Cutting is a very serious issue that should never be taken lightly or even overlooked. It’s important to note that you cannot change your friend, nor are you responsible for her behavior. You are responsible though to pray for her, and to be a friend.
I am not a professional counselor, so I can’t tell you all the ins and outs of why your friend is cutting. Some girls do it because they are emotionally numb, and simply want to feel something (even if it is physical pain). Others do it for attention. And some do it as a way to work out depression or anger. Whatever the reason, cutting is NOT normal. For starters, it’s important that you tell an adult; whether it be a parent, a teacher or your pastor, an adult you trust can help your friend receive the help she needs.
As far as what to say to her, I would encourage her to talk to a counselor, preferably a Christian counselor. Cutting is serious issue and needs to be dealt with in a serious manner, by a professional.
On a personal level, encourage her to call you when she feels the urge to cut. This can be used as an opportunity to pray for her at that moment, as well as become an outlet for whatever she is feeling. And as far as how to act around her - act normal. Think of activities the two of you can do together to help her trust you more, and to help focus her energies away from herself. She needs to know that you will accept her and love her no matter what she does. That doesn’t mean you condone her cutting, but you still love the person and encourage her in the right paths.
Above all, continue to pray for your friend. Sometimes we underestimate the power we have in simply praying for someone, but it goes along way.
Think about it…..
Maybe it’s not cutting, but are you addicted to other things or do things because you feel bad about yourself? (i.e. shopping, eating, exercising, etc.)
For additional information on teen cutting, click here.
Comments (6)
i had/have the same situation about a month ago. my one friend said that when you cut yourself it lets out some type of something that makes you feel better (but i'm not sure if that is true). THE BEST THING TO DO IS TO TELL THE PERSON'S PARENT! Even if your friend is mad at you she doesn't have much reason to be because you are being a good friend and helping her out. cutting is very serious and a horrible habbit.
Posted by Anonymous | June 2, 2008 8:11 PM
I cut myself once, and was SO tempted to do it again. I finally told my friends, and they prayed with me, and I told my mom. Things have gotten alot better. It's hard not to sometimes, but I know that I've got my friends and family on my side! Thanks, Mom and Dad!!! ~Laura~
Posted by Laura | June 28, 2008 1:07 PM
This happened to my friend a few times and we had to deal with it as well. I do not agree with Anonymous' advice, because in my friend's case her parents did not know how to deal with it the first time, and instead of getting her help they grounded her for a weekend. They didn't understand the graveness of the situation. So it happened again and we told the counselur as we did before. She hasn't done it in a while, but this was because a proper professional dealt with the problems. Her parents didn't want to face that fact that she had this problem so they ignored it, which turned out poorly for my friend.
Posted by Erin | July 20, 2008 8:36 PM
I had a friend that cut herself, she called herself an Emo, i prayed for about a month and she started to stop, i kept praying and she quit, and she said ," i dont know why i did it, not i have some scars, i thank all those who prayed for me, exspceally Taylor!"
Posted by Taylor | August 4, 2008 6:59 PM
I definately had a friend who did this. I felt so bad for her because I am the person who could not stand to not be there for someone. If my friend is hurting, I an either talking to them thru the situation on the phone or I drive to their house.
I agree with erin here... I do not believe it is okay to tell the parents- sometimes you should but it very much depends on the situation. The #1 answer for this tho is PRAY FOR THEM!! You prove your friendship, your compassion, your devotion, and your love for them when you pray for them. You obviously- yea this'll sting- do not care for them if you do not take time out of your day to pray for them.
Honestly I would get confused why my one friend would do this. She knew I did not condone this... and she knew that I was hurting with her. At this time her relationship with her parents was not that great so when they found out- it wasn't that they reacted the wrong way but- they did not know how to handle it and they- as far as I am concerned- never sought help for her. I could read it on their faces that they thought she was just wanting attention... and in a way she did. She got picked on by girls in her class (I was a yr older so when I was around those girls kept their mouths shut), she felt void btwn her and her parents, and so much more. It wasnt so much wanting attention but a cry for help. Be on the lookout because if you know someone who is doing this you need a lot of wisdom from God to help out your friend...
Posted by anonymous | December 4, 2008 7:19 PM
I disagree with the 'anonymous' comment.. telling that persons parent/s may not help. It depends on the parent, and the family. I'd suggest, if you've got a youth pastor, or and older person in church- some one who you can trust, or a counsellor, they can help you to help the person.. but you shouldn't treat her differntly.. Did she tell you herself?- or did you find out? If she told you herself, it would of been a very hard thing for her to do, she might want help but i'll bet shes terrified, that she'll get in trouble, that you'll stop being her friend because you know what she does, she's proberly scared and doesnt know HOW to help herself- or even if she wants to. I mean, its easier to ignore the issue rather than face it.
These things take time though, alot of it, esp. if shes been at this for a while, just love her and through that it'll show her God, It'll be tough, but so worth it.. and one day when shes better she'll remember how much you did for her. :)
Posted by Caroline | May 10, 2010 9:03 PM