I am a really big people pleaser and I need boundaries. I have some but I am afraid that I will not stand for what I should. I am now practicing how to say "NO" in a firm voice! How can I show that I have boundaries?

Ooooh man is this a big issue!! You are DEFINITELY not the only one out there with this problem. As a matter of fact I think of lot of us struggle with wanting to please people and neglect to set up boundaries in order to protect our heart. I'm going to give you two verses to start off with because I think they're the foundation for setting and keeping boundaries in relationships.

Proverbs 4:23 - Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Galatians 1:10 - Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Have you ever gotten so into a relationship (whether it's friend, family or boyfriend) that you feel like you've lost yourself? Then, when the relationship ends for whatever reason, it feels like all the joy has been sucked out of your life? That's what Proverbs 4:23 is talking about. Whoever or whatever we love the most has control of our heart, and the only one who can be trusted with our hearts is Jesus. He's the only one who said He would never leave us and He's the only one who loves us unconditionally, meaning there's absolutely nothing you can do that will make Him stop loving you.

Then He goes on to say in Galatians 1:10 that either you live to please people or you live to please God, but the minute you start living for people you stop being His servant. You stop following Him and start following whoever it is you're trying to make happy. He never intended for us to love the people around us more than we do Him, and He never intended for us to be controlled by them. There's only misery there, because people are infinitely harder to please than God is.

So I can give you 4 or 7 or 12 steps to setting boundaries or I can tell you that the one thing that will keep it all in check is if you truly love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. Jesus said that the two most important commandments are to love God first and most, and then love others as much as we do ourselves. It's taken decades, but finally I've gotten tired of caring so much what people think and have decided that the only opinion that matters is God's. When He's the most important relationship in my life, the boundaries automatically fall into place because He's the only one I'm concerned about pleasing. He's the one who knows what my life is supposed to look like and the only one who knows what will destroy me in this world, and The Holy Spirit does a much better job of setting up boundaries than I can because He can see what's really happening in and around me.

So pray. Pray everyday that God will help you love Him with your whole heart and that He will set Himself up as guard over your heart and your soul. Pray and never give up. There's more power in prayer than you can imagine.