Is it bad to turn down a guy because you dont find him physically attractive @ all or is that just horrible?
This one's from Grace and she said it was ok for me to post the answer here for those who have the same question. She also said "There are of course other factors that I am considering but this one bothers me. That has 2 sound shallow but...its true."
I'm curious as to what the other factors are. If you really know the guy and it's not just the attraction factor then it's a different story. But if he could be a good guy and the physical is keeping you from finding out, then you need to give him a chance...assuming you're dating for the right reasons. That's a big assumption and I could go off on a whole big rant about dating but I'll stick to your question and try to just answer that well. Since God says it's the heart of a person that's more important than the outward appearance, we should hold that view ourselves and try to see what people are really like without assuming a physical attraction or lack of such will tell us all we need to know. I have plenty of friends who were immediately attracted to the guy they wound up dating, or even marrying, only to find out that guy didn't have the qualities that really mattered to them in the long run. It happened to me with a guy I dated in college and it's the one relationship I wish I could go back and undo. In the end it wasn't worth it at all. Too much Hollywood has given us the impression that love happens right away and that a strong physical attraction is the key ingredient to a long lasting relationship. Not true. That same Hollywood is full of attractive couples with off-the-charts physical chemistry who have gone on to ruin, or nearly ruin, each others' lives. Lasting attraction happens over time as we really get to know someone. Infatuation often happens immediately and disappears over time.
So if you're ready to date (not just looking for a make-out partner) and you want to date a quality guy, you need to give him a chance and see what he's really like before deciding whether or not he's worth it. Good guys with Godly character become more and more attractive the longer you know them, but you can't see someone's true character by looking at their outsides.
