What is wrong with comparing myself to others?

The art of comparison. I wish I could say that it’s simply a phase we all grow out of at some point. But our need to constantly compare ourselves with others stems from our lack of belief in accepting who we were created to be.

Comparison is an unhealthy form of jealousy that can consume our every being. In knowing the power of this green monster, God includes this concept within the Ten Commandments. According to Exodus 20:17, "You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."

As part of a social identity, we tend to categorize others based upon their age, gender, cultural heritage, religious background, economic status, and so on. From this, we tend to identify ourselves within one of these specific groups, and then begin to compare ourselves to the others. Whether we are trying to become better than another, or simply keep up with the Jones’, playing a game of comparison only seems to become an addiction. And the more we play it, the worse our self esteem seems to measure up.

Henry Nouwen, author of ‘The Return of the Prodigal Son’, writes that “In a world that constantly compares people, ranking them as more or less intelligent, more or less attractive, more or less successful, it is not easy to really believe in a [divine] love that does not do the same. When I hear someone praised, it is hard not to think of myself as less praiseworthy; when I read about the goodness and kindness of other people, it is hard not to wonder whether I myself am as good and kind as they; and when I see trophies, rewards, and prizes being handed out to special people, I cannot avoid asking myself why that didn’t happen to me.”

So how do we stop the madness? How do we stop comparing ourselves to others? If we are basing our identity on how we stack up to everyone around us, how and when will we ever take ownership of our identity in Christ?

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” [2 Corinthians 5:17]

“But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions - it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus.” [Ephesians 2:4-6]

“For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” [Ephesians 2:10]

“Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” [Colossians 3:12]

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."[Psalm 139:14]

From this we can gather that we have fullness in Christ. We can also claim that we are who God says we are; no matter what a magazine cover, store mannequins or a television sitcom may suggest.

Because we are all created for a purpose, we all have a role in God’s eternal story. Though the roles are different, as are our gifts and talents, it doesn’t diminish their importance. In Ephesians Paul emphasizes that as Christians, we are to be unified as the body of Christ. This calling on our lives cannot take affect, if we are somehow divided.

Comparing ourselves may not seem like a big deal, even a little harmless competition to some; however, the division of the body of Christ is no laughing matter. Besides, why are we trying to be like everyone else and have what everyone else owns when we are trying to be our own person – the person God created us to be?