs, confident in herself, and
has an outward beauty that is only made complete by the inner qualities above.
— Matt, 16
Long flowing brown hair, curls preferably, lives in Texas, loves God more than she loves me.
— Veston, 15
She is a Christian, smart, pretty good-looking, good personality, virgin, independent, treats her parents good, semi-athletic.
— Cabe, 14
B&H Publishing Group grants permission to use this excerpt as originally printed in the book Teen Virtue Confidential c. 2007.
To purchase TeenVirtue Confidential, visit http://www.lifewaystores.com/lwstore/product.asp?isbn=0805441921
Comments (57)
I really liked this link. I like that most the guys say that she should love God first and most of all. And how they are honest with what they think. And how they think we as girls should and should not dress like.
Posted by Anonymous | May 20, 2007 4:15 PM
I really like reading stuff like this, and I do every chance I get. Even though my boyfriend and I are both Christian, sometimes I catch myself putting him first, or flirting just a little too much, and hearing things like this from other Christian guys makes me realize that I don't want to compromise my relationship by my own insecurity. It's nice to hear when a guy would rather see me dress down and modest than see me strut in a bikini, and would rather see me spend time with God than him. When guys say stuff like that, it does give us confidence...I wonder if they know that.
Posted by Lauryn | May 26, 2007 5:40 PM
This article is helpful for me even though I'm not as old as these boys. It helps me so that I know what to expect guys to think about when they see me and other girls in the future. All of the articles are helpful through out all of the Teen Virtue issues and I'll always remember them!
Posted by Catherine | May 30, 2007 10:12 AM
I have a hard time remembering what is glorifying to God.I'm glad these boys
put God first.I certainly like that kind of boy!Even I'm only 12 and just entering youth,these boys will help me
remember what is important,Jesus!
Posted by anne | June 5, 2007 6:13 PM
I TOTALLY LOVE THIS!!! Ive had a hard time w/ finding the "right" guy. Like one that is a christian and put Christ before everythign else! Probabably because there are NOT many guys like this around here! They are more into the physical stuff instead of a emotional relationship too! I know i need to wait and find a guy that puts Christ especially before me...but also before everything else! Its comforting to know that there are ACTUALLY guys like this out there:)! Thanx to the guys who will actually stand up for their faith:)
Posted by Kirstie | June 13, 2007 9:57 PM
Can we have somemore articles like this???
Posted by :) | July 8, 2007 6:14 PM
I love, absolutely LOVE articles like this, really, they help me know what guys are like, I mean, they are ususally just huge 5,000 piece puzzles that I have not hope of understanding. These also help us how to be a better person I think, or at least, one who people can look up to and like. the only problem is most of them said something about liking the same sport they do. Does that mean it would be worth trying to get in the know about some other sport to help you connect with guys?
Posted by Maria | July 28, 2007 9:53 PM
Its great to know what guys really think. I t makes me want to work on those areas in my life and become a better Christian.
Posted by Anonymous | August 8, 2007 6:59 PM
WOW! I did not even know that teen guys like this ever existed in this world. Me being a pastor's child, my faith walk increasing daily, trying to do right; there are always a guy in my life who just wants one thing basically. And sometimes I am not as strong as I am suppose to be, but strong enough to catch myself before failing the test. For the past 16 years, I truly have a testimony. And I have learned that what I let in my cirlce of influence in the result that I am going to recieve. In order to have the effect I want in the future, I need to change my affect in the present. So this right here, shows me that there is a possiblity that there is a guy out here in the world, ready to treat me like the queen that I am! While I am preparing myself for my King, he is preparing himself for me! It just feels so good to know, that the fact is a fact!
~~Weezy!
Posted by LaToya | August 17, 2007 11:02 AM
oh man you know reading things such as these just makes you feel like your in a fairytale! but when i devote it to my life it don't seem like my prince will ever come!! i want all the boys that have Godly standards to know that it may be hard for you guys as well as it is for us girls to stay pure and take a stand for God! but it is all worth it! but you never know that someone prince/princess could be doing the same as you! I'm praying that i won't fall for any guy that can just talk a good game! but i want a guy that loves God! good looks are great in all but it shouldn't define you!
Posted by Jessica | October 29, 2007 7:21 PM
WOW, I am fifteen, living my life for Christ. I think that it is awesome that there are guys that think modesty and putting Christ first is very cool.
Posted by Jessica | December 19, 2007 7:39 PM
I think this article was pretty sweet!! its great that the guys actually speak their mind.Tell us what they look for in a girl that is really helpful to us. Sometimes i have no idea what a guy is thinking so this really helps. Thanks so much to all those guys that spoke there mind on here. Its nice to know that there are guys out there that love Christ so much they want a girl to love God more than them. That takes alot and i admire that.Thanks again and i really did love the article.
Posted by shannon | December 31, 2007 4:27 PM
It's nice to know that there are actually guys out in this gigantic world that want a girl to dress modestly and not look like a slut because most guys like seeing a lot of skin from a girl...I also like to see what a guy is looking for in a girl because it will help me mold into those traits to become a better person.
Posted by Julie | January 15, 2008 5:53 PM
Thanks guys! Very good to know. I love that a guy looks at your relationship with God first. I love this article!
Posted by Lindsey | January 28, 2008 2:04 PM
Makes me feel hopefull- REAL HOPEFUL. I believe that it takes tons of courage to say things like these in a filthy world like ours. Sometimes i feel like all the good guys have been sold out- but reading this brings hope into my heart that one day my knight in shining armour(the spiritual armour as well) will find me. most girls would use this as a way to get a guy to like them, but it is serious stuff that i think should be taken seriously. I am not perfect but i think we shud just look at it and apply it to our lives, not for now but for when we are ready and need to attract the right kinda' guy. OVERALL- I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Priscilla | March 2, 2008 7:20 AM
I like this because it shows that guys really do like good girls.
I think it is refreshing to hear guys talking about how they are attracted to a girl not because she looks good but also because she loves God.
Posted by LuAnn and Rachel | March 14, 2008 7:26 PM
i really liked this. i think it's so great that there are guys whose descriptions follow along the lines of curvy and sexy- some guys really do value us as Christians and want a girl who will help further them on their walk. I did think it was kind kind of interesting that some specifically said brown hair. ha.
Posted by Anonymous | March 26, 2008 6:51 PM
Can I met Ben 17...?
Posted by Jana | April 4, 2008 9:51 PM
It's really encouraging to get a glimpse of the inside of a guy's heart like this... it helps me to understand them better. Guys can be so confusing!
Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2008 2:54 PM
I love, love, love this!!! Its so good to be able to know what Christian guys want to see a girl. I think its reallllly good! I really appreciate this survey...love it!
Posted by Rachel | May 19, 2008 1:27 PM
I really loved,loved,loved reading what these guys had to say,you don't find guys like this in this trashy world, it makes me feel that there are some guys out there that are christians,and care about modesty and living for christ!~!I'm a young christian girl living for him at 15!~!It did make me laugh though when somebody said brunnet hair,and she has to like the same sport as me ok well whatever LOL,some guys are just never mind!~!~
Posted by Tiffany | May 29, 2008 9:07 PM
This is so helpful, because I 100% percent agree with the answers that these guys gave and it's pretty cool that they really care about who matters the most: Jesus or Boys? I agree that Jesus should always come first in a relationship with any boy, and even though I'm only 13,it really helps me understand guys a little bit better.
Posted by Sami | June 11, 2008 4:22 PM
I love the fact that you can see what a christian guys perspective is on the way a girls like us (christian) should be like. if there was one guy on here that i would chose to date it would be Matt because i am a brunette myself and i would never tell my personal oppinion to any guy exept my boyfriend. And being a christian girl i do have some limitations on the snuggling but as long as it doesn't go to far i'm game. i do have curly hair though. Is that ok?
Posted by emma | June 14, 2008 9:43 AM
I think that the guys who say all of this should never change their minds. They should put most of their attention on God and not look for the girl of their dreams because if they look to hard they might just lose their mind. this is such a good site to have beacause many girls are looking for this kind of uplifting so that they know that someone will come and love them for them.
Posted by Heather | June 15, 2008 8:35 PM
This is a great site, because although I don't have a boyfriend, it helps me think of when I do get a boyfriend (if I do), I know there are guys out there who will respect me because of what I beileve, and that is very encouraging for me to know that there are Christian guys out there who behave like Christians no matter where they are!
Posted by Anonymous | June 25, 2008 9:12 PM
This is SUCH a great site! So uplifting, and encouraging! At my school, you see guys and girls hugging, and even kissing each other! (EEWW!!) It's good for me to know that there is a guy out there waiting for me, a guy who loves Christ with all his heart. I know that I'm not perfect, but maybe, he'll forgive me.
Dear God,
Thank you so much for putting guys out there who actually care for girl's hearts, not just what make-up we wear, or what hairstyle we have. Bless them, God, and tell them how much we care about them too! Amen
Posted by Laura | June 28, 2008 12:24 PM
I love this article. It is interesting to see what guys think. I was a little disappointed to see that a good bit of the guys like girls who have some atheletic ability. Sadly, I am NOT athletic whatsover, but over all I was pleased. This is reassuring!
Posted by Courtney | July 1, 2008 9:59 PM
it's really cool that some guys look for these qualities, i think it's admirable of them to admit to it. But i disagree with the brunette thing. Jk
Posted by Jen | July 11, 2008 2:49 PM
Girls,
I'm an 18 year old guy who is still waiting to find I girl who is like you all. It's awesome to find out that there are still girls who have values other than clothes and boyfriends.
I only have one thing to ask of you: you were honest with your opinions on this website, now PLEASE be honest with the world. I know you think that it's whimpy to talk about God, or to dress modestly, or not be obsessed with guys like all your girlfriends are, but please show off all of the qualities that you explained above. I'm a normal, American guy, and I can honestly tell you: you have NO idea how attractive it is to guys to have a girl who is not obsessed with them. You saw all those athletic comments? Guys love to be challenged, so make us work for you, don't just give yourselves to us.
Sorry if I'm getting boring, but I just had to say something to you all.
Thanks for being beutiful examples of what women should be.
Posted by Joe, 18 | July 19, 2008 2:52 AM
can we meet josh,14???
Posted by courtney and juli | July 30, 2008 11:05 AM
this is good to let me know that guys dont always want to go for the bad girls. but why do they like brunettes? i guess they think that blondes are too conceited because most of them dye their hair but i am naturally blonde and this annoys me.
Posted by caitlin | August 12, 2008 12:01 PM
I want to meet most of these guys!!! =) Haha.
I think that it is beyond awesome that some guys actually want those qualities in girls!!!
I definitely like what 'Joe, 18' posted about not giving ourslves to guys, but giving them a little challenge. And dressing modestly. And being honest.
Glad to hear these guys exist. Now I just have to wait until God gives me one special guy......one day. =)
Posted by BallerinaGirl | August 26, 2008 12:19 PM
this is SOOOOO cool!!!!!!!!
Posted by Anonymous | August 26, 2008 8:22 PM
can i know where i can meet at least one of these guys??
and thanks for reminding us how unique we are and that we shouldn't just go with the world to be accepted.
Posted by sandie | August 28, 2008 8:23 AM
I loved this article!!! I especially liked what "Joe, 18 had to say. Although I'm only 13, i think about my future a lot and being a pastor's daughter, I have a lot if values and am very modest. Its great to know that there are guys out there waiting to find girls like me and others.
Posted by Jenna, 13 | September 2, 2008 11:09 PM
It's so hard to not think obsessively about your future husband or wife, or girlfriend or boyfriend...but we all have to remember to really just put all of our focus on God..To live for today and not worry about tomorrow.He knows the desires of our hearts and if we continually seek after Him his perfect plan for all of us will work its way out the way He has designed it to. It's so comforting knowing that we can put every part of our lives in His hands and trust Him completely..I'll be the first to admit that I struggle with this myself,,sometimes wishing I had a boyfriend and just someone to be close to, but i'm sure we can all challenge eachother to be more patient and trusting in waiting for God to present the right girl or guy we all long for.
It's definitely been amazing to read all of these comments! We're not alone in this world :)
Posted by Ashton,18 | September 19, 2008 1:05 AM
lol... Ben 17 sound like a nice person.. lol... but some of the answeres were very funny... me and my friend couldnt stop laughing... lol
Posted by Leah | October 29, 2008 9:28 AM
I really love the things they said about how they like the girls who love the lord before them and like modest dressers and are independent thinkers and stuff. kinda turned my day around :)
Posted by Cathy | November 4, 2008 3:27 PM
Awww...
I have to say that the first one was my fvorite!
Posted by Caitlyn | November 10, 2008 9:28 PM
The perfect girl is the one God has for me. Thats that. Thats all i want in Her.
Posted by Daniel | December 5, 2008 11:46 PM
This is a really cool. I like to hear what guys say, because then i have an idea of what their thinking and not just girls. I love that they say we should put god first. I also like that they said we should dress modestly. i don't see much of that at my school. Me and my friends are few who dress modestly.
Posted by Anonymous | December 24, 2008 10:05 PM
All I have to say is I love those guys comments...they really do make a girl feel better:)
Posted by Jordan Wood | January 5, 2009 7:07 PM
=D I luv this alot!!I really liked how alot of them mention about how they want someone Godly that speaks alot!!I think though the 14th was my fav,!!
Posted by Tiffany =D | January 27, 2009 10:16 PM
It's really comforting to know that God has our life completely planned out for us. We just have to trust in his plan for our lives. Some of these guys know that they want a quality girl to be the one in their life, and I deeply admire that. We're almost taught to think that guys want us just for our bodies and it awesome to know that that's not the case here. I pray that God will lead in my life (and all of our lives, for that matter)and show me that my plan is not the best one, and that he needs to be the center of my life. I have to be willing to surrender myself to him every day in order for him to be able to do what he wants to do through me. However hard that may be for all of us, its the only way to let Him lead our lives and lead us the the man that he has in store for us. =)God bless all of you.
Posted by Jenna | January 29, 2009 8:42 PM
Oh I love this article it is very educative especially for the ladies and also the guy becuase they are not left alone.
Please this article is so great I thank God that there are ladies and guys who love truth and cheris good things.
It is good to be good and most especially to have JESUS and have a good relationship with Him.
Posted by Felicia | February 4, 2009 4:07 AM
I love articles like this, and because these guys were truthful it was an amazing insight to their brains. And I don't usually stereotype boys into not having emotions, cuz I know they do and this article proved just that. I love this page!
Posted by Jessica | April 7, 2009 8:08 AM
At first I didn't really think guys like this existed. Thanks for the hope.
Posted by Laura | April 15, 2009 2:09 AM
this is really encouraging! I'm happy I found this cause little things like this keep me from slipping away. Isn't it amazing that these are actual guys because this is about the opposite of what u would hear about girls in my school. great survey <3
Posted by Lacey | April 23, 2009 7:14 PM
I love it when guys answer hard questions. But sometimes wee just need to know the answers!
Posted by Rachel, 13 | April 26, 2009 7:09 PM
I really like this passage. Because it shows me that SOME guys are not interested in the stuff that you would think would be different.
Posted by H@!ley | May 4, 2009 5:37 PM
Yes, I like that the question was asked and yes I've been asking this question for a long time. However, I think that the guys who were asked sounds the same, reading the answers was like someone just hit copy-and-paste twenty times. I may not be a guy but I have a lot of friends who are and this ^ is not how they talk lol. I was prepared to read blunt comments that were warned, and really those weren't that blunt. I'm glad that there are some guys who say these things. I want to know what the majority is saying. No i am not a man-hater. I just know too well what they are thinking.
Posted by Mikaela | July 16, 2009 1:12 AM
i think that out of all the GUYS that i read 3 really stood out i kinda kno wat a guy wants but my guy friends think diffrently gitten drunk smokin sex and so on and so forth but i told them id dont do that so they dont talk about in around me its a real eye opener thanx
Posted by ruth 5 | September 30, 2009 8:43 PM
Thank you infinitely for posting this. A verse that has recently given me hope is Psalm 138:8 - The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me. So this article just confirms that there really are guys out there who aren't looking only for girls with outward beauty, low cut clothes and a flirtatious character. So thank you. I am praying for my future husband that he will have the strength to stay pure and stay centered on God! My sincerest prayers for all of the brave guys that answered. And girls, don't give up hope! Your prince charming IS out there!
Posted by Katarina | October 16, 2009 8:35 PM
This is great! It encouraged me to know there are guys still out in the world that don't only want your body!
Posted by Allysa | November 7, 2009 3:14 PM
wow, thank God for guys like these that care about Christian girls.Its encouraging to know that while i am preparing myself to be a virteous woman, God is also preparing Godly guys.
Posted by salem | November 12, 2009 11:50 AM
all u guys are sweet
Posted by Rainalynn | December 8, 2009 4:11 PM
its really amazing how so many guys love God
Posted by annabell | January 27, 2010 9:28 AM