Call me weird, but I like to read the obituaries in the newspaper. My family makes fun of me, but I find it fascinating to read about people who have passed on. It’s pretty humbling when you stop and think that our lives will some day be summed up in a few brief paragraphs in a newspaper. Like one guy I read about whose family member said, “He wanted to live life with no regrets and he did just that.” Hmm . . . that one sentence really got me thinking. Is it really possible to live life without a single regret? I don’t think so. Surely, this guy at some point in his life said an unkind word to someone. I’m pretty sure he lied, cheated, or lusted in his heart. No one is perfect so we know he committed sins. Did he not regret them? Did he not regret when his actions hurt others? Maybe I’m overanalyzing this, but I don’t think I can admire someone who “lives life with no regrets.”
Some of the biggest regrets of my life came during my high school and college years. “If I could go back and do it over again . . .” Have you ever heard someone say that? Probably so. In life, we will make mistakes. Some people will make more than others, but we will all make them. It seems to me that the key is to live life with as few regrets as possible. That means learning from the mistakes we make and moving on.
Philippians 3:13–14 says, “Brothers, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus.”Sounds to me like a good remedy for regrets: forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead.
What about you? What’s your biggest regret?
Having sex before marriage!
— Heather, age 17
That I have anorexia.
—Kristen, age 15
Getting drunk at a party.
— Kirsten, age 13
I have two:
1) Not waiting until marriage.
2) Not getting rid of my ex-boyfriend sooner!
— Amanda, age 18
When I go to church camp, I learn so much, then I come home and I don’t change anything. Basically I just have a camp high.
— Hannah, age 16
Not spending enough “quality time” with people and not having enough heart-to-heart talks with my sis. She’s leaving for college this summer and I’m just starting to realize all the stuff we never did.
— Mary, age 15
My biggest regret is that I haven’t spent enough time with my grandparents who are starting to show their age.
— Becky, age 15
I always judge people. I want to stop, but sometimes words just slip out.
— Hannah, age 12
Being mad at my dad and then he died unexpectedly. I didn’t get to tell him that I loved him.
— Amber, age 14
My biggest regret is probably giving a big piece of my heart emotionally to a guy who amazed me because he was such a godly guy, but who was still pretty immature.
— Julie, age 14
My biggest regret is that I told this guy I dated I loved him, when I really didn’t. I said it because I didn’t want him to feel bad.
—Laurel, age 17
Losing my parents’ trust by lying.
— Becca, age 16
B&H Publishing Group grants permission to use this excerpt as originally printed in the book Teen Virtue Confidential c. 2007.
To purchase TeenVirtue Confidential, visit http://www.lifewaystores.com/lwstore/product.asp?isbn=0805441921
Comments (37)
Opening my heart and mind to unpure thoughts that have led to more.
Posted by Anna , age 18 | August 3, 2007 10:22 PM
wasting my first kiss!
Posted by Mae | August 21, 2007 7:53 PM
My mom got remairied 3 weeks ago. While they were dating i thought if i acted rude and brat-like he would ditch my mom! Now, they are mairied and i care for him, i just feel horrible about the way i treated him! He actually wasn't a bad guy!
Posted by Natalie | September 4, 2007 8:40 PM
I regret not keeping in contact with my friens and not being a very good friend
Posted by Amanda | October 4, 2007 4:00 PM
Looking at bad stuff on the net.
Posted by Anonymous | October 7, 2007 4:23 PM
i regret not being myself around this certain person. now we arent friends and they think that i am weird. i would give almost anything to do it over again.
Posted by Anna | November 13, 2007 8:14 AM
I have a few things that I regret doing:
1)looking at bad stuff on the net =[
2)not contacting two of my best friends (who are sisters) when they live in the appartment complex right next to me! They have been my friends for about three years and I haven't talked to them in so long. Maybe a text here and there but not a full conversation!
3)Having a boyfriend when I'm not aloud to
4)saying I love you to that same boyfriend to early. [I know I'm too young to be saying that!]
5)breaking up but then getting back together with that same boyfriend.
6)kissing him...alot
7)when he wanted more kisses I would do it...I was miserable and I don't know why I kept on ding that.
8)in short...I regret that whole relationship.
That dude, Andrew, still likes me and he calls me sexy, (Which makes me uncomfortable.) he said he wants to get to "3rd base with me"(if you know what I mean!) That makes me very uncomfortable, and stares at me in the wrong places. I don't dress innapropriatly, we wear uniforms at our school! When I go to school I don't want to be stuck with him and most of the time that almost happens. It just makes me very uncomfortable to go to school with him.
Posted by Bree | December 27, 2007 11:09 AM
I regret a guy i dated. He got paid to date me. And I wasted my first kiss on him, plus, my mom doesn't know I kissed him. When she gets excited over my "first kiss" It'll really be my third or fourth!
Posted by Angela | January 5, 2008 5:20 PM
My greatest regret was not listening to my mom when I started liking this one boy.He asked me to be his girlfriend! I hade such a BIG crush on him that how could I resist? On Sat. he took me on my first date!!!!! Two weeks later he broke up with me!! He broke my heart, and now I wish I would have listened to my mom!
Posted by Ariel | February 7, 2008 4:21 PM
two regrets:
1) being a cutter(im not anymore)
2) give my heart to fast to a guy
Posted by Natalie | March 12, 2008 10:20 PM
These three regrets haunt me every day..
-Hanging out with the popular people at school
-Hacking into a girls email.
-lying to my BFF.
Posted by anonymous | April 15, 2008 6:52 PM
My regrets are this:
1. Not staying close with a friend who used to be homeschooled like me (and who's now in public school).
2. Thinking things I SHOULDN'T!
3. Not giving my all-out effort in some things.
4. Swearing in my mind.
Posted by Em | April 24, 2008 6:27 PM
i regret a few thing.
1) swearing in my head, a lot, especially at my parents.
2) not going to church as often as i should.
3)taking my best friend for granted.
4) thinking about EVERYTHING bad about a person to make myself feel better.
5) kissing so many guys.
Posted by Hayley | June 25, 2008 12:40 AM
Wasting my first kiss, and not slapping the guy sooner!
Posted by Laura | June 28, 2008 12:49 PM
This guy asked me out I told him no (ofcourse) but I still let him hug me. Now he calls me sexy and tries to touch me its hard to make him stop and its really uncoftorable being around him.
Posted by Anonymous | July 1, 2008 4:54 PM
Opening my heart and mind to unpure thoughts that have led to more.
watching negative things on the internet
allowing guys to talk me into bed and not realizing the worth i really have inside (giving my pearls to pigs!!!)
not waiting until marraige to have sex
Posted by Alexandra | October 8, 2008 4:07 PM
loosing a friend who after that nearly commited suiside (not because of me) but i wasnt able to be there for her... at least shes still alive but now she might be going to a childrens home, and i cant be there for her... maybe if i still was her friend i could have been a good influence on her... now i can only find out what happened to her through my mom because my mom calls her mom sometimes... i havent spoken to that girl for years now!... =[ i feel really bad...
Posted by Leah | October 29, 2008 12:57 PM
My biggest regret is that I thought every thing leading up to sex was ok.
Posted by lauren | November 17, 2008 11:03 AM
My biggest regret is not waiting for marriage,rationalizing it to myself because I knew he was going to propose (he did two weeks later), and not refusing him now even though we're still not married.
It gets to me sometimes but is a difficult situation because I know he is the one I'm going to marry (as soon as we set a date), we had been together for years, and I really don't want to stop him (although I know he would give it up if I asked him to). We love each other and are both Christians but this is the major thing I know goes against our beliefs. All I can think to do to 'fix' it at this point is to hurry with the preparations so we can be married sooner and make it right in His eyes.
Posted by Marie | December 3, 2008 4:47 PM
i have a friend who is really funny but can make some pretty perverted jokes. i wish i hadn't laughed at her and encouraged her to keep making them.
Posted by Hannah | December 10, 2008 10:59 AM
my regrets are looking at bad things on the internet and having sex w/ someone that i didn't need to be doing it w/.
Posted by somebody | February 8, 2009 9:05 PM
I do not have any regrets as of right now. I'am praying for God to send along the perfect husband. I will not "date" I believe dating is set up for divorce. many girls have been hurt very badly. Dating can lead to sex, sex leading to pregnancy, and then, maybe even lead to abortion, leaving a young woman scardfor life. I plan to save my fist kiss until my wedding day. I pray that God will help me remain pure until my wedding night. I hope this will be an inspiration to every young woman.
Posted by Christina | February 13, 2009 6:12 PM
-I regret that i didn't enjoy my childhood as I should..
-All the times that i didn't laugh when i should...
Posted by Jeimy | February 16, 2009 4:14 PM
i have so many regrets i don't know where to start. hmm... lying to my parents.. secretly swearing at them when i'm mad.. having lust.. impure thoughts..being mad at God (how could i be mad at the person who saved me).. not following the word of God or listening to my heart when i know i should..
Posted by isabel | March 3, 2009 7:22 PM
Not allowing myself to enjoy life for the past year, and stopping myself from having a closer relationship with God. Also, I regret focusing on the wrong things, such as guys and money, and allowing my impure thoughts to conquer my mind.
Posted by Chelsey | May 22, 2009 1:07 PM
I regret not witnesing to my dad. My parents are divorced and he kind of scares me. (no one will really know what that means but me). Anyway, it just crushes me that I never winessed to him.
I also regret obbsessing about my weight when I was normal. I was borderline bulimic. I'm not anymore though.
Posted by Lizzy | June 2, 2009 8:48 PM
I totally regret not befriending people of different backgrounds and diversity because my cruel, judgmental attitudes. I am also heartbroken that there are people who committed suicide and I've always wondered what I could have done to prevent this sad reality.
Let Love Be the Revolution.
Posted by Jane | June 15, 2009 8:53 PM
to lizzy: i know what you mean. and im sorry. my uncle is the same way, i know how hard it is. i'll pray for you
Posted by nicole | June 27, 2009 8:44 PM
i regret the fact that i am considered the school slut and i cant undo that ego now... i wish i had just stayed the quiet, homeschooled Catholic girl i was when i first came to my school. now im a ditz who's main nickname is Barbie who wears innapropriate clothes and constantly argues with my mom over my clothing. i'm insecure if guys jaws dont drop when i walk in a room, if i'm notwearing 20 inches of makeup on my face, if im not in a push up bra, and if my waist isnt tiny. Girls, stay innocent.
Posted by Bailey | July 8, 2009 9:54 AM
A few months ago I met A really great Christian guy and we hit it off the day we met. He exceeded all of my standards for dating and he later admitted that he liked me too.
I had always been opposed to the idea of dating at age fifteen. In fact, I decided I hadn't wanted to date until junior or senior year (I'm about to be a sophomore). I told him this.
In late March, the day before I was leaving for a mission trip to Mexico over spring break, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I prayed about it over spring break and talked to my parents about it, and I said yes. Our relationship never got physical, just a goodbye-side-hug now and then.
Then while we were both on our church choir tour, he started to ignore me during the week. He hung out with other people, didn't talk to me that much, and even hung out more with other girls than he did with me. I told him one night late in the week how I felt, and he said yes, he'd been avoiding me, and that night we broke up. That was almost a month ago, and now he is going after another girl at church, one who happens to be my good friend.
I realize that I don't need a boyfriend to be happy. God gives me value and purpose and true joy because of His unfailing love.
I don't even care that the guy isn't my boyfriend anymore. I don't even know if I like him as a person even. He seems so different. I just feel hurt now that he is going after another girl so soon.
My biggest regret is not sticking with what I had set out with in the first place. If I had just waited, I could have avoided this hurt, and me and the guy could be friends without me housing a dislike for him. I am trying to let him go, and trying to forgive him and forget him now, and it's hard.
Posted by Bailey | July 12, 2009 12:28 PM
arent we not supposed to regeret anything??
i know im a sinner
probably worse but each sins i commits always ended as a lesson to me and not to commit it next time..
anyways if i did have a regret and can change it, it would be:
stop thinking of bad stuff
like how i can kill certain someone
not saying "i love you"
enough to people i truly care
not being friendly enough
not answering letters from childhood friends..bleh i lose the chance
not reading books
so yeahhh...
Posted by celine | August 14, 2009 2:24 AM
Lying to my friends.
Loving other things more than God sometimes
Being shy about my faith
Being judgemental
Not talking to my mom about something that im doing that i rly think is hurting me....
Trying to appear perfect
Actually, i am known for being "the good girl" or "innocent" i stay out of trouble, am pure, never cuss, i dont get perverted jokes....seriously i dont and if i do i get them 5 seconds later than every1 else, and i try and try and reflect an image that God would like....but sometimes i feel like a liar because people see me as being nice and good but really sometimes i'm truly bad inside....
Posted by Grace | September 25, 2009 6:41 PM
i have two biggest regrets.
1) not trying harder to be close to my mom when i was little, now its hard to tell her anything about my life.
2)my best friend and i moved to different schools last year. shortly after she left i got in a huge fight with her and told her cousin that she flashed this guy on webcam (it's true that she did it, and she definately shouldnt have - she's the kind of girl who likes the wrong kind of attention from guys). she was really a nice girl. she'd had a very hard life and some very bad influences. i was so jealous that every guy i ever liked thought she was so hot and none ever liked me, i just let all my anger out at once and spilled all her secrets. she hasnt spoken to me since. i regret that so much coz i just had this huge burst of anger and lost my best friend forever! </3
Posted by anonymous | October 4, 2009 4:32 AM
My biggest regrets are:
1)having a VERY DIRTY MOUTH!!!
2)having a boyfriend and never telling my mom or dad.
Posted by ruth 5 | October 17, 2009 9:44 PM
Having sexual thoughts
Swearing
Letting myself fall away from God
Hurting my mamas feelings
Ive never dated or kissed or had sex or drank or anything considered "SEUPER BAD" but God says that your thoughts are just as sinful as your actions and as hard as I try I cant get any better....I pray and pray and I am starting to get on track and I hope God will help me through this dark place in good time..His time
Posted by kjl | January 5, 2010 6:00 PM
i regret not being closer to God
and spending to much time worrying about guys
Posted by annabell | January 27, 2010 9:22 AM
i regret smoking just to prove that i'm not afraid to
Posted by anonymous | February 3, 2010 11:54 PM