http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/ en Copyright 2010 Fri, 01 Jan 2010 15:52:41 -0600 http://www.sixapart.com/movabletype/ http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss I feel like I say the same thing over and over to you guys but it's important so I'm going to say it again and hope you don't have to learn this the hard way like I did. In Isaiah 43:7 God tells us that all who are called by His Name (who belong to Him) have been created for His glory...not for each other. We've bought into this Hollywood idea that there's someone out there who was created just for us, that we were made for each other, but it's not true biblically and when we believe it we put all our hopes and dreams on finding that one person. Then before you know it your heart belongs to the dream of someone instead of to the One who loves you so much He died for you. But there's a lot of room for disappointment and heartache in that belief. Like what if you search and search but never find that person? Or what if you marry someone you thought was "the one" but then he turns out to be a mess or a jerk or just an ordinary guy who doesn't live up to your expectations? As a good friend of mine recently said "God never intended for our happiness to depend on someone so fickle as another person". God might have marriage in your future, and if so He already knows who you'll marry, but He never meant for you to look to a person to make you whole, only Jesus can do that. So when you say you're wanting to know if you've found "the one" I want to know what you mean by that. Do you mean the one who will "complete you" (nobody out there can do that) or do you mean the one you think you might want to marry someday? If you've met someone you think is special and that you might end up married to them there are a few things you can do to help you walk through the relationship in a healthy way. First remember that your heart is "deceitful above all things and beyond cure" (Jeremiah 17:9) so you can't trust your feelings to navigate this but you can trust God to guide you in the path He has for you. That means you're going to have to pursue Him more than you pursue your relationship with this guy. Over and over in the Bible God tells us to seek Him and live, to pursue Him above all things, to love Him most and let Him take care of the rest. It also says that He is jealous for our affections because He's more deserving of our hearts than anyone or anything else. He's the true love we're all so desperately looking for and He's the only one who has our best interest at heart. He's also the only one who knows your future so if you're wanting to know if this guy is worth getting to know better or spending time with, only God can walk you through that. Talk to Him everyday about everything. Jesus is the one person it's safe to be completely open and honest with so go for it. Open up to Him about this guy and your hopes and dreams and ask Him to open your eyes and ears so you can see and hear Him louder than the world around you and your own heart. Read your Bible in order to learn more about this incredible God who adores you instead of reading it because it's on your list of "Christian" things to do. Pursue Jesus like your heart tells you to pursue this guy and see where He takes you. Second, get someone involved who knows you and loves you and will be honest with you about this guy and the relationship. If you have a friend who loves Jesus and can speak biblical truth to you, they can help you keep your head on straight when your emotions and/or hormones want to take over. That's what we're here for - the church is supposed to be one big family that looks out for each other as we help each other stay faithful to Jesus and follow Him. Above all things remember what God says in Amos 5:4 - "Seek Me and LIVE!!" Nobody else can make that promise and follow through on it. http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2010/01/i_have_met_a_guy_who_i_think_h.html http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2010/01/i_have_met_a_guy_who_i_think_h.html Guys Fri, 01 Jan 2010 15:52:41 -0600 1 Corinthians 13 you realize that very few of us really love people the way God hopes we will. True love is more selfless and looks out for the good of the other person instead of getting caught up in all the emotion and becoming obsessed with them because of how they make us feel. That's why stories like Twilight and Romeo & Juliet can be so dangerous. What those characters have isn't love, it's an obsessive, destructive infatuation with another person where the desire for that person is uncontrollable and harmful to both parties. And yes, I do believe it's possible for people of all ages to find themselves trapped in something like that. They key is to be able to distinguish real love from other emotions that pretend to be love. If there's an element of desperation in your relationship with someone or if you're lost and want to die without them, what you have is a dark shadow of what God intended, and it will probably lead to a lot of pain in one or both of your lives. Love, on the other hand, isn't grasping or desperate, and looks out for the other person instead of trying to consume them. It also leaves us free to be ourselves and love God wholeheartedly. To sum up, I don't believe that anybody really falls in love like in fairy tales, but it is possible for someone who is 13 or 14 to truly care about another person and want what is best for them, and that is the true foundation of a loving relationship. I have several friends who ended up marrying someone they had known since junior high or even grade school, and one reason their marriages have worked out so well is that they had a true friendship to base something more romantic on later in life. I would also caution you that it is possible for anyone, whether they're 13 or 31, to fall head over heals into a dangerous relationship, based on hormones and emotions, that leaves them worse off when it's over than they ever were before. Only Jesus is worth obsessing over and there are places in our hearts where only He belongs. Be careful not to fall for the world's version of love - it will leave you broken and hopeless. Here are two very key pieces of advice when it comes to love and relationships, straight from God Himself. First - "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." (Proverbs 4:23) and second "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." (Song of Solomon 2:7) - which means don't go throwing yourself at boys because you think they'll make everything better. You're worth more than that, start believing it and trust God with the rest.]]> http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/12/is_it_possible_2_fall_in_love_1.html http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/12/is_it_possible_2_fall_in_love_1.html Guys Tue, 01 Dec 2009 08:00:00 -0600 "What is your view on baptism? I have been baptized as a baby, but I feel like that wasn't me making the decision. My parents are strict Methodists and they think that if I get baptized again then it would be disrespectful or.....just not good and against their beliefs. I've tried to get them to listen and realize that I'm serious about this and that it isnt just some teenage rebillion or whim and that i've thought about this for a long time, but that gets them even more upset. Then there is the other half of my family that is baptist and they act like i might go to hell if i'm not baptized or that i havent done something right, that doesnt seem right to me either. I talked to my youth minister about it and she told me a little bit about what her church believes. However, my parents disagree with a lot of things my youth minister says purely because she is non-denominational, and i rarely get to go to youth group and see her.My youth minister said i might have to wait until i leave my parents house to do this, but i want some information about it too so i can know that im making this decision becuase of what i believe...not my parents denomination. I don't want to cause a family uproar if i do decide to get baptized, but i need to do whats right for ME for a change...and right now that means getting as unbiased information as i can. So please please PLZ could you give some bible verses or advice or something to help me. Thank you" This is a very touchy topic with a lot of people and some churches are even willing to die on this hill so you're not alone in your battle but you're definitely in a tough spot. I want to congratulate you on where you are right now, on working this out and coming to a place of obedience and owning your faith instead of relying on what others tell you. The hard part will be following Jesus as He leads you when your parents disagree with where He's taking you. You need to honor your parents but live to please God and not people. Here's what I believe about baptism from my own study of it. Biblically, there's no support for infant baptisms. I think people want to believe that they can do something to save their kids when they're little so they have them baptized and believe that it will somehow cover them for life. You can't force a baptism on someone else because it's the heart behind the act that gives it meaning, and for the baby who's baptized it's just another bath or rain shower (depending on how it's done). Biblically, baptism is a public statement that you're leaving your old sinful life behind and starting fresh and clean because of what Jesus did for you. It signifies dying to who you used to be and becoming a new person by the Spirit of God and it's not a decision someone else can make for you no matter what age you are. In the church today there are an awful lot of rules made by man that have twisted themselves around the truth, but in reality they aren't that important to God. This is why we have so many different denominations of what is supposed to be one unified church, and I think that's what you're battling with your parents. They have learned that your baptism as a baby was something special and that you'll be dishonoring them and/or the church by doing it again on your own. The real problem with that thinking is that we're not supposed to live to please people or our church because they tend to get a lot of things wrong, we're supposed to live to please God Himself. If you can have a respectful conversation with your parents, explaining why you want to be baptized and maybe ask them to show you biblically why they think it's wrong, then go ahead and see if they'll engage you that way. Maybe you'll all learn something new. I also don't believe that baptism is a deal breaker although some people will tell you it is. What I mean is that you can know Jesus, love Jesus, and be saved without being baptized. This is where the story of the thief on the cross is so enlightening (I can't tell you how thankful I am for that story). Here's a man who has only a few hours left to live and has not lived well up to this point, but in the last moments he sees Jesus for who He really is and puts his faith in Him, and it's enough. Jesus doesn't say "Well if we could get down from here I could baptize you and you would be in, but since we're both stuck up here you're doomed." Instead He says "Today you will be with me in paradise" because it's knowing Jesus that saves us, not what we do because we THINK we know Him. If we're saved by what we do then we're saved by works and not by faith and that goes against everything Jesus taught and makes His death unnecessary. Having said that, I do think that being baptized is important or it wouldn't be a command and Jesus wouldn't have done it Himself, even though He never sinned and didn't have a life of sin to leave behind. For Him it seems to have marked the point in His life where He went from being Jesus the Carpenter to Jesus the Teacher, the Discipler of Men, and the Ultimate Sacrifice. So if I'm trying to follow Jesus, why not follow Him in this too? Why not say out loud to the world that I'm a new person and my life is forever changed because of what Jesus did for me? In the New Testament it was expected that those who believed would be baptized because it was a sign of their belief, but it wasn't the baptism that saved them, it was the belief. If the Lord is urging you to be baptized then follow His leading, but talk with your parents and be willing to humbly walk through the Bible with them in order to figure this out. God's expectation of us with our parents is that we always be respectful and loving toward them even when we disagree. Keep in mind that even Jesus did things that His parents disagreed with (like disappearing when He was 12 and freaking the whole family out) because His heart was set on God but don't let the devil ruin your relationship with your folks. Remember that God works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28) - so He can bring something good out of this frustrating situation. Just trust Him and walk where He leads you and never be afraid to shout to the world that you follow a God who saves. Hope that helps! I'll be praying for you. ]]> http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/11/what_is_your_view_on_baptism.html http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/11/what_is_your_view_on_baptism.html Spiritual Growth Sun, 01 Nov 2009 23:02:31 -0600 "where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." So we do a little personal inventory, which we should be doing regularly to make sure we're on the right path instead of wandering like idiots all over the place. I'm prone to wander...and sometimes to idiocy. To figure out what you treasure most, ask yourself what you think about the most. What do you spend most of your time, energy and money on? What do you get most excited about and talk with others most about? When we love someone or something we can't help talking about them or it. Do you find yourself thinking and talking about God more than anything else or do you forget Him for most of the day and go about your business? That should narrow it down to what you really treasure and from there you just have to make a decision. If Jesus isn't your treasure, do you want Him to be? Because if you really want to love Him most He can help you get there, all you have to do is ask and keep asking. Be persistent. He loves persistence and a heart that wants to know Him. And the great news is that He can see what's really happening in your soul, way under all the crud, so don't get depressed because you're not where you think you should be, and don't compare yourself to others. Just get really really honest with Him and ask Him to guide you out of the crud and into the clear where you can see Him. ]]> http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/10/how_do_i_know_when_i_love_god.html http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/10/how_do_i_know_when_i_love_god.html Spiritual Growth Thu, 01 Oct 2009 08:00:00 -0600 Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'" Basically Jesus is talking to people who call themselves Christians but never really know and follow Him. They never put into practice what He calls us all to, which, contrary to popular belief, isn't joining the youth group, being in a Bible study and sitting in judgment on the rest of the world. What He really asks of us is that we love Him the most, trust Him with our lives and follow Him. You might need to really think that one through because what He's asking you to do is give up your rights to yourself and the life you think you want or deserve, and choose whatever He has planned instead. It's much easier to give ourselves the title "Christian" and then live however we please but I don't see anywhere in the Bible where living like that means we're saved. We can't say we follow Jesus but pick and choose what we want to believe or obey. As a matter of fact, how you live shows what you really believe regardless of what you say. I think you're asking this question because deep in your heart you want to be real. You want to really love Jesus and not just play the game that so many of us are playing or have played in the past. You can show what it's really about just by really doing it. Start with a soul check and see if you really believe what you say you believe. Several years ago when my mom was diagnosed with a fatal disease God asked me if I loved Him enough to trust Him with what was happening and my answer was honestly "no way". That was the first time I realized I didn't really believe what I said I did. That I didn't really love the God who asked me to love Him more than I loved my mom. It was also the beginning of a real intimate relationship with Him and the end of just playing church. Once you find out what you really believe, move toward Jesus and as you move closer to Him your life should show the people around you what it really looks like to be a Christian. Talk to Him as much as possible and be really honest. Really dig for what He has to say about Himself in the Bible. You don't have the ability to change anyone but yourself, so get honest with God and hand Him your whole life and watch what the Holy Spirit can do. I am reminded often that on my own I can do nothing, but if I lose myself in Jesus my whole life can become this incredible picture of Him to the world because He shines much much brighter than I ever could.]]> http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/09/i_see_so_many_christians_at_my_1.html http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/09/i_see_so_many_christians_at_my_1.html Life Tue, 01 Sep 2009 08:00:00 -0600 "I'm really into marval comic books characters. And recently I've been thinking of these characters that are perfect for marval but not 2 good for God. I like these characters and I like drawing them but I want to do whats right in God's sight. I'm caught between what I like and whats right, what can I do?" I think there will always be the pull to use our gifts and talents for the wrong reasons because we're sinners by nature, and the draw towards darkness is pretty strong (the devil is a pro at making the dark seem very appealing). God created art and dance and music and singing and acting - and everything He created was meant to point people to Him. The reason for all of it is to make Him famous and shine a spotlight on Him. I think that things generally go wrong for one of two reasons. Either we're more interested in our own fame and glory than in His so we use our talents to shine the light on ourselves, or we're so drawn by the dark side of our gifts that we let ourselves get pulled away from God and we let the devil use those gifts for his own purposes. Both situations end up destroying us in the end. I was a theater major in college and made a living acting for a little while, and at one point I actually dismissed God because I knew that I was interested in making myself famous and that He wouldn't be on board for that. Worst decision ever...never never never do that. I managed to entrench myself in the gutter completely before I got desperate enough to ask Him to come save me from myself. So from my own experience here's how I would answer your question. If God has given you a talent, He has also provided a way for you to use it for His glory. If you love drawing comic book characters then do it but do it with Jesus in mind. Talk to Him about it and move in the direction He points you. He's the ultimate Superhero you know. Any power anyone has ever thought up, He has already mastered. The greatest story ever told is the story of how God made Himself man in order to save an entire planet by sacrificing Himself for everyone on it. And then, because He's got all the power in the world, He came back from the dead to continue to help us. What this world (and Marvel comics) needs is the return of true heroes and not just glorified monsters. Remember that you have been set apart by God for His purposes and you're supposed to be engaged in the world but not become like the world. Use your gifts with Jesus in mind and create characters that look different but shine brightly in this dark world. Someone might just see your work and meet Jesus there. ]]> http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/08/how_do_i_use_my_talents_for_go_1.html http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/08/how_do_i_use_my_talents_for_go_1.html Life Sat, 01 Aug 2009 13:00:08 -0600 I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and makes war. His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself. - Revelations 19:11-12 Jesus is the original White Knight and He's promised to come and get us out of this mess. And I can't think of anything more exciting than that. ]]> http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/06/lately_i_have_been_hearing_abo.html http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/06/lately_i_have_been_hearing_abo.html Life Tue, 16 Jun 2009 17:27:17 -0600 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Galatians 1:10 - Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. Have you ever gotten so into a relationship (whether it's friend, family or boyfriend) that you feel like you've lost yourself? Then, when the relationship ends for whatever reason, it feels like all the joy has been sucked out of your life? That's what Proverbs 4:23 is talking about. Whoever or whatever we love the most has control of our heart, and the only one who can be trusted with our hearts is Jesus. He's the only one who said He would never leave us and He's the only one who loves us unconditionally, meaning there's absolutely nothing you can do that will make Him stop loving you. Then He goes on to say in Galatians 1:10 that either you live to please people or you live to please God, but the minute you start living for people you stop being His servant. You stop following Him and start following whoever it is you're trying to make happy. He never intended for us to love the people around us more than we do Him, and He never intended for us to be controlled by them. There's only misery there, because people are infinitely harder to please than God is. So I can give you 4 or 7 or 12 steps to setting boundaries or I can tell you that the one thing that will keep it all in check is if you truly love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. Jesus said that the two most important commandments are to love God first and most, and then love others as much as we do ourselves. It's taken decades, but finally I've gotten tired of caring so much what people think and have decided that the only opinion that matters is God's. When He's the most important relationship in my life, the boundaries automatically fall into place because He's the only one I'm concerned about pleasing. He's the one who knows what my life is supposed to look like and the only one who knows what will destroy me in this world, and The Holy Spirit does a much better job of setting up boundaries than I can because He can see what's really happening in and around me. So pray. Pray everyday that God will help you love Him with your whole heart and that He will set Himself up as guard over your heart and your soul. Pray and never give up. There's more power in prayer than you can imagine. ]]> http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/06/i_am_a_really_big_people_pleas.html http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/06/i_am_a_really_big_people_pleas.html Life Mon, 01 Jun 2009 16:05:32 -0600 This one was taken right off our prayer wall and I think it's worth discussing because I think a lot of people are dealing with this. Here is what I have learned the hard way. If I'm struggling with something and it's not getting better, then I'm probably not really struggling with it. I'm probably feeding it. I'll explain. Let's say this desire to have sex is like a monster that lives in your heart and head. Something in you wants the monster to go away but something else (hello sin nature) kind of likes it and wants it to stick around. So you pray and pray that God will take it away but instead of going away the monster just keeps getting bigger and stronger. What's the deal? You're praying but for some reason God isn't fixing the problem. Has He given up on you or are you not praying right or what? I think the place to start is to look at your actions and see if your actions are working against your prayer. Do you watch sex scenes from your favorite movies over and over? Do you look at things you shouldn't on the internet and TV? Do you let your mind wander into places it shouldn't go instead of taking every thought captive and obedient to Christ like it says in 2 Corinthians 10:5? If you talk about sex with your friends a lot and fill your mind with it via TV, movies, books, and the internet - then you aren't really struggling against it no matter how much you pray. You're feeding the monster and making it stronger so that it has more control over you every day. It's like if you pray that God will make you skinny but you eat 2 boxes of Krispy Kreme a day. Never gonna happen. So my question to you is what are you actually doing, other than praying, to fight this thing? Are you willing to sacrifice the things that keep you focused on sex or romance and shift your focus to Jesus? If you're feeling down on yourself read Romans 7 and you'll see that even Paul had monsters to fight. When Jesus offers us freedom He always requires that we walk away from our sin, that we stop doing those things that are keeping us in chains. He offers Himself in exchange for the monster but you have to let go of the one in order to hold on to the Other. There isn't room in your heart for both. And remember this - some battles are long and hard but don't ever give up because in the end Jesus always wins. http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/05/i_am_really_having_a_problem_w_1.html http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/05/i_am_really_having_a_problem_w_1.html Body/Beauty Fri, 01 May 2009 17:00:00 -0600 "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." That fear or reverence of God is what keeps us in check if we happen to be charming or beautiful. It's a constant reminder that He knows every motive behind my every move or word. So be charming but do it for the right reasons, and as soon as you notice you're playing people... knock it off. The goal is not that everyone loves you and thinks you're great but that they think Jesus is great because of how you live. ]]> http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/04/i_understand_that_i_shouldnt_s_1.html http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/04/i_understand_that_i_shouldnt_s_1.html Body/Beauty Wed, 01 Apr 2009 08:00:00 -0600 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. That is an excellent question and one that is rarely answered well. It's like the "how far is too far?" question. We want some rules to go by (as long as they're just suggestions) but we don't want to get to the root of it all and look at our hearts. The question I would ask to get to the root issue is "who are you dressing for?" If you're dressing to get the attention of guys, then you'll probably wear stuff that's too revealing, short, tight, and in general inappropriate. If you're dressing to fit in with a certain crowd, you'll wear what they wear even if it's wrong or stupid. If you're dressing to impress other girls, you'll be so caught up in fashion, shopping and appearances that you'll end up shallow, self-focused and probably broke. However, if you're dressing to please God it takes a lot of the pressure off, because He's much easier to please than the general public. Try this - imagine Jesus is in your room each morning as you're getting ready (because He's there whether you remember it or not) and dress to be attractive to Him alone. Then the question becomes, "How do I dress for Jesus each day instead of myself or others?" Think of it this way...Jesus calls you His bride, His beloved, and at the same time you're a child of God which makes you royalty. How would a royal bride dress and act on a daily basis? She probably wouldn't shoot for sexy or desperate, or let her wardrobe be decided by the people around her, because she would want to represent her family and her soon-to-be husband well. She wouldn't have to adjust her clothes all day because they're too short and tight and she would be comfortable enough in what she's wearing that she can think about others and help them when needed. Go back and read the verses at the top and really think them through. True beauty has nothing to do with what you wear, and a person who is truly beautiful in spirit can rock just about any outfit. Imagine the freedom in that...]]> http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/03/how_should_i_dress_if_i_dont_w_1.html http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/03/how_should_i_dress_if_i_dont_w_1.html Body/Beauty Sun, 01 Mar 2009 08:00:00 -0600 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. - Matt 6:33 First we need to redefine a few things and you're going to need to hang with me on this one to see where I'm going. There's good news in the end for all of us. We have this idea that somewhere out there "The One" is waiting for us, but we have mistakenly decided that "The One" is a person and it isn't. I know that's the last thing some of you want to hear because we all dream of some perfect person coming along who will sweep us off our feet and make us whole and happy. Hollywood has banked off this dream for decades and has helped turn it into an idol for a lot of us. The problem with this theory (we'll call it the "You Complete Me" theory) is twofold: One - the only perfect person was Jesus and biblically only He can complete anyone. As a matter of fact the Bible talks about it quite a bit. Whenever it talks about us being made complete or perfect, it's talking about Jesus doing the work, never a person. There's nothing wrong with wanting to find someone and get married, by all means start praying now and trusting God with your future and all that's ahead of you. The mistake is in putting all our hopes and dreams on that person and expecting them to make everything ok. They can't, and it's a burden that has ruined millions of relationships...some of them my own. Two - The other BIG problem with buying into this theory is that it tells us that being loved by a person is better than being loved by God. It glorifies human love and debases or lowers our view of Jesus' love for us. And when we start to understand, bit by bit, how ridiculously HUGE His love for us is, then we can see how wrong it is to choose the love of a person over what He offers. I'm not saying you can't love both God and people, but you have to get them in the right order to do it well. Nowhere in the Bible will you find God raising human love to the level where most of us have it today. As a matter of fact, the only one we're supposed to love with our whole heart is Him - He says it over and over again (old testament and new). Because in loving Him first and most, with everything I have, I am free to love people well without placing impossible expectations on them. And what I have found is that as my love for Jesus grows beyond my love for anyone else, I am freed from this terrible loneliness and despair that makes me desperate for someone to love me, and I am free to live and love joyfully. C.S. Lewis says in The Weight of Glory - "We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” If human love, even in a best friend or boyfriend or husband, is a "mud pie" compared to what God is offering, we are foolish if we keep seeking the mud instead of the infinite joy. So my question to you is, are you more interested in seeking the love of a person than you are in seeking God Himself? And are you willing to pursue Him first and see what He might have for you? In my experience, pursuing the love of a person has led to some of the biggest disappointments and miseries in my life, but pursuing God for the goal of finding Him alone has led to freedom and real joy and the love I've been looking for. ]]> http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/02/im_starting_to_feel_maybe_no_o_1.html http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/02/im_starting_to_feel_maybe_no_o_1.html Guys Sun, 01 Feb 2009 08:00:00 -0600 Yes it is, for a lot of people. And I never really understood why people couldn't just hold it together and stay pure until I found myself in a relationship where I was finally tempted and messed up. It's pretty easy when we're not dating and not interested in a guy to say "I would never do that" or "I'm waiting until I'm married". The real test is do we stand firm when temptation hits and is Jesus more important to us than our own desires. That's when we learn what we truly believe. I didn't date until college but then a guy came along who said all the right things and made me believe that he really loved me (true love doesn't push for sex or use someone and then walk away), and all of a sudden I was justifying behavior I said I would never do and giving in on things that I knew were wrong. It didn't help that I had told God to take a hike because I wanted to do things my own way. In a world where the devil is working overtime to destroy people, and the world wants us to think that sex is the greatest experience we can have (it isn't), and everyone seems to be doing it, it's very easy to throw away all convictions and go with what's exciting and feels good instead of sticking to principles. I have learned that no matter how strong you think you are, you are never beyond temptation and everyone is capable of making big mistakes that they can never take back. My advice to everyone is don't get too proud and judge others for falling, and when tempted - "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." - James 4:7 http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/01/is_is_really_that_hard_to_stay.html http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2009/01/is_is_really_that_hard_to_stay.html Guys Thu, 01 Jan 2009 08:00:00 -0600 This is in response to Imone's comment from the 2nd Vampire blog. Here was her full comment/question and it was a good one: "I really wanna say something, but I don't wanna offend anyone. Jesus knows my heart, so here it goes... Maybe if the Bible was as intresting as Twilight (not with fake stuff like Vampires, but with how easy it is to follow and understand) we would have more youth on fire for Christ...I understand that The Holy Bible is a manual on which the foundation of millions of people is placed-- but why is it so wrong to re-write, no-- wrong word...Re-translate the Bible to how we can understand it? I've had, total to date 12 youth Bibles, and all they do is kiddy-fye it. Accessability, and simplicity, is what we lack in the Bible, that's present in Twilight. That's why people are in love with it, and not the Bible. Ye's, and Thou's, require work to understand sometimes. Twilight doesn't." I thought the Bible was boring for most of my life and there are a few reasons why. Some of it had to do with the fact that I had gone to church for as long as I could remember and had heard all the stories a million times. There's also the translation issue you bring up. Some translations are so old that they don't even make sense today because we don't use those words anymore. The other big issue has been my own heart. I'll tackle those three and you guys can jump in with your thoughts. 1) The church overload issue - When you hear the same things over and over again you just eventually tune out - you guys probably do it in school all the time. The sad thing is that there are some amazing stories in the Bible and tuning out means you'll never discover them for yourselves. I have learned (and I tend to be a slow learner) that when I make the effort and dig in on my own, looking for Jesus, He starts opening up mysteries to me that I miss when I just let someone else spoon feed me. 2) The translation issue - I think this is a two-parter. First is the difficulty of finding a translation that's understandable but not too dumbed-down. And it's not wrong to translate the Bible in a language people can understand as long as they have stayed true to the original text. You might want to check out the New Century Version which is also available in a magazine format called Revolve. Second is the fact that people are reading less today than in the past and because of that our ability to read books with depth is almost shot. Books like the Twilight series are considered "light" reading and need little to no deep thinking to understand. They feed on our emotions, which is exciting, but we don't have to really think much. On the other hand, the Bible is about as deep as it gets. So if you try to go from popular literature to the Bible, it's like trying to jump from your first ever swim meet to the Olympics in one big leap. You're not going to make it. Try moving from what you're reading now to The Lord of The Rings series or Pride and Prejudice as a warm up. Those books are AMAZING and have a lot more detail and twists and turns, so your brain gets more of a work out. And read just a little bit of the Bible each day to see how much you can get out of it if you really try. Start in Daniel - I had a crush on him for a while...seriously. 3) The heart issue - To be honest, my biggest problem was that I just didn't care that much about the Bible and what it had to say because there were more exciting things going on around me. What I now know is that there's nothing more exciting going on than Jesus, and the Bible is where He shows Himself to me the most if I let Him. Only He can help us understand things too wonderful for our small minds, so ask Him for help. Ephesians 1:16-17 says "I always remember you in my prayers, asking the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, to give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you will know him better. " My personal opinion is that He didn't make it easy because He wants us to be dependent on Him and to care enough that we make the effort. So keep asking, seeking, and knocking and you will find. It's a promise (Matthew 7:7) and He hasn't gone back on a promise yet. Thoughts?]]> http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2008/12/why_is_it_so_wrong_to_rewrite.html http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2008/12/why_is_it_so_wrong_to_rewrite.html God/Bible questions Mon, 01 Dec 2008 12:00:00 -0600 From one of our Girls Gone Virtuous Facebook group members: This would be easier to actually have a conversation about so feel free to follow up with comments and we can keep it going if you want to. Here's what I can tell you to get the ball rolling. I'm slowly learning that although our lives all look different, what He wants from and for us is the same. He wants us. All of us. Our tendency is (at least mine is) to love people more than Him or spend more time thinking about boys and cars and money and clothes and school and stuff than we do about Him. And that's where things get so confusing. Because the more time I spend thinking and worrying about all that other stuff, the more I love those things more than Him and I can't hear Him when He speaks. And He's not one to play games or mess with us - He's pretty straightforward. It's when I calm down and spend time with Him, just to get to know Him, that's when I hear Him best. And He's always doing what's best for me, so really I'm safest when I'm more focused on Him than on everything else. Here's my first suggestion: hang out with Jesus, not because you're trying to get something out of Him, but just because you want to know Him. Pour out your heart to Him and ask Him to guide you in the right direction. I have found that when I'm freaking out about something it's usually because I don't trust God to do what I want. A huge part of walking with God is learning to trust Him more than yourself and loving Him more than anyone in the world. Remember, God speaks to us all the time, every day; sometimes through the Bible or through people, and sometimes in ways you would never imagine. The problem is that we're bad listeners. Here are some verses that floated though my head as I was thinking about this: Psalm 62:8 - Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight. Jeremiah 29:12-13 - Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart Philippians 4:6-7 - Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. (The Message)]]> http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2008/11/i_really_like_this_guy_and_he_1.html http://www.virtuousreality.com/questions/2008/11/i_really_like_this_guy_and_he_1.html Guys Sat, 01 Nov 2008 06:00:00 -0600