How do I stop arguing with my parents? I have tried so many things and have even prayed about it. Any Advice?

One of the most notable characteristics of the teenage years is fighting with your parents. However, it’s definitely a sign of maturity to recognize that communication can occur without the element of debate, an argument or even the presence of raised voices.

I’m glad you asked, and even more so that you really want to please the Lord by not arguing with your parents. You obviously know what you to do, and now you want to know how to do it. This is the struggle that we face as followers of Christ between the flesh and the Spirit.

In Romans 7:15, Paul says, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do…for I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." Paul dealt with the same thing you are dealing with. You want to obey your parents and please God, but something happens; and no matter how sincerely you've decided or determined in your mind that you will obey, you just can’t. Paul keeps writing about how to handle it.

He says, "For in my inner being I delight in God's law: but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord." (Romans 7:22-25)

For Paul, it took coming to the conclusion that He, by himself, was incapable of obeying the Lord. This is what he means when he says, "wretched man that I am." With this struggle to obey your parents, you are getting to see early on that obeying by our own determination is impossible. But there is good news in the next verse and chapter. God, through Jesus Christ, will "rescue [us] from this body of death." When we realize that we are incapable of obeying the Lord on our own, we then rely fully on God to do the work.

In chapter 8 Paul says that "the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death…in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met by us…who live according to the Spirit." If you are a Christian, God has given you the resource you need to obey!! That resource is Himself!

Set your mind on Him. Ask Him for help. Isaiah 30:19 says that when we cry for help he will answer and be gracious as soon as he hears us. That is a promise! Pray that God would show you how to depend on Him when it comes to obeying your parents and honoring them.

Here are some good tips to help communicate more openly without the onset of an argument or full-fledged debate. While conflict can at times be constructive within a relationship, the act of yelling is by no means an art form.

  • Take deep breathes (this can help lessen the intensity of the moment).

  • Be open and honest with how you feel without letting your emotions rule the conversation.

  • Listen. Even if you disagree, simply listen to what your parent’s are saying.

  • Try looking at the situation/issue from your parent’s perspective.

  • Accountability. Talk to your parents about how you both can steer away from the urge to argue and hold each other accountable to that.
  • Comments (9)

    Elijah Shanks:

    How can i stop argueing with my step dad and mom?Its so hard to stop i need help and someone to talk to.


    hey i need lots of help to stop. i pray and pray and pray to the lord to help me stop. can you please pray for me. i need lots of help.


    I know what you mean.


    I think I might be able to help!
    I have a good realationship with my parents, even if I have quarrels once and a while. Here are some tips for not only Matt and Elijah Shanks, but for everybody, to improve their relationship with their parents.

    -if you mess up don't beat your self up over it, ask for forgiveness, and explain what you did wrong (so they know you really mean it) Don't look down at the floor and mumble sorry, but look in your parents eyes and say you are sorry for your mistake.

    -try to see things from their point of view, they love you, and want all the best for you

    -accept their answer to something (this is a trial for me, most of my fights with my parents start with me saying "why?") if they say no, accept it

    -if they ask you to do something, do it! After all the Bible says to honor and OBEY your mom and dad.

    Hope this helps! Just ask me if you need more tips or advice! GOD BLESS YOU ALL! :)

    Dawn :

    I need help to stop me from argueing with my stepdad and mom.? :L


    Hey Dawn, remember what I said

    Hope it helps, GOD BLESS :)


    I always fight with my parents.

    It doesn't matter how much I try to stop they always seem to get underneath my skin. My Dad is so insensitive, he always knows just the right thing to say that hurts right where it does the most.

    Today he called me a quitter because I wanted to resign from my job, but if I was a quitter I would have quit as soon as I knew I was going to hate it? wouldn't I? But I stayed in the job for a month, even thought I knew from my first shift I was going to hate it.

    He's said so many horrible things in the past and he never apologizes, Mom says he is just too stuck in his ways and it is just too late to change him, but the fact that he doesn't apologize just leads me to believe he might mean what he says even though Mom says he doesn't/ He even told me he wished I was never born once.

    I try not to hate my Dad, but when he says mean things whenever I'm upset about something, it's hard to control my feelings.

    Please help, I am miserable.

    Amanda :

    Thank you all for your help. My 10 year old daughter constantly argues, and I'm having her read some of the stuff you wrote, to help her realize she's not the only one. I hope your tips help her. Thanks again!


    this didnt help

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