This question came in from the website a few weeks ago. If any of you have a question you want us to address you can always e-mail me directly at jamie@virtuousreality.com.
"What is your view on baptism?
I have been baptized as a baby, but I feel like that wasn't me making the decision. My parents are strict Methodists and they think that if I get baptized again then it would be disrespectful or.....just not good and against their beliefs. I've tried to get them to listen and realize that I'm serious about this and that it isnt just some teenage rebillion or whim and that i've thought about this for a long time, but that gets them even more upset. Then there is the other half of my family that is baptist and they act like i might go to hell if i'm not baptized or that i havent done something right, that doesnt seem right to me either. I talked to my youth minister about it and she told me a little bit about what her church believes. However, my parents disagree with a lot of things my youth minister says purely because she is non-denominational, and i rarely get to go to youth group and see her.My youth minister said i might have to wait until i leave my parents house to do this, but i want some information about it too so i can know that im making this decision becuase of what i believe...not my parents denomination. I don't want to cause a family uproar if i do decide to get baptized, but i need to do whats right for ME for a change...and right now that means getting as unbiased information as i can. So please please PLZ could you give some bible verses or advice or something to help me. Thank you"
This is a very touchy topic with a lot of people and some churches are even willing to die on this hill so you're not alone in your battle but you're definitely in a tough spot. I want to congratulate you on where you are right now, on working this out and coming to a place of obedience and owning your faith instead of relying on what others tell you. The hard part will be following Jesus as He leads you when your parents disagree with where He's taking you. You need to honor your parents but live to please God and not people.
Here's what I believe about baptism from my own study of it. Biblically, there's no support for infant baptisms. I think people want to believe that they can do something to save their kids when they're little so they have them baptized and believe that it will somehow cover them for life. You can't force a baptism on someone else because it's the heart behind the act that gives it meaning, and for the baby who's baptized it's just another bath or rain shower (depending on how it's done). Biblically, baptism is a public statement that you're leaving your old sinful life behind and starting fresh and clean because of what Jesus did for you. It signifies dying to who you used to be and becoming a new person by the Spirit of God and it's not a decision someone else can make for you no matter what age you are. In the church today there are an awful lot of rules made by man that have twisted themselves around the truth, but in reality they aren't that important to God. This is why we have so many different denominations of what is supposed to be one unified church, and I think that's what you're battling with your parents. They have learned that your baptism as a baby was something special and that you'll be dishonoring them and/or the church by doing it again on your own. The real problem with that thinking is that we're not supposed to live to please people or our church because they tend to get a lot of things wrong, we're supposed to live to please God Himself. If you can have a respectful conversation with your parents, explaining why you want to be baptized and maybe ask them to show you biblically why they think it's wrong, then go ahead and see if they'll engage you that way. Maybe you'll all learn something new.
I also don't believe that baptism is a deal breaker although some people will tell you it is. What I mean is that you can know Jesus, love Jesus, and be saved without being baptized. This is where the story of the thief on the cross is so enlightening (I can't tell you how thankful I am for that story). Here's a man who has only a few hours left to live and has not lived well up to this point, but in the last moments he sees Jesus for who He really is and puts his faith in Him, and it's enough. Jesus doesn't say "Well if we could get down from here I could baptize you and you would be in, but since we're both stuck up here you're doomed." Instead He says "Today you will be with me in paradise" because it's knowing Jesus that saves us, not what we do because we THINK we know Him. If we're saved by what we do then we're saved by works and not by faith and that goes against everything Jesus taught and makes His death unnecessary.
Having said that, I do think that being baptized is important or it wouldn't be a command and Jesus wouldn't have done it Himself, even though He never sinned and didn't have a life of sin to leave behind. For Him it seems to have marked the point in His life where He went from being Jesus the Carpenter to Jesus the Teacher, the Discipler of Men, and the Ultimate Sacrifice. So if I'm trying to follow Jesus, why not follow Him in this too? Why not say out loud to the world that I'm a new person and my life is forever changed because of what Jesus did for me? In the New Testament it was expected that those who believed would be baptized because it was a sign of their belief, but it wasn't the baptism that saved them, it was the belief. If the Lord is urging you to be baptized then follow His leading, but talk with your parents and be willing to humbly walk through the Bible with them in order to figure this out. God's expectation of us with our parents is that we always be respectful and loving toward them even when we disagree. Keep in mind that even Jesus did things that His parents disagreed with (like disappearing when He was 12 and freaking the whole family out) because His heart was set on God but don't let the devil ruin your relationship with your folks. Remember that God works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28) - so He can bring something good out of this frustrating situation. Just trust Him and walk where He leads you and never be afraid to shout to the world that you follow a God who saves.
Hope that helps! I'll be praying for you.
Comments (10)
thank you so much :)
Posted by Anonymous | November 2, 2009 4:20 PM
I totally agree! Baptism is a public profession of your faith. How can someone else do it for you. I believe in baby dedication, but infant baptism is only good for cleaning the baby. :)
Posted by Shirley | November 2, 2009 5:46 PM
Our church has always taught that baptism is a sign of obidience after you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior. Your are baptized as He was and you go under to your old way of life and come back up to a new way of life. I don't believe doing that to a baby makes them a Christian for life or ensures them going to heaven if they die as a baby. I believe in an age of accountability. This child has reached that age. Her parents just don't believe what she believes and they can't accept it. She is going to have to pray and immerse herself in the Word. It's the only way.
Posted by melissa | November 2, 2009 5:52 PM
I wanted to comment on the issue of Baptism because it is a tough issue. I simply want to share the opposing viewpoint because the answer here said that they did not feel there was any Biblical justification for it. This is not true. Here's a link to a respected pastor in Alabama that recently shared about their belief in infant baptism (http://www.bobflayhart.com/2009/10/water-cannons.html). While I don't agree 100% with the blog, it does give a Biblical understanding of the opposing viewpoint. I hope this comment is posted even though it disagrees with the answer because I think it raises some good issues.
Posted by Gresham | November 2, 2009 5:55 PM
Hey Jaime!
i go to a christian high school and there are tons of kids there that were baptized as babies. I was baptized two summers ago and i go to a baptist church. Really listen to this article because it is right on track!
Posted by Katie | November 2, 2009 6:24 PM
this article kind of brings me to a question i have: what is the difference between baptist and methodist and pentecostal and all those other denominations? i would really like to know because my dad is the pastor of my church and whenever people ask what denomination it is, i always say "Christian" and my mom always says "non-denominational." so i guess my question is, what's the difference?
Posted by Anonymous | November 2, 2009 9:12 PM
I really appreciate this teen's desire to please the Lord and to search the Bible to find out the right thing to do. As a mom myself, I'd be really happy to know my teen was approaching a decision thoughtfully and biblically.
I think Jamie's advice to respecfully and lovingly discuss the issue with your parents is a good one. Share with them what you've read about baptism in the Bible and why you desire to make the choice to be baptized now. Ask them to pray about it, too.
But may I add another thought? If your parents are still not convinced after talking and praying, I recommend you wait until you're older to take this step. After all, as Jamie explained, baptism is important but it isn't required for salvation.
The Bible tells us in several places to honor and listen to and obey our parents. And God has given your parents the responsiblity to raise you the best they know how. If they were asking you to do something immoral, I'd absolutely agree that you have to please God and not men--not even parents. But I don't believe that waiting for baptism falls in this category, does it?
There will come a day when you can take this step on your own as an adult. In the meantime, you can still study God's Word and pray and worship and serve our Lord Jesus. And maybe as your parents watch you grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord, they will see that what you say is true: that this is not a whim or a rebellion but a genuine conviction from the Lord and they will give you their blessing to be baptized sooner rather than later.
Just 1 more comment: I notice that there is disagreement among your extended family over the issue of baptism. This could be part of the reason that this is such a sensitive issue for your parents. It is a sad thing when denominatinal differences cause friction and disunity among family members.
Posted by elisabeth | November 4, 2009 12:22 AM
I think that you should talk it over with your parents. They are your parents,after all, and will love despite your decision. I should know- I was in a similar situation. I talked it over with my parents and they WERE upset, but they accepted the fact that I didn't think exactly the same way that they did. I am praying for you!
Bri
Posted by Brianna | November 4, 2009 11:41 PM
I am offended with this blog. When you are baptized as a baby, like I was, you are being brought to the church and your parents are promising to raise you there. It is not about you, just God working the miracle. In middle school, you go through confirmation, where you confirm your faith and join the church, remembering the baptism. It is perfectly okay to be baptized when you are older, too, but this is just so you will understand Methodist baptism. There is nothing wrong with either way of baptism.
Posted by Olivia | November 14, 2009 6:04 PM
Olivia: I understand what the infant baptism meant, and I am greatful that both my intermidiate family and my church family cared enough to do this for me; however, I would like to experience a baptism that I decide myself, where I confirm my faith and feel God's grace. I just want to get all the information I need on this. I respect my Methodist family's way of doing things, and yes i have been through confirmation. However, I believe that at the time when I went through that I did not go through a truly spiritual experience. The only thing I have a problem with now is that my family is offering no support, I'm not saying all Methodists are that way.... thats just how my family is :)
Posted by no name plz | November 19, 2009 5:37 PM