How do I stop arguing with my parents? I have tried so many things and have even prayed about it. Any Advice?

One of the most notable characteristics of the teenage years is fighting with your parents. However, it’s definitely a sign of maturity to recognize that communication can occur without the element of debate, an argument or even the presence of raised voices.

I’m glad you asked, and even more so that you really want to please the Lord by not arguing with your parents. You obviously know what you to do, and now you want to know how to do it. This is the struggle that we face as followers of Christ between the flesh and the Spirit.

In Romans 7:15, Paul says, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do…for I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." Paul dealt with the same thing you are dealing with. You want to obey your parents and please God, but something happens; and no matter how sincerely you've decided or determined in your mind that you will obey, you just can’t. Paul keeps writing about how to handle it.

He says, "For in my inner being I delight in God's law: but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord." (Romans 7:22-25)

For Paul, it took coming to the conclusion that He, by himself, was incapable of obeying the Lord. This is what he means when he says, "wretched man that I am." With this struggle to obey your parents, you are getting to see early on that obeying by our own determination is impossible. But there is good news in the next verse and chapter. God, through Jesus Christ, will "rescue [us] from this body of death." When we realize that we are incapable of obeying the Lord on our own, we then rely fully on God to do the work.

In chapter 8 Paul says that "the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death…in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met by us…who live according to the Spirit." If you are a Christian, God has given you the resource you need to obey!! That resource is Himself!

Set your mind on Him. Ask Him for help. Isaiah 30:19 says that when we cry for help he will answer and be gracious as soon as he hears us. That is a promise! Pray that God would show you how to depend on Him when it comes to obeying your parents and honoring them.

Here are some good tips to help communicate more openly without the onset of an argument or full-fledged debate. While conflict can at times be constructive within a relationship, the act of yelling is by no means an art form.