"Is it really that hard to stay sexually pure? Could somebody please explain why? I'm not kidding. I really want to understand why it's so hard for people."

it's like that for a lot of things...
we judge people for sins that we don't commit...Murder, Theft, but really God sees all sin the same, I mean, Jeolousy is a sin but we offer A LOT more condemnation for those who murder.
Sure there has to be different consequenses, but they are still both sins.

I agree with Emma-I know every sin is equal in God's eyes, but I'm struggling to live it out and stop judging others. Gossip is probably the hardest thing for me, because it hurts the people you're talking about so much, and i know that..but when I know something about someone, its hard to keep it to myself. Especially when the people around me are talking about someone. I want to please God with my life, but I cant if I keep gossiping..But I know if I keep trying and resisting and asking God for help, I will get through it. I also know that I'm not the only one going through this, and I'll be praying for all those girls who have the same problem. Love you guys!

Jenna

I understand how the person who wrote the question feels! i completely have that mindset! for me its not a question in my mind. i know without a doubt that i could never have sex outside of marriage! but then i read what she wrote in reply to the question... and i realized that im not in a relationship, much less a serious one! however, my best friend just told me about how she met this guy at his house and his "nanny" left them alone at the house and my friend chose to stay there alone with him...she also txts him 24/7 and always wants to spend time with him... now to some people that may seem like no big deal,but its little things like that... letting ur principles fall down for a guy that lead to sex.

If you guys want to learn more about staying pure, read "And the bride wore white" by: Dannah Gresh. It changed my life! IT'S SO GOOD!

I made the mistake in High School of sleeping with who I thought was "the one." I want to share what happen to me and how it all happened to help young girls understand how easy it was for me to give in so that girls like each one of you can keep strong to staying pure tell marriage. Now this story can be long so I am going to give you the short version. I was raised in a Christian family who always were at church when the doors opened. (Even the strong fall at times)I was only 16 when I started dating, what I thought was a great guy. He just moved to town and joined our church family. He was kind and good looking. He seemed to be perfect but after dating him for 6 months his true colors started coming out. He became very jealous and controlling. He could go hang out with his friends but when I wanted to he did not want me to… and since I “loved” him I did what he wanted me to. The statement he always made to me was, “If you love me you’ll…” the common statement that get us all at some point. I gave in to him a year into our relationship only to be dumped and to find out he had been sleeping around with other girls and telling everyone I was just a bet. For a year I let a guy push me around mentally and physically, planed out my future with him, gave in to everything I promised my God and Family I would never do until I was married. We fall in to sex because of the physical temptation, the thought that it could be like a love scene from our favorite movie. We melt with the sweet talk and the smooth lines guys throw out. Saying that, we have to be strong and say NO more often. It is hard to stay pure, not going to lie, but it is possible. One must be true to themselves and respect their own body. After we split it wasn’t easy, I disappointed my parents, church, and most of all God. I never felt as terrible as I did then. And 6 months after that I still went through the pain of feeling dirty, feeling alone, wanting to end my life because I hated what I had done. Lucky for me I had a couple of TRUE friends who helped me through the tough months and helped me understand that God still loved me and that I could be forgiven. Again staying pure is hard but you have to know when to say NO and to not put yourself in situations of great temptations if you know it will be hard to say no. Respect yourself and your body. If that guy’s “loves” you he will respect you and your decision to wait.

When ever I hear about the temptations that girls go through when in high school, I fear that I will give in when I'm faced with them. One thing that stops me from worrying is the knowledge that God has already put my perfect other half out there. All I have to do is wait for him. My pastor always says that when we don't wait and we do fall into tempatation it's like we are giving part of our heart away.If we give in to temptation frequently sooner or later we will loose our heart. When we loose our heart or some of our heart we won't be able to give our future spouse our full heart, love and affection. So remember when you wait until you get married you could have the best marrige. Your other half will find you soon enouph, so in the mean time wait and relax, it's the best thing you can do.

People who get married should do it because they trust and know this person is "the one".If you give yourself before you are married then you are tempted to belive the making love is better then love itself.It's not love last for ever if you give it a try.

.Dani.

I agree with all of you! We all need God's strength to wait and remain pure until marriage. I will pray for God's guidance to keep both my thoughts and actions pure.

I know it will be hard to stay pure once I get in a relationship, so I've pretty much decided that I won't date 'till much later. I just started high school last fall and I've come to realization that I really don't need to worry about boys right now. For me, high school and college are for focusing on becoming the person God wants me to be. I really don't need a boyfriend yet, but until I meet the person God has chosen for me, I won't take just anyone and I will keep my relationship with God strong. And you girls are all right about saying "NO" more. That's a must. God bless.

I Have One Thing To Say To All You Girls & That Is, God Bless. To Tell You The Truth Girls, If Any Man You Come Across & Start Dating, Tries To Pressure You Into Sex Outside Of Marriage You Dump Him Within Your Next Breathe! It Only Shows What He's Really After, and Once He Gets It, He'll Leave You. So Do What's Right In God's Eyes First & Formost.

You never realize how tough it is to remain sexually pure until you come to the point of experiencing it yourself. You can be the strongest Christian but still struggle and unfortunately fall into temptation. At first everything seems so innocent you hug occasionally, hold hands...but once you cross the line of a little too much physical contact sin slowly creeps up on you and you find yourself doing things that you told yourself you would NEVER do. If you have crossed that line just remember that it is never too late to turn back and start from scratch,Sure it will be a challenge and take a lot of self-control...But God will honor that decision you have made, and he will bless your relationship. From being a slave to sin,dealing with guilt and conviction to becoming free from what was holding you back from God's will You will be extremely blessed if you decide to turn away from your mistakes. I know i definitely am. =)

The truth is that its a challenge to stay sexually pure but very do-able with God Almighty by your side, every step of the way. When you begin to put your boyfriend first in your heart, before God, this leads to the physical temptations. So guard your heart and also guard what you put into your mind because that can also be a major factor in your decision making. A bad guy will slowly start to push your limits and test your boundaries it won't be a sudden thing. But before long you will find yourself giving into things that you would have never imagined yourself doing. At least this was true for me. I started to feel very needy and dependent on my boyfriend and I looked to him for self worth and love. As a result, I let him push me around physically because I thought I owed it to him, and I didn't want him to get bored and dump me. However, now that I look back, I realize that breaking up with him and ending that unhealthy relationship was the best choice I ever made.

If you make sure you don't create a situation where something like that could happen thats fine. TOO many people create a situation(whether on purpose or not). Don't create, no mistake.

i agree! when your not in a serious relationship, its easy to say you wont do stuff! i know i always told my best friend not to make out and that i wouldnt till i was married and that she should follow my lead and stuff and she did! she looked up to me! then, i fell in "love" with mr "perfect" and caved when he asked me to make out with him. its hard girls!! you may not think it now, but when your in that moment, and hes sooooo cute and says all the right stuff, its hard! i was miss dont-make-out and i did!!!! i really regret it now and it was a big deal with my parents when they found out not only that i disobeyed them but lied about it (they read my texts) and i really felt bad about it. i learned the hard way that a smooth talking boy can be your downfall!!! be careful girls that think you wont fall into that sin, because i didnt think i would, but i did. never think in the heat of the moment you can stop and never ever compromise your morals for a boy!!!! fortunatelly, everything turned out ok for me and my boyfriend and we're both very sorry about what we did and its not going to happen again. hope yall can learn from me....

I really have the opposite problem. The thought of sex scares me. Perhaps it's because it's such unknown territory, or because there are so many people I know who have fallen into temptation and suffered the consequences. When I think about it, it actually frightens me, to the point of even having bad dreams. I realize it is a gift from God, and he created it for a man and wife to share. But still. It worries me.

To stay sexually pure is a decision one has to make and ensure thet you will live by the tenets of that decision and pray to God to be your helper.
it calls for a strong inner conviction of what you want in life and how you want your life to be in the near future. it is on thing you cannot risk.

I used to not understand what the big deal was, but then I met a guy that I really like, and I know he is the kind of person that will probably try to pressure me into things i am uncomfortable with but i still care what he thinks about me and it bugs me that i might be able to compromise for him. Im trying to get some perspective and think about the fact that if someone really loved me they would wait and if they were the right kind of guy the would agree, but i understand how it hard now