It’s easier said than done, but be patient. In telling him how you feel, are you hoping that he will realize the same for you? If he did, would you really want your relationship to begin that way – knowing that he only responded or liked you once you proclaimed your feelings? Guard your heart. Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
Keep this in mind as well: when you are delighted in the Lord, your desire becomes what He desires for you (Psalm 37:4). It's not bad liking or crushing on boys. The only time wanting something (in this case, a boyfriend) is wrong is when (a) you know it's not in God's perfect will for you, or (b) you begin to break the Lord's commands in order to obtain your desire. The Lord will give you the desire of your heart. Let's pretend that a girl (let's call her Marie) likes a boy. Marie sees qualities in him that are fitting for a boyfriend, qualities that she admires. She is even in love with his faith and love for God. It is not wrong for Marie to hope that God's plan includes this boy in her future. It would become wrong, however, if Marie broke God's natural order of things, which is that the man is the leader and initiator, and pursued this boy. If she did that, it would prove not only that she is looking for satisfaction in the boy, but also that she does not trust God. If she had found delight in the Lord, and not the boy, she could be patient and trust that if God did not grant her request that he would have something even greater. Your job is to pursue the Lord, and His job will is to either change your desires to what is fitting to his will, or to give you what you wish for. Pray that you would not delight in a boyfriend or the blessing, but that you would simply delight in the Lord.
God's plans may or may not include dating this boy, and He will give you wisdom through His Word whether or not it is the best thing right now. After all, not every crush will end up in a relationship. There are a ton of guys in this world; some will want to date you and other won’t. But when you think about it, the only guy who you really want to even attract in the end is your husband.
It’s hard, but be patient.
Comments (17)
WOW! That was awesome! Although, that wasn't totally what i wanted to hear....it was what i needed to hear! Thanks for encouraging me to continue desiring the Lord and His will for my life!
Posted by Hannah | April 2, 2008 8:42 PM
This was a very good question to ask, and a very good answer.. i'm actually going through the same thing right now!!! thanks so much!!~
Posted by Addy | April 3, 2008 8:29 PM
wow! thanks. that was a good reminder that God is in control of our lives and that we should let him take care of things.
Posted by jackie | April 3, 2008 10:12 PM
That actually was a really good question. It's kinda crazy (or not when gods involved) but I am/was kinda going through the same thing atm. I thought he was amazing and everyone thought we would be perfect, so I asked God if it was waht he wanted and if he could give me a sign and he did. I stopped liking him and saved myself from getting hurt. Just trust in God and he'll look out for you! :)
Posted by janet | April 7, 2008 1:56 AM
O my goodness i can't belive that you would say that men have to be the leader. Are you crazy????? I thought this website was about supporting females. I think that girls can be initiators also. If you like this boy it would be best to spend some time with him and start a friendship and let him get to know you better. If he likes you after that he'll ask you to be more than just friends. If you don't get close it will be obvious that this relationship won't work. The basis of every romantic relationship should be friendship!!!! Also it's not God's job to give you what you want He will do what is best for you because he love you!!!
Posted by evie | April 10, 2008 5:03 PM
That was a great answer. Thanks for that! The information is helpful in answering this question with the teen girl group I work with in the future.
Posted by lizzie | April 16, 2008 4:17 PM
To Evie:
Actually, God did set it up for men to be the initiators in a relationship, as well as the leader of a household. This website does support us girls, and the statement that men are the initiators in a relationship doesn't bash us girls in any way whatsoever. That's the way that the Lord designed it, His wonderful, perfect plan! :D Guys are supposed to PURSUE us! Now, I'm not saying we shouldn't talk to a guy or be friends with him, and that's not what this website is saying at all, by any means. But if the guy is truly interested in you, he will pursue that relationship...in God's timing. But we shouldn't try to push anything to soon, and pushing a friendship that he doesn't really care about isn't the right thing to do either. I'm just saying this as a sister in Christ. Hang in there, God only wants the best for you!
Posted by morgan | April 18, 2008 8:04 PM
That was a great question. I know I am not going through it right now, but I have before, and probably will again! Thanks for the advice!
Posted by Morganne | April 20, 2008 2:09 PM
To Morgan:
First of all I completely disagree with you about men running households.Where do you get this information from? What are single women supposed to do?
Secondly what if a guy really likes you but he's just an extremely nervous being? Shouldn't you try to help him out a little?
Posted by evie | April 28, 2008 6:07 PM
to evie
Evie, men are God's chosen leaders. That doesn't mean that women are any less in God's eyes and we shouldn't be any less in the world. We are equals, but we are the perfect complement for each other, just like God planned for us. Guys are the hunters and providers. We are the nurturers and comforters. It is a wonderful thing, and men and women are equals. We are supposed to follow our husbands, and support them, that doesn't mean we're going to do everything they say! we just should have mutual respect for them. And i've always thought that flirting is a good thing (but not too much, and ONLY with the people you actually like!!!!!!) You should really read THE DIRT ON DATING by Haley DiMarco. She provides the scriptures you need to understand this wonderful relationship. John Piper also provides a lot of insight on it.
God Bless!
Angel
Posted by angel | May 14, 2008 3:14 PM
This was a great article. I'm going through the same thing right now, and I've been told by my parents and God that I should just wait patiently. I've even asked God for a sign, and he provided me with dozens {O! Me of little faith.}
This is the final sign, seriously. I'm going to sit and wait patiently and fall more and more in love with God. Thanks a ton for this article!
Posted by Ashleigh | May 16, 2008 10:49 PM
Thank you so so much for this article!! The title explains exactly whats happening to me. We are really good friends and kinda understand each other. Almost everybody i know likes him because hes hot. I like him because hes a christian and loves the lord. We have alot in common and we BOTH hove good (purity) values. I admire his values, sense of humor,and love for the lord. I am afraid to tell him my feelings for him. Should i tell him or just keep praying?
Posted by Anonymous | July 1, 2008 11:04 AM
wow. i really needed to hear that. not that i wanted to.
i really like this guy, except he doesn't know it. i know him pretty well, and i'm friends with his sisters. i really don't think i should tell him and just wait and see what happens, but it's really hard. i'm kinda in the same situation as "anonymous" up there.
he has amazing values, loves the Lord and pretty much puts his whole life toward serving. and he's commited to staying pure until his wedding. not even kissing a girl, before his wedding day.
anyways, just thought i'd put that out there. =]
Posted by Anonymous | July 2, 2008 4:58 PM
i have the same problblem there is this guy that i like but we're bestfriends. should i tell? if i do wil it ruin our friendship. he is sweet and is a bleiver in christ and love his church what do I do.......................
Posted by Anonymous | July 6, 2008 2:50 PM
Morgan and Angel, right on! You guys SAID IT! I compltely agree with you two!! Men are the initiators. That doesn't demean us, it is just how God intended things to be. Anyways, I don't get that whole "girl power" thing like some girls think. Men are the perfect match for us. I clicked on this question because I'm struggling with this now. Not so much that I should tell him, but if it's right. He's my best friend's older brother. Great Christian guy. I just really like him, you know? Except he really doesn't seem like me too much. lOl. His sister said that he talks about me all the time though. I thought that was really surprising. He sure doesn't show it around me!
Posted by BallerinaGirl | July 23, 2008 5:32 PM
Thank you! That's really helpful!
Posted by Bailey | July 31, 2008 11:27 AM
I, too, am going through this issue in my life right now...and when I was halfway through the article, I felt the Holy Spirit stirring in me and a gush of tears came out. Anyways, I felt God speaking to me...to "Rest in Me (God)" and I surrendered the guy I had in my heart and my future husband to God's will. And I spoke to God with my special language and now I feel so satisfied with God, content. Thank You SOO much for answering this question!!!!
Posted by Abby | August 4, 2008 11:57 PM