Do you know what the word infatuation means? It is defined as a short-lived, foolish, unreasoning or extravagant attraction to someone or something. A crush is the same thing! Crushes are normally something that develops after only a short time of knowing a person. During this time, you probably get butterflies in your stomach every time you are around your crush, daydream and draw tiny hearts all over your schoolwork, and wonder does he like me, too? These are normal feelings at any age, and are experienced many times over.
So then, what makes the difference between the feelings of a crush and the feelings of being in-love? Have you ever looked at what love is from a Biblical standpoint? 1 Corinthians 13 defines love clearly:
Love is patient; love is kind. Love does not envy; is not boastful; is not conceited; does not act improperly; is not selfish; is not provoked; does not keep a record of wrongs; finds no joy in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
Love, therefore, encompasses a whole world of feelings and actions. Whereas a crush is passive: love is active. Love is also something that develops gradually, over time. Yes, there are stories of people who meet and experience love-at-first-sight, get married and live happily ever after, but the majority of lasting relationships take time to grow.
Somewhere in the middle of just a crush and love is being in-love. Being in-love is the process of loving the other person and it will either turn into genuine love (see 1 Corinthians 13), or fade into friendship.
It is important not to rush things in a relationship. Let me ask you this: Have you gotten to be friends with the boy you like? Do you not only know his interests and passions, but also share yours with him? Friendship is a great basis for a deeper relationship. Be smart enough to know that a true love relationship is based on far more than just looks and crush-like interest. It’s grounded in faithfulness and a commitment to love/serve/honor the other person even when feelings fade or the giddiness disappears. Crushes manifest in feelings. Love manifests in action.
Comments (12)
I believe that the differences in a crush and true love is huge, first of all a crush is your initial attraction and outlook on someone. Were as love goes deeper to the times were it gets hard. Two people that have commitment, friendship, and attraction is when there is true love.
Posted by Alessandra | August 27, 2007 7:41 PM
Yeah, i totally agree. its just, when you have all that and that guy isnt a christian, its really hard and confusing. It really stinks that someone so great becomes ur best friend and you dont know what he really believes.
Posted by beka | September 1, 2007 2:03 PM
I really enjoyed reading over this! I loved the bible verse put out for us it really helps the reader and more specific me to understand what love really is and how to keep your relationship true and healthy-Thanks
Posted by Emily | October 8, 2007 7:13 PM
1st off i think that you should be friends with a guy & work your way in2 a relationship over time. You need 2 get to know the guy & wat hes about & more importantly KNOW if hes a christian. Once BOTH of you trust each other sit him down & tell hin how you feel about him. It will be easier & alot less akward!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
Posted by Princess | October 29, 2007 5:06 PM
OMG! i have been really confused on how 2 tell if u really love someone or if it is just a short lived crush. it can b so confusing at times but when i look at the scripture and read the words thet God gave 2 me, i understand so much more! but the best thing is that you don't have 2 fill that empty space with a guy 2 "love" you. God can do that so much better than any guy in the world. it's just so amazing 2 kno that! so when i feel upset or down b/c a guy let me down, i rnu 2 Him cuz i kno He will always b there 4 me. now that's something 2 smile about!!!
Posted by Kaitlyn | November 22, 2007 11:09 AM
I totally agree with Princess!! Girl, rock on and keep it up! Yeah I've made an idiot out of myself & believed a lie...more than once. I guess I should've learned the first time...I guess that's just a part of learning. Well all I can say is that Jesus Christ is the prince in all the fairy tales, the guy who'll ALWAYS be there for you, and don't worry; you don't have to ask Him if he loves you...He already does! Y'all should listen to "For the Ladies" ,or something like that, by KJ-52. Well, y'all, you guys are awesome and God always loves you and he always will, no matter what u do!! Always know that! Luvs & Hugs From Mississippi!!! Good 'ole Poplarville!
Posted by Katie | December 5, 2007 1:26 PM
Man, I wish I would have known this sooner! I was in 7th grade and me and this dude, Andrew, were going out for about a couple days by then. We kissed...alot...and before we did he told me he loved me. My response was "I love you to." That was a big mistake. Then not to long after he was talking about his family and out of no where he just brings up, "Which I hope you'll be apart of someday." I was shocked and I just nodded my head. I don't know why I did. So, I wish I would have known that sooner. Love is forever - crushes are for never!
Posted by Bree | December 27, 2007 11:18 AM
HElP,I dont now what to do. thers a RRREEELLLLLLLYYYY CUTE GUY, but I dont now if I am cruching are in love. Please,help me
Posted by carly valentine | January 7, 2008 9:22 PM
Well, if you really 'love' or 'crush' on him because he is cute, then it's probably just an infatuation. Real relationships go soooo much deeper. "Crushes manifest in feelings. Love manifests in action." This passage is the best I've heard on this subject. Thanks so much!! I've been taught that love is an action. I don't come across many people who believe the same thing. It's nice to know that others do understand that!
Posted by Rachel | April 14, 2008 7:24 PM
Well that pretty much answers a question for me. It really wasn't a question that bothered me, but it was just kind of there waiting to be answered. So I'm happy I found the answer. THANKS~~Emily
Posted by Emily | May 16, 2008 8:56 PM
Well thanx I just Have a question that wasn't answered when I read this. What if you have had crush on a person for years?
Posted by Ananymous | July 4, 2008 5:57 PM
Um...yeah, I have totally been struggling with this and I am so totally thankful for whoever wrote this article or posted!!! It helps to know others in Christ are going through the same issue and I'm not alone.
:)
Posted by Abby | August 4, 2008 11:31 PM