My heart really goes out to you. I was picked on a lot at school, too. This is a terrible reality that too many people face in life. This is a very deep and painful topic, so I hesitate to broach the subject in just a small Internet column. But I do want you to know some truths that may open some doors for you.
First of all, I don’t want to minimize your grief. Anyone who tells you just to get over it, or that it doesn’t matter what other people think, well, that makes you feel like you’re crazy to be sad and hurt. You’re not. Your pain is real. What’s important is what you do with it. Instead of trying to ignore it by playing “sticks and stones may break my bones…,” I want you to focus on dealing with your pain. That is, talk to God about it. Find your sense of worth in Him rather than in other people. That is a lot easier said than done.
You also have to teach yourself that in the real world, relationships with people involve pain. That will never change, and you can’t control what other people say and do. So when that pain comes, turn it over to God, who is the One who does love you and accept you just the way you are, the way He created you. If you can’t teach yourself where true worth comes from (God), then you may avoid real intimacy with people in the future in order to avoid pain, and get caught up in destructive or sinful habits. You have to learn to live in the real world with real people and real pain.
I encourage you to seek out a Christian professional who can teach you coping mechanisms in dealing with relational pain. The sooner you learn it, the healthier you will be throughout life.
