How upsetting it is to hear that a friend is talking about you behind your back, and even more painful when it’s your BEST friend! Whenever news like this makes it back to you, you must first consider the source. It’s possible that the person that told you this might have heard it second hand or maybe didn’t relay it to you the way it really happened. In any case, you should confront your best friend.
Pray first, before you approach her, so that you will be in the right state of mind and so that you will speak God’s words. If she really is your friend, she’ll be open to listening to you. You must first confirm that she did in fact gossip (confirm the facts), and then explain how her actions have made you feel. There is no way that the situation will be resolved without honesty and communication. Proverbs 16:28 says “A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.”
If your friend did say something about you, figure out why she might have done it, and then, you must forgive her. Luke 6:37, “Forgive and you will be forgiven.” It’s ok to take a breather from the friendship while you work through your hurt. Forgiveness is hard to do, and it may take some time, but ultimately forgiveness is what we are called to do as Christians. Remember…you are a sinner too, and may have even gossiped yourself on occasion!
Once you and your best friend work it out, it should make your relationship stronger.
Comments (6)
This might seem like a strange word to use, but the first thing I thought of when I read this was ... "Whoa."
For the past couple of weeks I've been dealing with a friend who has had a history of talking about me behind my back. I have prayed about it and did have a conversation with her, but it's taking me a while to fully forgive her.
Reading this article has given me the confidence to pray more about this to God and to realize it's okay to take time to forgive, but that I should forgive just as Jesus forgave me.
Thank you and praise God! :)
Posted by Niki | June 16, 2007 10:38 PM
I am having serious trouble with my friend and have been strongly praying about it. My life is messed up. I have only one TRUE friend and all my other friends talk behind my back. I really pray to God about this each day but he never seems to make it better. Why is God waiting?
Posted by Tiffany | November 1, 2007 12:51 PM
i have been struggling with the same stuff as u have been, tiffany, and trust me i ask that question everyday....Why is God waiting? and the answer that i have come to is this...God will be glorified through everything and He is making u wait b/c He wants to see how much u depend on Him and through all of this stuff that u r going through u will grow closer to God! wat this article said spoke directly to me and its hard but i am really trying to forgive the people that hurt me i can only do that with Gods help!
Posted by cheerleader | November 10, 2007 6:10 PM
I know exactly how you feel, i was going through the same thing, when i was in hawaii, i found out that two of my best friends were talking behind my pack, and saying some pretty mean things about me. i didnt know what to do at first, but then when i got home i faced them with what i had heard, one of my friends are really shy, and didnt say much, but i have known her for a long time and i knew she was sorry, the other friend, she appologized, and had huge regret in her voice, now after i have gone through the most hurtful thing in my life, those two friends have been there for me most. Just pray about it and ask God to change their minds and hearts about you, and if it's something that your doing, ask God to help you to change that, or help you to control it, or your friends to accept it.
Posted by Kelsey | December 19, 2007 11:34 PM
Don't worry that happens to me all the time. My friends are always doing that, cause you see i got a new friend and i am always talking to her and she talks back she is also really nice. But the bad part is all my other friends talk about us behind our backs and we hear what they are saying from someone else and I know you must be hurt cause I am too.
Posted by Christine | May 12, 2008 6:47 AM
im not sure if my bff is talkin bhind my back so this is really good info of how to deal with it just in case she is
thx that can make life easier everyone good luck with this
Posted by Sarah | May 17, 2008 10:11 PM