Featured Articletag:www.virtuousreality.com,2008:/articles//42008-07-01T17:41:46ZMovable Type 3.34Texting Godtag:www.virtuousreality.com,2008:/articles//4.3372008-07-01T06:05:00Z2008-07-01T17:41:46ZDo you ever wonder if God is listening? Do you ever feel like you’re not getting a response after praying, only to assume He’s taking voice mail and doesn't really want to return the call? You may have even had...Michele Armstronghttp://www.virtuoousreality.comDo you ever wonder if God is listening? Do you ever feel like you’re not getting a response after praying, only to assume He’s taking voice mail and doesn't really want to return the call? You may have even had the following thought: What's up God? I've left messages, sent texts, short e-mail like prayers all day, and still no response! Are You ever gonna answer me?
What about this: Have you ever wondered if your friend is upset or, the nerve, busy the very moment you call or text simply because an immediate response did not follow? Or, what about when a call goes strait to voice mail, do you ever wonder if it will be ignored, deleted or even checked?
In our world of immediate response through e-mail, texting and IMing, we have adapted to a lifestyle of instant everything; Answer the phone. Answer the text. Answer the e-mail. We then expect God to do the same. And when He doesn’t answer immediately, we become unsure about our relationship with Him. I mean, when a friend doesn’t text or call back immediately, we automatically think they don’t care or are too busy to be our friend.
But that’s the problem with being human; we think God acts like us. We often assume that along with our busy schedules with sports, school, friends, youth group and the like, that God does the same. We become insecure and think that God is just too busy for us. And, if we don’t get the response we want, we begin to wonder if the message is even getting to Him at all. I Peter 3:12 states that, “…the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their prayer.” But why do we doubt?
God doesn’t live according to our microwave, instant-everything world. I mean, which would you prefer: a quick text message or a long talk with your best friend when things get rough? It’s the same way with Jesus. He wants to spend time with us, not just “texting” prayers back and forth.
Psalm 46:10 declares “Be still and know that I am God.” Maybe God likes the idea of waiting on Him (for a response) because He knows what it will do for us. That kind of waiting teaches us all the good stuff (like patience, humility and compassion) that we might not want to learn. He wants us to slow down, sit for awhile and really talk to Him.
For instance, you send God a prayer about a guy you like: “God, does Jason like me? Is this going to be a good thing?” No response, at least not right away. So, what’s a girl to do in the meantime? Do you take the silence as a thumbs up to go ahead and do what you want? Or maybe the silence is to teach you to wait. Wait a few more days or weeks, and keep praying. What if it turns out that not being with this guy is the best thing for you? You could have made a bad decision because you sent God a “text” prayer and he didn’t respond with a “text” right away.
Being still with God will build a sweet relationship that every girl needs. Through that relationship you will find answers to all your prayers. They might not come when you want them to, but God is in the business of making you more like His son, Jesus, rather than simply passing out instant messages. He loves you so much that He would have you wait for the right answer, every time.
Girls love to talk, and God loves to listen. Say goodbye to text message praying and hello to a dialog with the One True Living God. From God - I hear ya/BTW/I luv u!
Written by Natalie Witcher
About the Author: If waxy chocolate donuts were a food group, Natalie would be the first to make them part of every meal. But, since they aren’t, she’ll keep her head about her and “feast” on what truly is important—the Word of God. She is a mom of three and a wife of one. She’s a friend, mentor, movie lover and is convinced that when ever a lazy thunderstorm rolls in that God ordered it just for her. Raising her own girls gives her a front row seat to watching God do great things in the lives of great girls! She prays that every girl reading this online magazine will find everything they need in Christ!Author Links
Natalie Witcher @ Blogspot
Stiletto Army @ Blogspot
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Don't give me that BULL!tag:www.virtuousreality.com,2008:/articles//4.3342008-06-02T20:52:49Z2008-06-03T00:35:08Z "They exchanged their Glory for an image of a bull, which eats grass. They forgot the God who saved them, who had done great things in Egypt." [Psalm 106:20-21] Reminding us of a time when the children of Israel...Michele Armstronghttp://www.virtuoousreality.com"They exchanged their Glory for an image of a bull, which eats grass. They forgot the God who saved them, who had done great things in Egypt." [Psalm 106:20-21]
Reminding us of a time when the children of Israel turned their backs on God, Psalms 106 paints a scene all too familiar. If you know the story, you know that God miraculously delivered them out of slavery. He parted the Red Sea for the children of Israel to escape, and then used that same body of water to drown the army that was pursuing them. Moses then proceeded up the mountain to receive the laws (from God) by which they were to live. It was during this 40-day period, while Moses was on the mountain with God, that the children of Israel began worshipping a bull. In choosing not to trust in His promises, they had forgotten all the great things that God had done.
It’s so easy for us to look back at the children of Israel and think, how could they? I mean, he was only gone for 40 days. That’s just over a month. How could they forget all the miraculous things that God had done in such a short period?
Are we really any different?
Are you as close to God now - as you were when you first gave your life to Him? As the anticipation mounds for youth camp or a missions trip this summer, how long will it be before you forget your experience and resign it only to a photograph posted on Facebook or an entry in your journal? How long will it be before you resign to the thought, one person can’t make a difference, I might as well not even try?
You don’t have to exchange your Glory for the bull! Now you may be thinking, do you really think I would bow down to a bull? No, I don’t. But, I do believe that we allow things of this world and in our lives to take the place of our God. Here are a few examples of what this might look like practically:
She exchanged her Glory for a boyfriend, who “loves” her with a selfish, imperfect love.
She exchanged her Glory for popularity, which will cause her to seek the approval of others rather than the approval of God.
She exchanged her Glory for pursuit of physical beauty, which will leave her insecure and in a perpetual state of comparing herself with others.
She exchanged her Glory for an intimate relationship, which will leave her emotionally scarred, with a sense of worthlessness and could even lead to pregnancy, disease or even infertility.
Can you hear Him saying, “Don’t give Me that bull, that boyfriend, those friendships or anything else – absolutely nothing can take MY place in your life?” How often do we find ourselves looking away from God and to the things around us for comfort, for healing, for happiness and joy, and even for saving? Having a boyfriend, friends or even a social life are not bad things; however, when they begin to replace God in our life, it reveals our lack of trust in Him.
Let’s make a new commitment today to keep God in His rightful place in our lives!
Written By: Cheryl Adams
Millen, Georgia
Visit Cheryl Online]]>
Emotional Maturitytag:www.virtuousreality.com,2008:/articles//4.3222008-05-01T06:05:00Z2008-05-19T20:44:44ZA man who loves others well is a man who understands the Biblical premise of esteeming another person more important than oneself (Phil. 2:3). A man who assumes that the whole world revolves around him is a man who will...Michele Armstronghttp://www.virtuoousreality.comA man who loves others well is a man who understands the Biblical premise of esteeming another person more important than oneself (Phil. 2:3). A man who assumes that the whole world revolves around him is a man who will love miserably and will probably be the poster child for the local tribe of BOZO GUYS!!!
I know that living in a self-enthralled, navel gazing haze is not limited to the male gender. It just seems that the twenty-first century has increased the number of men who think such behavior is normal. The Me Generation has not left very much room for a Man Worth Waiting For (MWWF) to even rent space here on earth. Our planet seems to be over-populated with BOZO guys running in packs and encouraging the next generation to follow in their self-enthralled footsteps.
As we begin to look at the emotional lives of a Boaz (reference to the story of Ruth) and Bozo, I want to mention three deal breakers in male-female relationships. These qualities, if disregarded, will set a man and woman on an inevitable collision course with reality – and they may never recover from it. Women can side step a lifetime of unhappiness by merely being aware of these deal breakers and evaluating their boyfriends honestly. Incidentally, I got these ideas from a modern Boaz!
A MWWF has a growing relationship with Jesus and isn’t just good at the Christian verbal dance
A MWWF doesn’t abuse substances or people
A MWWF has personality quirks, but they’re ones you can live with for a lifetime
Because so many women disregard these three basic requirements, counseling practices are full and ministries have developed to work specifically with women who are suffering in fatally flawed relationships. A good friend of mine started a ministry called WAR (Women at Rest), which is for women who are spiritually mismatched. She teaches them how to face the daily battles that a spiritually unbalanced couple faces. When a woman ignores the deal breakers, she can count on frequent conflict, if not war, with her partner.
An Emotional Yardstick
We are going to look at different characteristics of emotional health, comparing the emotional instability of the Bozo and the growing emotional maturity of the Man Worth Waiting For. We’ll consider the negative Bozo quality first, followed by the contrasting positive quality of a Boaz.
Qualities of a Bozo
is controlled by his emotions
believes he is entitled
doesn’t notice others’ needs
is quick to criticize others
has a high opinion of himself
lacks integrity
Qualities of a Boaz
is patient and self controlled [Proverbs 16:32; James 1:19; Matthew 12:34]
can raise above disappointment and frustration [Isaiah 26:3]
focuses on others [Phil. 2:3-4; Matthew 20:28]
is tolerant of flaws (not criticizing or judging others)
has a humble, open heart and mind [Micah 6:8]
is a classic example of integrity
To a man of integrity, noble character in a woman makes her ‘simply irresistible.’
You tell us! When considering the premier signs of emotional maturity, which one is the most significant to you?About the Author
Jackie Kendall, president of Power to Grow Ministries, is a nationally sought after speaker to all ages. She has authored Lady in Waiting, The Mentoring Mom and a devotional, Say Goodbye to Shame. In addition, Jackie is currently booked with LifeWay’s You and Your Girl conferences with Vicki Courtney. Check out Jackie Online!
*Excerp used with permission by Jackie Kendall, from A Man Worth Waiting For. Copyright 2008, FaithWords Publishing.
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Keeping me puretag:www.virtuousreality.com,2008:/articles//4.3092008-03-24T06:06:00Z2008-03-24T02:48:28Z What you always wanted to know about being a virgin… Virgin. I always thought it was just a record label, but it’s actually lots more. It is a decision, a conviction, and a lifestyle. And believe me, it can...Michele Armstronghttp://www.virtuoousreality.com What you always wanted to know about being a virgin…
Virgin. I always thought it was just a record label, but it’s actually lots more. It is a decision, a conviction, and a lifestyle. And believe me, it can be difficult!! There has never been a more sexually aware generation than this one. Plenty of people will want to take the gift of virginity from you before you marry, but you don’t have to give in. You do have a choice, and it’s a choice you aren’t making alone.
I am 27 and a virgin. As I said, being a virgin until marriage is a lifestyle, and I have had to make some important lifestyle decisions to remain a virgin for this long. Signing a piece of paper or wear a purity ring is great, but keeping your virginity takes more than that. As with everything in life, it’s the small choices that make the big difference. So here are a few simple ways to help you with the promise you’ve made to yourself, your parents, God and your future husband.
1. Know Why You Want to be a Virgin Until You’re Married
Is it just because you are afraid of an STD or pregnancy? Is it because you’re afraid of your parents (perhaps a little fear here is okay)? Those reasons will not seem that important in the heat of the moment. Personally, I want to have sex with only one person in my life because I believe it is a very sacred and love-filled experience; I want to show myself faithful to God and my future husband - so I wait. I remain pure because of God’s desire for my life to be pure and a reflection of who He is. “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own…” (1 Corinthians 6:19).
2. Be careful little eyes….
Be mindful of the movies and shows you choose to watch, or even of the music you listen to. Not only do you want to stay away from pornography, but you want to guard your heart (your eyes and ears too) of things like lust and love showcased in scenes with nudity, sexual acts, talk of sex and the like. If you allow yourself to constantly be exposed to such images and lifestyles, you will begin to tolerate such behavior and eventually accept it. Just because Hollywood produces it - doesn’t mean you have to watch it.
3. Dress to be PURE.
It’s not bad to look or feel beautiful, just don’t flaunt it. To spell it out, NO cleavage, short-shorts or skirts, exposed bellies, and no one wants to see your g-string sticking out of your hipster jeans…just remember that girls!!!
4. Declare a No-Zone!
Here’s the deal: going past first base is a no-zone! This should be discussed with your parents as well as with your boyfriend so that boundaries are set in regards to the physical aspect of your relationship. The further you go, the harder it is to stop the progression. The no-zone should at least include everything between the neck and knees – having this set will help you focus your attention on the emotional, mental and spiritual connection in the relationship rather than physical lust. Another thought too, would you want your future husband fooling around with others girl? How would he feel about you fooling around with other guys?
5. DDD: Don’t Date Dofuses!!
When you get to know someone in a dating relationship, you will learn pretty quickly what exactly they believe in not by their words, but by their behavior. You shouldn’t settle for someone who simply tolerates your beliefs – but rather personally accepts them as well. If they don’t, BREAK UP. Why waste your time? Don’t you want to be dating someone who respects and lives by the same standards you do?
6. Make Sure People Are Around
Being alone (i.e. on a dark secluded beach where there’s no one in sight) is far too tempting for even the most zealous virgin. So if you go to the beach, be sure it’s a busy one. Only be at home when others are home too. Plan your time together so it is exciting - do coffee, go to dinner, TALK - then you won’t think about fooling around.
7. Birds of a Feather
Hang out with friends who have the same standards and morals. You’ll have positive peer pressure to remain pure. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).
Determine that sex is something you will only experience with one person in your life and when it does happen (i.e. the wedding night), it will be the best thing you’ve ever done - no regrets, no disappointments, just 100% pure love as God intended.
Written by: Sarah Carter; copyright virtuousreality.com
She is the author of “Single Christian Female” and a motivational speaker for youth.
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Mindfultag:www.virtuousreality.com,2008:/articles//4.3062008-03-17T06:05:00Z2008-03-17T03:33:43Z“The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard....Michele Armstronghttp://www.virtuoousreality.com“The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world[Psalm 19:1-4]."
I cannot count the number of times I’ve been driving right before sunset, and the sky is bursting with hues of orange, pink, purple and blue. When I take time to see my surroundings in the flat lands of Texas, I am blown away by the Glory of God.
Recently, my sister and I drove from Seattle to Dallas, Texas. We drove in a silver Honda Civic halfway across the U.S. (and we hardly fought! Sorry, I had to mention it because that’s an accomplishment for a 3-day road trip.) Mountains formed a natural wall around the highways we drove; puffy clouds casted shadows on bright green fields; and at the Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs, we saw rock formation that boggled our minds. How they still stand and were created is beyond me!
As we drove through eight states, I quieted my thoughts and soaked up the earth and sky around me. This God-sparked thought came to me, it said, “Look at the world I created. It is grand. You are smaller than the rock at the bottom of these mountains, yet I am mindful of you.” It was a really paraphrased scripture for Psalm 8:3-5, “When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.”
When I compare myself with the majesty of nature, it can be quite a humbling experience. The world no longer revolves around my daily activity. Suddenly, the fragility and pixel-likeness of my existence becomes a reality I have to stare in the face. I like how God made us quite a bit smaller than our surroundings. We’re already prone to being self-focused. I think if we were a somewhat larger breed of human beings, then our egos might be the same – which can’t be good. This is why I love our smallness compared to God’s grand work: his expansive sky, his great plains, and his massive mountains and oceans.
It’s been a few weeks since the trip, and how quickly my “schedule” has taken over and thoughts of my humble existence and God’s mindfulness toward mankind are on the back burner of my thought life. To say the least, my egocentric world consumes my day. The mountains that once made me feel tiny are replaced with projects, homework, traffic and a long list of to-dos.
I may live in a flat Dallas suburb, but the sky is still here. And, those Texas sunsets remind me of God’s glory, and so does Scripture. The hues in the Bible are breath taking much like the sunsets. Both of them are works of His hand and heart. Thank you for caring about me, Lord, thank you so very much for being mindful of man. It is real in nature and in your Word to man.
Written by: Michelle Parenteau; copyright virtuousreality.com]]>
Spring is in the air!tag:www.virtuousreality.com,2008:/articles//4.3032008-03-10T06:07:42Z2008-03-10T17:12:17ZIt’s that time again! Time for kites and bikes, rain showers, blooming flowers and sunny afternoons. Spring is in the air! The season of change, spring is a natural time of rejuvenation, rebirth and growth. As a prelude to summer,...Michele Armstronghttp://www.virtuoousreality.comIt’s that time again! Time for kites and bikes, rain showers, blooming flowers and sunny afternoons. Spring is in the air!
The season of change, spring is a natural time of rejuvenation, rebirth and growth. As a prelude to summer, spring is a time of refreshment and a time to enjoy God’s creation. But where did all those “spring traditions” come from? How did spring cleaning and spring break become annual destinations in our schedules? Or what about bunnies, colored eggs and spring fashions?
Well, we’ve got your questions answered! We are all about spring and are ready to celebrate.
Spring Cleaning
How did spring-cleaning EVER become a tradition? Well, each year the Jewish people celebrate Passover to remember how God freed them from slavery. Exodus 12:1-15 is a great read regarding just how the Israelites prepare for this time. For seven days after Passover, each Jewish home was to be completely free of leaven (yeast). Leaven was the symbol of sin, and in removing it from the home was symbolic of removing all sin from the heart. What better way to make sure that every speck of leaven was out of the house than by a thorough spring-cleaning?
This year as you do your spring-cleaning look for anything in your room that does not honor God: CD’s, magazines, books, etc. As you get rid of the dust and sweep out the dirt, sweep out anything else that might be a stumbling block in your life.
Spring Break
Like so much in our world, spring break originated with the ancient Greeks. As winter would lessen its chill, and thoughts turned to a new season and new life, Athens's elders took notice that a time to rejuvenate and to refresh one’s mind and spirit was needed.
The annual spring tradition was first recorded in the U.S. in 1936. The swim coach of Colgate University in Hamilton, New York, took his swim team to Fort Lauderdale, Florida to practice their sport at the Casino Pool. The Casino Pool was the first Olympic-size swimming pool built in Florida. The experience was so successful that the coach returned with his team the following year. Fort Lauderdale saw an opportunity and hosted the first College Coaches' Swim Forum in 1938. Thus, the mixture of large numbers of students and the beach had become “the thing to do.”
But no matter where your spring break takes you, whether it’s to the mountains for skiing, to the beach for some sun, or a week of sleeping in and re-organizing your closet, don’t forget to take some time and simply rest. After all, enjoy your time off!
Bunnies, Baskets, Chicks and Colored Eggs
Eggs, chicks, bunnies, and decorated baskets! What young child doesn’t love these traditions! Are Easter eggs and bunnies in the Bible? Maybe not, but where could these ideas have come from? When the early Christians began to give up certain foods for Lent, one food they stopped eating were eggs. When the feasting arrived, eggs were dyed red to remind people of the joy of Christ’s resurrection. Bunnies and chicks both symbolize new life and new beginnings. New life, the spiritual life that Jesus gives to those who believe in Him, is possible because of the miracle of Easter.
There are many traditions at Easter, but most have absolutely nothing to do with the true meaning of our celebration. This year, take some time to remember His death and His resurrection. For it is by this very act that we have new life in Him!
Spring Fashions
Have you seen the latest in spring fashions? Bright colors of yellows and greens seem all the rage this year. And who couldn’t resist a new outfit or two? Like many of us, Easter is always the perfect opportunity to sport something new (even if it is just a new pair of shoes)!
Did you know that very soon after Jesus’ resurrection, His followers began the custom of baptizing new believers the day before Easter? Those who were baptized wore new clothes to remind them of their new life in Christ. But beyond our outer clothing, Isaiah 61:10 reminds us that, “He has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness.” No only was the physical covering a reminder of our new life in Christ, but our spiritual covering is one that is lasting; for nothing can separate us from the love of God [Romans 8:38-39].
You tell us, what do you like most about spring?Written by: Vicki Parsons; copyright virtuousreality.com
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D2 from Katetag:www.virtuousreality.com,2008:/articles//4.2992008-03-03T06:05:00Z2008-03-03T01:23:43ZDear Diary, In a few months I will graduate from college and I will be out on my own. Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed about having my very own apartment with a built in window seat...Michele Armstronghttp://www.virtuoousreality.com
Written by: Kathryn Edwards; copyright virtuousreality.com
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Spring Cleaning Quiztag:www.virtuousreality.com,2008:/articles//4.2972008-02-25T06:05:00Z2008-02-25T01:49:05ZSpring cleaning is generally associated with the daunting task of cleaning and organizing your closets, fishing through old magazines and clothes that may have crept under the bed or even venturing up to the attic to find dust and old...Michele Armstronghttp://www.virtuoousreality.com
captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” But how?
Take the following quiz and find out how you score. After all, how much clutter is in your mind?
When you stub your toe, what four-letter word comes to mind?
a. OUCH
b. #@$!
When you get a trashy email, you. . .
a. Block the sender.
b. Click on it right away and explore its contents.
When you look in the mirror, do you see yourself as
a. Someone who is blessed by the grace of God.
b. Someone who is not pretty or cute enough.
One of your guy friends is about to tell a bad joke, you…
a. Get out of there fast!
b. Stay and listen.
When you wake up and get dressed for school, your first thought is….
a. I want to wear something fashionable and God-glorifying.
b. I want to wear something that fits tight and shows some curves.
Your best friend whispers to you, “Did you hear what Shawna did today?" How do you respond?
a. No, I don’t want to talk about her behind her back. She’s my friend.
b. No, give me the scoop!
What show would you rather watch?
a. Hannah Montana
b. MTV’s Real World
When you think about your crush, do you think about
a. How sweet, cute and Godly he is.
b. How good he looks in his best preppy outfit.
Quiz ScoringMostly a: Good for you! While no one is perfect, you seem to have a good grasp of keeping your thoughts in check, as well as how you act. But keep guard! Clutter has a way of building up if we allow even a small amount in!
Mostly b: I encourage you to take a look at how you can better reflect the character of Christ in all aspect of your life, including your thoughts. It's never too late if we ask for the Lord's help in becoming more like Him.
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Is your cell phone charging?tag:www.virtuousreality.com,2008:/articles//4.2892008-02-18T16:37:51Z2008-02-18T11:40:41ZRing. Ring. Ring. “Dad? I need your help! I just ran out of gas on my way to school. Can you….hello, helloooooooooo! Oh no! My battery’s dead! This is really not good…what am I going to do now?” I am...Michele Armstronghttp://www.virtuoousreality.com
For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-¬edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. (Hebrews 4:12-13)
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Fear of failure: The loser mythtag:www.virtuousreality.com,2008:/articles//4.2872008-02-11T12:00:00Z2008-02-11T09:14:47Z“Remember, failure is an event, not a person. When you stumble and fall (and you will from time to time), don’t stay down. Get up, learn from your mistakes, and go on: Everyday for the rest of your life, commit...Michele Armstronghttp://www.virtuoousreality.com
Remember, failure is an event, not a person. When you stumble and fall (and you will from time to time), don’t stay down. Get up, learn from your mistakes, and go on: Everyday for the rest of your life, commit and trust your life and way to God and He will be with you every step of the way.” Dick Innis, ACTS International
Have you ever failed a biology test or even a spelling quiz? What about driver’s ed? Have you ever disappointed your parents or friends to the point that you simply wanted to crawl under your bed and hide for six months? Get this:
Failure is NOT a person! Webster tells us that failure means to “fall short of success or achievement in something expected, attempted, desired, or approved.”
Whew-Hoo! How often do we fail to remember this simple (but outrageous) fact? Who I am is not dependant upon what I do. And while the two are usually coupled, they are truly not exclusive.
Moreover, in examining how failure is defined within my own expectations and standards in life, I realize that I am always falling short of being perfect. Annoying yes, but also very realistic. In school, I always strived for that perfect 4.0 GPA; trying effortlessly to receive a perfect score on every assignment (often times overlooking the very essence or purpose of the paper or project). During my senior year of high school, a mentor reminded me that grades did not ultimately define or reflect on me as a student. This was freeing, but I was still bothered with my own lack-of-performance and inabilities.
For some reason, it seems that failure is failure, no matter how big or small the situation or issue at hand. I admit I often forget that I am a fallen human for whom failure and mistake is inevitable; I am not perfect. In the words of Billy Joel, “you’re only human!”
Interestingly enough, the Bible is full of examples of self-viewed failures God used to further His purpose. Moses stuttered, yet led the Israelites out of Egypt; David was shorter and weaker than his brothers, but became one of the most important kings in history; Gideon was a cowardly man hiding in a winepress when God chose him to defeat the Mideanites; Jesus selected 12 guys, mainly fishermen, to be His disciples who were hardly society’s elite; Matthew was a despised tax collector; Peter denied Jesus three times even though he swore he would never fall away - and Jesus still entrusted the foundation of the Church to him.
So why does God choose to use failures? I honestly don’t know: all I know is that He does. After all, His ways and His thoughts are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:9). Then again, what is failure? Making mistakes? Falling short? The ultimate failure was Adam and Eve’s sin that affected all humanity and led to Jesus’ death on the cross. Yet, God still loves us unconditionally. Despite our imperfections, we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). Our identity is therefore not based on what we do or accomplish, but rather in Christ alone.
The truth of the matter is that there are many things we cannot control; as a result, we tend to criticize ourselves for not having the power to overcome. The famous preacher Charles Swindoll once said that life “is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.” This means that even though we won’t always succeed or do well at everything, we do have the choice to learn from our mistakes and try not to repeat them. We can either move forward or wallow in self-pity. My biggest fear is failure, which can be quite overwhelming and paralyzing if I allow it.
I confess that my tendency is to engage in negative thinking when I experience failure and I sometimes feel like a loser. I hate making mistakes and not succeeding, which is due in part to my perfectionist and pessimistic mindset (as well as feeding into negative comments made by others). My prayer, however, is that God renews my mind and helps me to think more positively. It is how we deal with failure - I try to remember - that will determine our progression. Failure, in fact, can sometimes be a blessing as it keeps us humble, reminds us that we are not perfect and that we need God’s strength and grace every day.
Life is full of disappointment and failure. But as William Bolitho, the late author of Twelve Against the Gods said: “The most important thing in life is not to capitalize on our gains. Any fool can do that. The really important thing is to profit from your losses. That requires intelligence, and it makes the difference between a man of sense and a fool.”
What's your biggest fear of failure?
Written by: Dahlia Liwsze; copyright virtuousreality.com]]>
Do you love me?tag:www.virtuousreality.com,2008:/articles//4.2852008-02-04T12:00:00Z2008-02-04T10:18:27ZHave you ever noticed people are always asking this question, “Do you love me?” You may not hear people rattling off the question every second. I’m not talking about verbally asking someone, but asking through actions. Take these cases for...Michele Armstronghttp://www.virtuoousreality.comHave you ever noticed people are always asking this question, “Do you love me?” You may not hear people rattling off the question every second. I’m not talking about verbally asking someone, but asking through actions.
Take these cases for instance: Ever bought a cute outfit to get a guy’s attention? Ever tried out for something you didn’t really like all that much but tried out because it was the cool thing to do at the time? Ever go further with a boyfriend or guy friend just to feel like you were loved and accepted? Ever join in gossip to feel like you were a part of the group? Then you’ve subconsciously asked these questions, “Do you love me?” or “Do I have your attention?” or “Do you accept me?”
People are born with the natural desire to be loved and to love. It’s really interesting to observe the lengths and risks humanity will take just to feel loved and accepted. We will go into debt to get the car or the clothes or the next cell phone. We will risk our hearts in relationships we know we should NOT be in. We will do pretty much anything to satisfy the void in our hearts for love. What concerns me is people will go to great lengths for a fix (I say this because I’m human, and I know what risks I will take to fill the emptiness in my being).
How long does the love last in the instances I mentioned above? Six months later, the perfect outfit to grab your crush’s attention is now in a Goodwill pile. One week later, the gossip you spilt has caused more strife and anger among your friends than acceptance. Two days later, your boyfriend who you thought was committed breaks up with you. You are left with a broken heart, and the void in your heart has become some sort of black hole, a considerably larger chasm than before.
Consider the cure: "This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life” (John 3:16, MSG). You remember the emptiness in your heart begging to be filled with unchanging love and acceptance? God is the only one who can fill the black hole in your heart, sounds impossible, right? Nothing is impossible for the One who designed the Black Hole with his own hands and creativity.
John 3:16 is often over used, and so it can lose its meaning through all its repetition. Have you ever stopped to really think about it though? Have you ever thought about how much God loves you and the world?
Generations upon generations have passed through this space and time on earth, and God loves them all. If I think about it, I can really only love a few people because my capacity to know people and love them is limited as a human being; but God can love the all the earth, not just a few here or there.
If His capacity to love is both grand and mind-boggling, then imagine what God’s incredible love can do to the black holes in our souls? Your heart may be crying out, “Do you love me?” Your Heavenly Father’s saying, “I love you, my sweet child, with my entire being.”
Before I end this article, I wanted to share a poem by Jessica, in regards to God’s love for us. Sit back, relax, and soak up the words.
Love, Dad
You were formed
By My hands.
No one knows you
Better than I.
Every freckle, each scar.
The smallest speckle of
Blue in your eyes.
I made them all.
I Am beautiful,
So why would I make
You ugly, stupid, or anything less than perfect?
You are My image.
Consider the lilies of the field.
They are all alike,
But you are unique and
Special to Me.
Not one is like you,
You are who you are.
No evil can come from
My hands.
You are My flower,
My angel,
My princess,
My little girl.
Your smile brightens the
Sun in the morning.
Let it shine all the time
To others.
Let them know My love,
And all the while,
Know and believe that
Daddy loves you.
All my love,
Dad
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Anorexia: A First Hand Accounttag:www.virtuousreality.com,2008:/articles//4.2812008-01-28T06:06:00Z2008-01-28T01:58:31Z“We’re afraid for you, Katherine,” were first words I heard from my mother as she peered from the doorway. “Please come in here.” There was no question in my mind as to what they wanted to discuss. My dad was...Michele Armstronghttp://www.virtuoousreality.com“We’re afraid for you, Katherine,” were first words I heard from my mother as she peered from the doorway. “Please come in here.”
There was no question in my mind as to what they wanted to discuss. My dad was sitting on the couch. My mother spoke first, “We can’t stick our head in the sand any longer. We have to call this what it is. Katherine, you are anorexic.”
Then my dad sunk his head and placed his hand on my back. “Lord,” he prayed, “Please open Katherine’s eyes to see the lies that she believes.”
Scared and exhausted, I stood up went into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. For the first time I saw the mere skeleton that I had become. A mixture of frightening emotions flooded my body, and all that I could do was stoop into a ball and sob. My mother embraced me. “I don’t want to live like this anymore!” I cried. God used their honest words to breathe warm truth over my frozen heart.
I sat privately in our den, opened my Bible and journal, and poured out my heart to God in a fashion that released fears in me that until that moment, I had not admitted to myself. My journal page read, “I’m so scared!” It was not a coincidence that God lead me to Isaiah 55:2: “Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.” His words pierced me.
You may be asking how does a Christian become anorexic? What led me to starving myself didn’t begin with merely the absence of calories and extensive exercising. My body was an outward expression of my spiritually starved heart.
My downward spiral began when I was nine. For many vain reasons I became obsessed with camouflaging myself to blend in - covering also my faith in Jesus Christ.
I worked very hard to be whoever my peers wanted me to be. I studied the lingo, music lyrics, clothes, and behaviors of my friends and mimicked their every move. I can still hear the whispers in my mind: ‘Do you really think that if anybody saw the real you that you’d have any friends? You better be careful, or you’ll lose them.’ Instead of taking in the Truth of Christ, I accepted the empty lies. No matter how skinny I got, my laboring did not satisfy.
It’s been five years since I lay, like a bag of bones, crying out to Jesus - He delivered me. Today, I hunger for His words and continuously ask His Spirit to search my heart. “I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you.”(Ephesians 1:18)
I will listen, will you?
Additional Reading
John 15:7, Psalm 139:23, Matthew 5:6
Background Info on Eating Disorders
Eating disorders account for over 3 million women nationwide, and 1 million men. Research suggests that 1% of teen girls between the ages of 10 and 20 are diagnosed with Anorexia; a number that equates to 1 in every 100 girls. In addition, 4% of teen girls - in the same age range - are diagnosed with Bulimia; a number that represents 4 in every 100 girls.
Age at Onset of Illness
86% report onset of illness by the age of 20
10% report onset at 10 years or younger
33% report onset between ages of 11-15
43% report onset between ages of 16-20
Duration of Illness
77% report duration from one to fifteen years
30% report duration from one to five years
31% report duration from six to ten years
16% report duration from eleven to fifteen years
It is estimated that six percent of serious cases die
Only 50% report being cured
Effects of Eating Disorders
Malnutrition
Dehydration
Ruptured stomach
Serious heart, kidney, and liver damage
Tooth/gum erosion
Tears of the esophagus
Depression
Low self-esteem
Shame and guilt
Impaired family and social relationships
Mood swings
Idea of Being Perfect
* Stats provided by: National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders and Anorexia Nervosa and Related Eating Disorders, Inc.
Written by: Katherine Thompson
Katherine Thompson is a kindergarten as well as Sunday school teacher. God did a miraculous work in her during her sophomore year of college by setting her free from the stronghold of Anorexia Nervosa. He used Christian people around her for guidance; however, what primarily opened her eyes was the power behind His written Word and allowing His Spirit to resonate His truth into her heart. ]]>
Wal-Mart Braintag:www.virtuousreality.com,2008:/articles//4.2802008-01-21T06:06:00Z2008-01-21T01:52:06Z“I hate the two-faced, but I love your clear-cut revelation. You’re my place of quiet retreat; I wait for your Word to renew me. Get out of my life, evildoers, so I can keep my God’s commands. Take my side...Michele Armstronghttp://www.virtuoousreality.com
I hate the two-faced, but I love your clear-cut revelation. You’re my place of quiet retreat; I wait for your Word to renew me. Get out of my life, evildoers, so I can keep my God’s commands. Take my side as you promised, I’ll live then for sure. Don’t disappoint all my grand hopes. Stick with me and I’ll be all right, I’ll give total allegiance to your definitions of life. Expose all those who drift away from your sayings; their casual idolatry is lethal. You reject earth’s wicked as so much rubbish; therefore I lovingly embrace everything you say. I shiver in awe before you; your decisions leave me speechless with reverence” [Psalm 119:113-120].
The other day I went to Wal-Mart with my family; but as the automatic doors flew open, I hesitated to walk into what looked like a tornado of shopping carts, people and product. As a very visual person, I can sometimes get visually over-stimulated with everything that’s going on around me. I kind of want to shut down like a computer or maybe just go into sleep mode when I enter establishments such as these; it’s as if I know I’m going to be attacked by products saying, “I’m the best one. Pick me!” and get run over by a mom on a mission with her shopping cart as her weapon.
This is why I coined the phrase, “Wal-Mart brain” (Sorry Mr. Walton). Whenever my thoughts are in a whirl or simply too consumed, Wal-Mart brain comes on scene. I’ve noticed that a case of Wal-Mart brain seems to most often make its presence when I have not taken the time to find my place of quiet retreat, God.
Usually, I have no defense for all the shopping-cart-like-messages darting through my mind. You know the sound of metal carts crashing together after they have been stranded in a deserted parking lot. These carts have tons of messages for me like, “Don’t forget all you have to do today”, “You’re not Godly”, “You’re a failure”, “So-and-so doesn’t like you”, “You should be this size”, “You are not going to wear that, are you?”, “You don’t deserve anything good”, “You know they don’t really care about you”, “Are you sure you believe in God?”, “Why do you live for something that’s invisible?”, “Are you sure you are a Christian?”
I’m sure you get my point. Put simply, there’s a lot of junk flying around in our thoughts. I believe the passage above in Psalm 119 gives us a clue on how it is possible to transform our minds from chaos to calm. The answer lies in this verse, “You’re my place of quiet retreat; I wait for your Word to renew me.”
What does this look like realistically? Well, it’s finding a place outside or in your room where you can be alone. It’s sitting down and catching your breath between classes, or even hanging out with friends (at school, church, home or whatever it may be). It’s telling those fleeting thoughts to be quiet and having a copy of the Scriptures by your side. It’s opening up that book and reading God’s definitions of life. It’s waiting for those Words to be real in your mind and in your heart. Then, it’s applying them to your life. It’s calming your Wal-Mart life and finding the calm in Him for He is your place of quiet retreat.
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Not Another Crush!tag:www.virtuousreality.com,2008:/articles//4.2762008-01-14T06:06:00Z2008-01-14T15:15:42ZAre you the girl in youth group who flirts at every chance she gets? Do you find yourself drooling over the new boy at school? Or even finds yourself scheming about your next crush victim or rather ‘flavor of the...Michele Armstronghttp://www.virtuoousreality.comAre you the girl in youth group who flirts at every chance she gets? Do you find yourself drooling over the new boy at school? Or even finds yourself scheming about your next crush victim or rather ‘flavor of the week’? Yes, I am talking to you. Yeah you, the girl with her hand on the mouse! Don’t even think about clicking out of this article. You’d better read it because it’s just for you!
Crushing and flirting. Admit it - not only do we know what they are, but have all entertained them once or twice (or maybe more)! While a little crush from time to time is perfectly normal, it can become hazardous to your health and well-being if it progresses. Ultimately, our heart and motive behind our thoughts need to be kept in check.
Crushes usually develop as a result of a great first impression (meaning the first time you meet someone) and an instant connection or attraction is sparked. Most of the time your palms get sweaty, your heart beats a little faster and your words somehow get caught up in your throat. But a crush has more to do with lust and infatuation and less with true love. And for most of the time, crushes often arise when the chance for a relationship is very slim.
This begs the questions, what are we so focused on anyway? In the grand scheme of life, crushes definitely don’t make the top ten. You don’t see many people on their deathbeds thinking about their crush…I know that’s extreme, but really…think about it. In your last days, are you going to think about your sixth grade crush? NO! Your thoughts will probably be about where you are about to go…the afterlife…heaven or hell???!!! My point is that the really important things in life don’t revolve around Chris, Trey, Mike, Stephen, Trevor, Kurt, Nate or even Shane.
If we, as virtuous girls, spent as much time with God as we do flirting and crushing, then we would be so in touch with the Father that our lives would overflow with His glory. I am a girl who has been through middle school and high school and has had over 52 crushes (just a guess - could be more, could be less). Believe me, once I graduated from the school of boy craziness I realized that there is so much more to life.
I know I can ramble on and on about how there is so much more to life than guys; you might even agree, even though it’s hard to. Magazines and T.V. don’t help us get over our crushes, and there’s nothing wrong with a crush here and there. But why does it have to consume our lives? Can’t we live lives devoted to thinking about God?
So who has your attention? Your crush or your Savior?
“Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” [Philippians 4:8]
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How to Stay Beautiful this New Year!tag:www.virtuousreality.com,2008:/articles//4.2752008-01-07T06:06:00Z2008-01-07T03:30:06ZDo you want beauty that lasts? Do you want beauty that’s worth more than diamonds or any other precious stone? A virtuous woman is worth more than rubies! (Proverbs 31:10) To be virtuous is to be beautiful! The world would...Michele Armstronghttp://www.virtuoousreality.comDo you want beauty that lasts? Do you want beauty that’s worth more than diamonds or any other precious stone? A virtuous woman is worth more than rubies! (Proverbs 31:10) To be virtuous is to be beautiful! The world would not agree, as beauty is judged on merely outward appearances - a standard nearly impossible to uphold (especially in the digital age when Photoshop is readily available and widely used). Have hope, there’s a beauty that goes beyond the reflection in the mirror.
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised!” (Proverbs 31:30) What beauty fades?!? Yes, Tyra Banks or Heidi Klum are not going to be making the big bucks in their careers at 80-years-old. The look that they have now is going to turn into something that the world does NOT value: saggy, gray, and wrinkled.
So how do we stay beautiful? How do we become virtuous? Fear the Lord, obey Him, trust Him, and love Him! “But seek first HIS KINGDOM and HIS RIGHTOUESNESS, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33). God supplies all our needs and when we seek Him first, he gives us an inner beauty that surpasses the worth of the most beautiful diamond. God’s beauty living in us is a loveliness that can only reach the heart.
It is so easy to fall into the dangerous trap of self-pity when you don’t look like a supermodel. Do you know the number one way to keep a positive view of yourself? Fix your eyes on Jesus! He deems you worthy and beautiful! That’s why he bore the cross and its shame. He sees both your potential and worth, so praise His Name! Stop suffering from low self-esteem, eating disorders, or other havoc you receive when you focus on the world’s standards of beauty. Focus on God and believe me, your perspective of beauty and yourself are sure to change.
In this New Year, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2).
Listen Up! Here's Lindsey Kane with “Measure of Beauty"
Additional Reading
Psalm 45:11
Song of Solomon 4:7
Psalm 139:14
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Do you ever wonder if God is listening? Do you ever feel like you’re not getting a response after praying, only to assume He’s taking voice mail and doesn't really want to return the call? You may have even had the following thought: What's up God? I've left messages, sent texts, short e-mail like prayers all day, and still no response! Are You ever gonna answer me?
What about this: Have you ever wondered if your friend is upset or, the nerve, busy the very moment you call or text simply because an immediate response did not follow? Or, what about when a call goes strait to voice mail, do you ever wonder if it will be ignored, deleted or even checked?
In our world of immediate response through e-mail, texting and IMing, we have adapted to a lifestyle of instant everything; Answer the phone. Answer the text. Answer the e-mail. We then expect God to do the same. And when He doesn’t answer immediately, we become unsure about our relationship with Him. I mean, when a friend doesn’t text or call back immediately, we automatically think they don’t care or are too busy to be our friend.
But that’s the problem with being human; we think God acts like us. We often assume that along with our busy schedules with sports, school, friends, youth group and the like, that God does the same. We become insecure and think that God is just too busy for us. And, if we don’t get the response we want, we begin to wonder if the message is even getting to Him at all. I Peter 3:12 states that, “…the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their prayer.” But why do we doubt?
God doesn’t live according to our microwave, instant-everything world. I mean, which would you prefer: a quick text message or a long talk with your best friend when things get rough? It’s the same way with Jesus. He wants to spend time with us, not just “texting” prayers back and forth.
Psalm 46:10 declares “Be still and know that I am God.” Maybe God likes the idea of waiting on Him (for a response) because He knows what it will do for us. That kind of waiting teaches us all the good stuff (like patience, humility and compassion) that we might not want to learn. He wants us to slow down, sit for awhile and really talk to Him.
For instance, you send God a prayer about a guy you like: “God, does Jason like me? Is this going to be a good thing?” No response, at least not right away. So, what’s a girl to do in the meantime? Do you take the silence as a thumbs up to go ahead and do what you want? Or maybe the silence is to teach you to wait. Wait a few more days or weeks, and keep praying. What if it turns out that not being with this guy is the best thing for you? You could have made a bad decision because you sent God a “text” prayer and he didn’t respond with a “text” right away.
Being still with God will build a sweet relationship that every girl needs. Through that relationship you will find answers to all your prayers. They might not come when you want them to, but God is in the business of making you more like His son, Jesus, rather than simply passing out instant messages. He loves you so much that He would have you wait for the right answer, every time.
Girls love to talk, and God loves to listen. Say goodbye to text message praying and hello to a dialog with the One True Living God. From God - I hear ya/BTW/I luv u!
Written by Natalie Witcher
About the Author: If waxy chocolate donuts were a food group, Natalie would be the first to make them part of every meal. But, since they aren’t, she’ll keep her head about her and “feast” on what truly is important—the Word of God. She is a mom of three and a wife of one. She’s a friend, mentor, movie lover and is convinced that when ever a lazy thunderstorm rolls in that God ordered it just for her. Raising her own girls gives her a front row seat to watching God do great things in the lives of great girls! She prays that every girl reading this online magazine will find everything they need in Christ!
Author Links
Natalie Witcher @ Blogspot
Stiletto Army @ Blogspot
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"They exchanged their Glory for an image of a bull, which eats grass. They forgot the God who saved them, who had done great things in Egypt." [Psalm 106:20-21]
Reminding us of a time when the children of Israel turned their backs on God, Psalms 106 paints a scene all too familiar. If you know the story, you know that God miraculously delivered them out of slavery. He parted the Red Sea for the children of Israel to escape, and then used that same body of water to drown the army that was pursuing them. Moses then proceeded up the mountain to receive the laws (from God) by which they were to live. It was during this 40-day period, while Moses was on the mountain with God, that the children of Israel began worshipping a bull. In choosing not to trust in His promises, they had forgotten all the great things that God had done.
It’s so easy for us to look back at the children of Israel and think, how could they? I mean, he was only gone for 40 days. That’s just over a month. How could they forget all the miraculous things that God had done in such a short period?
Are we really any different?
Are you as close to God now - as you were when you first gave your life to Him? As the anticipation mounds for youth camp or a missions trip this summer, how long will it be before you forget your experience and resign it only to a photograph posted on Facebook or an entry in your journal? How long will it be before you resign to the thought, one person can’t make a difference, I might as well not even try?
You don’t have to exchange your Glory for the bull! Now you may be thinking, do you really think I would bow down to a bull? No, I don’t. But, I do believe that we allow things of this world and in our lives to take the place of our God. Here are a few examples of what this might look like practically:
A man who loves others well is a man who understands the Biblical premise of esteeming another person more important than oneself (Phil. 2:3). A man who assumes that the whole world revolves around him is a man who will love miserably and will probably be the poster child for the local tribe of BOZO GUYS!!!
I know that living in a self-enthralled, navel gazing haze is not limited to the male gender. It just seems that the twenty-first century has increased the number of men who think such behavior is normal. The Me Generation has not left very much room for a Man Worth Waiting For (MWWF) to even rent space here on earth. Our planet seems to be over-populated with BOZO guys running in packs and encouraging the next generation to follow in their self-enthralled footsteps.
As we begin to look at the emotional lives of a Boaz (reference to the story of Ruth) and Bozo, I want to mention three deal breakers in male-female relationships. These qualities, if disregarded, will set a man and woman on an inevitable collision course with reality – and they may never recover from it. Women can side step a lifetime of unhappiness by merely being aware of these deal breakers and evaluating their boyfriends honestly. Incidentally, I got these ideas from a modern Boaz!
What you always wanted to know about being a virgin…
Virgin. I always thought it was just a record label, but it’s actually lots more. It is a decision, a conviction, and a lifestyle. And believe me, it can be difficult!! There has never been a more sexually aware generation than this one. Plenty of people will want to take the gift of virginity from you before you marry, but you don’t have to give in. You do have a choice, and it’s a choice you aren’t making alone.
I am 27 and a virgin. As I said, being a virgin until marriage is a lifestyle, and I have had to make some important lifestyle decisions to remain a virgin for this long. Signing a piece of paper or wear a purity ring is great, but keeping your virginity takes more than that. As with everything in life, it’s the small choices that make the big difference. So here are a few simple ways to help you with the promise you’ve made to yourself, your parents, God and your future husband.
1. Know Why You Want to be a Virgin Until You’re Married
Is it just because you are afraid of an STD or pregnancy? Is it because you’re afraid of your parents (perhaps a little fear here is okay)? Those reasons will not seem that important in the heat of the moment. Personally, I want to have sex with only one person in my life because I believe it is a very sacred and love-filled experience; I want to show myself faithful to God and my future husband - so I wait. I remain pure because of God’s desire for my life to be pure and a reflection of who He is. “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own…” (1 Corinthians 6:19).
2. Be careful little eyes….
Be mindful of the movies and shows you choose to watch, or even of the music you listen to. Not only do you want to stay away from pornography, but you want to guard your heart (your eyes and ears too) of things like lust and love showcased in scenes with nudity, sexual acts, talk of sex and the like. If you allow yourself to constantly be exposed to such images and lifestyles, you will begin to tolerate such behavior and eventually accept it. Just because Hollywood produces it - doesn’t mean you have to watch it.
3. Dress to be PURE.
It’s not bad to look or feel beautiful, just don’t flaunt it. To spell it out, NO cleavage, short-shorts or skirts, exposed bellies, and no one wants to see your g-string sticking out of your hipster jeans…just remember that girls!!!
4. Declare a No-Zone!
Here’s the deal: going past first base is a no-zone! This should be discussed with your parents as well as with your boyfriend so that boundaries are set in regards to the physical aspect of your relationship. The further you go, the harder it is to stop the progression. The no-zone should at least include everything between the neck and knees – having this set will help you focus your attention on the emotional, mental and spiritual connection in the relationship rather than physical lust. Another thought too, would you want your future husband fooling around with others girl? How would he feel about you fooling around with other guys?
5. DDD: Don’t Date Dofuses!!
When you get to know someone in a dating relationship, you will learn pretty quickly what exactly they believe in not by their words, but by their behavior. You shouldn’t settle for someone who simply tolerates your beliefs – but rather personally accepts them as well. If they don’t, BREAK UP. Why waste your time? Don’t you want to be dating someone who respects and lives by the same standards you do?
6. Make Sure People Are Around
Being alone (i.e. on a dark secluded beach where there’s no one in sight) is far too tempting for even the most zealous virgin. So if you go to the beach, be sure it’s a busy one. Only be at home when others are home too. Plan your time together so it is exciting - do coffee, go to dinner, TALK - then you won’t think about fooling around.
7. Birds of a Feather
Hang out with friends who have the same standards and morals. You’ll have positive peer pressure to remain pure. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).
Determine that sex is something you will only experience with one person in your life and when it does happen (i.e. the wedding night), it will be the best thing you’ve ever done - no regrets, no disappointments, just 100% pure love as God intended.
Written by: Sarah Carter; copyright virtuousreality.com
She is the author of “Single Christian Female” and a motivational speaker for youth.
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“The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world[Psalm 19:1-4]."
I cannot count the number of times I’ve been driving right before sunset, and the sky is bursting with hues of orange, pink, purple and blue. When I take time to see my surroundings in the flat lands of Texas, I am blown away by the Glory of God.
Recently, my sister and I drove from Seattle to Dallas, Texas. We drove in a silver Honda Civic halfway across the U.S. (and we hardly fought! Sorry, I had to mention it because that’s an accomplishment for a 3-day road trip.) Mountains formed a natural wall around the highways we drove; puffy clouds casted shadows on bright green fields; and at the Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs, we saw rock formation that boggled our minds. How they still stand and were created is beyond me!
As we drove through eight states, I quieted my thoughts and soaked up the earth and sky around me. This God-sparked thought came to me, it said, “Look at the world I created. It is grand. You are smaller than the rock at the bottom of these mountains, yet I am mindful of you.” It was a really paraphrased scripture for Psalm 8:3-5, “When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.”
When I compare myself with the majesty of nature, it can be quite a humbling experience. The world no longer revolves around my daily activity. Suddenly, the fragility and pixel-likeness of my existence becomes a reality I have to stare in the face. I like how God made us quite a bit smaller than our surroundings. We’re already prone to being self-focused. I think if we were a somewhat larger breed of human beings, then our egos might be the same – which can’t be good. This is why I love our smallness compared to God’s grand work: his expansive sky, his great plains, and his massive mountains and oceans.
It’s been a few weeks since the trip, and how quickly my “schedule” has taken over and thoughts of my humble existence and God’s mindfulness toward mankind are on the back burner of my thought life. To say the least, my egocentric world consumes my day. The mountains that once made me feel tiny are replaced with projects, homework, traffic and a long list of to-dos.
I may live in a flat Dallas suburb, but the sky is still here. And, those Texas sunsets remind me of God’s glory, and so does Scripture. The hues in the Bible are breath taking much like the sunsets. Both of them are works of His hand and heart. Thank you for caring about me, Lord, thank you so very much for being mindful of man. It is real in nature and in your Word to man.
Written by: Michelle Parenteau; copyright virtuousreality.com]]>
It’s that time again! Time for kites and bikes, rain showers, blooming flowers and sunny afternoons. Spring is in the air!
The season of change, spring is a natural time of rejuvenation, rebirth and growth. As a prelude to summer, spring is a time of refreshment and a time to enjoy God’s creation. But where did all those “spring traditions” come from? How did spring cleaning and spring break become annual destinations in our schedules? Or what about bunnies, colored eggs and spring fashions?
Well, we’ve got your questions answered! We are all about spring and are ready to celebrate.
Spring Cleaning
How did spring-cleaning EVER become a tradition? Well, each year the Jewish people celebrate Passover to remember how God freed them from slavery. Exodus 12:1-15 is a great read regarding just how the Israelites prepare for this time. For seven days after Passover, each Jewish home was to be completely free of leaven (yeast). Leaven was the symbol of sin, and in removing it from the home was symbolic of removing all sin from the heart. What better way to make sure that every speck of leaven was out of the house than by a thorough spring-cleaning?
This year as you do your spring-cleaning look for anything in your room that does not honor God: CD’s, magazines, books, etc. As you get rid of the dust and sweep out the dirt, sweep out anything else that might be a stumbling block in your life.
Spring Break
Like so much in our world, spring break originated with the ancient Greeks. As winter would lessen its chill, and thoughts turned to a new season and new life, Athens's elders took notice that a time to rejuvenate and to refresh one’s mind and spirit was needed.
The annual spring tradition was first recorded in the U.S. in 1936. The swim coach of Colgate University in Hamilton, New York, took his swim team to Fort Lauderdale, Florida to practice their sport at the Casino Pool. The Casino Pool was the first Olympic-size swimming pool built in Florida. The experience was so successful that the coach returned with his team the following year. Fort Lauderdale saw an opportunity and hosted the first College Coaches' Swim Forum in 1938. Thus, the mixture of large numbers of students and the beach had become “the thing to do.”
But no matter where your spring break takes you, whether it’s to the mountains for skiing, to the beach for some sun, or a week of sleeping in and re-organizing your closet, don’t forget to take some time and simply rest. After all, enjoy your time off!
Bunnies, Baskets, Chicks and Colored Eggs
Eggs, chicks, bunnies, and decorated baskets! What young child doesn’t love these traditions! Are Easter eggs and bunnies in the Bible? Maybe not, but where could these ideas have come from? When the early Christians began to give up certain foods for Lent, one food they stopped eating were eggs. When the feasting arrived, eggs were dyed red to remind people of the joy of Christ’s resurrection. Bunnies and chicks both symbolize new life and new beginnings. New life, the spiritual life that Jesus gives to those who believe in Him, is possible because of the miracle of Easter.
There are many traditions at Easter, but most have absolutely nothing to do with the true meaning of our celebration. This year, take some time to remember His death and His resurrection. For it is by this very act that we have new life in Him!
Spring Fashions
Have you seen the latest in spring fashions? Bright colors of yellows and greens seem all the rage this year. And who couldn’t resist a new outfit or two? Like many of us, Easter is always the perfect opportunity to sport something new (even if it is just a new pair of shoes)!
Did you know that very soon after Jesus’ resurrection, His followers began the custom of baptizing new believers the day before Easter? Those who were baptized wore new clothes to remind them of their new life in Christ. But beyond our outer clothing, Isaiah 61:10 reminds us that, “He has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness.” No only was the physical covering a reminder of our new life in Christ, but our spiritual covering is one that is lasting; for nothing can separate us from the love of God [Romans 8:38-39].
You tell us, what do you like most about spring?
Written by: Vicki Parsons; copyright virtuousreality.com
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Have you ever noticed people are always asking this question, “Do you love me?” You may not hear people rattling off the question every second. I’m not talking about verbally asking someone, but asking through actions.
Take these cases for instance: Ever bought a cute outfit to get a guy’s attention? Ever tried out for something you didn’t really like all that much but tried out because it was the cool thing to do at the time? Ever go further with a boyfriend or guy friend just to feel like you were loved and accepted? Ever join in gossip to feel like you were a part of the group? Then you’ve subconsciously asked these questions, “Do you love me?” or “Do I have your attention?” or “Do you accept me?”
People are born with the natural desire to be loved and to love. It’s really interesting to observe the lengths and risks humanity will take just to feel loved and accepted. We will go into debt to get the car or the clothes or the next cell phone. We will risk our hearts in relationships we know we should NOT be in. We will do pretty much anything to satisfy the void in our hearts for love. What concerns me is people will go to great lengths for a fix (I say this because I’m human, and I know what risks I will take to fill the emptiness in my being).
How long does the love last in the instances I mentioned above? Six months later, the perfect outfit to grab your crush’s attention is now in a Goodwill pile. One week later, the gossip you spilt has caused more strife and anger among your friends than acceptance. Two days later, your boyfriend who you thought was committed breaks up with you. You are left with a broken heart, and the void in your heart has become some sort of black hole, a considerably larger chasm than before.
Consider the cure: "This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life” (John 3:16, MSG). You remember the emptiness in your heart begging to be filled with unchanging love and acceptance? God is the only one who can fill the black hole in your heart, sounds impossible, right? Nothing is impossible for the One who designed the Black Hole with his own hands and creativity.
John 3:16 is often over used, and so it can lose its meaning through all its repetition. Have you ever stopped to really think about it though? Have you ever thought about how much God loves you and the world?
Generations upon generations have passed through this space and time on earth, and God loves them all. If I think about it, I can really only love a few people because my capacity to know people and love them is limited as a human being; but God can love the all the earth, not just a few here or there.
If His capacity to love is both grand and mind-boggling, then imagine what God’s incredible love can do to the black holes in our souls? Your heart may be crying out, “Do you love me?” Your Heavenly Father’s saying, “I love you, my sweet child, with my entire being.”
Before I end this article, I wanted to share a poem by Jessica, in regards to God’s love for us. Sit back, relax, and soak up the words.
Love, Dad
You were formed
By My hands.
No one knows you
Better than I.
Every freckle, each scar.
The smallest speckle of
Blue in your eyes.
I made them all.
I Am beautiful,
So why would I make
You ugly, stupid, or anything less than perfect?
You are My image.
Consider the lilies of the field.
They are all alike,
But you are unique and
Special to Me.
Not one is like you,
You are who you are.
No evil can come from
My hands.
You are My flower,
My angel,
My princess,
My little girl.
Your smile brightens the
Sun in the morning.
Let it shine all the time
To others.
Let them know My love,
And all the while,
Know and believe that
Daddy loves you.
All my love,
Dad
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“We’re afraid for you, Katherine,” were first words I heard from my mother as she peered from the doorway. “Please come in here.”
There was no question in my mind as to what they wanted to discuss. My dad was sitting on the couch. My mother spoke first, “We can’t stick our head in the sand any longer. We have to call this what it is. Katherine, you are anorexic.”
Then my dad sunk his head and placed his hand on my back. “Lord,” he prayed, “Please open Katherine’s eyes to see the lies that she believes.”
Scared and exhausted, I stood up went into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. For the first time I saw the mere skeleton that I had become. A mixture of frightening emotions flooded my body, and all that I could do was stoop into a ball and sob. My mother embraced me. “I don’t want to live like this anymore!” I cried. God used their honest words to breathe warm truth over my frozen heart.
I sat privately in our den, opened my Bible and journal, and poured out my heart to God in a fashion that released fears in me that until that moment, I had not admitted to myself. My journal page read, “I’m so scared!” It was not a coincidence that God lead me to Isaiah 55:2: “Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.” His words pierced me.
You may be asking how does a Christian become anorexic? What led me to starving myself didn’t begin with merely the absence of calories and extensive exercising. My body was an outward expression of my spiritually starved heart.
My downward spiral began when I was nine. For many vain reasons I became obsessed with camouflaging myself to blend in - covering also my faith in Jesus Christ.
I worked very hard to be whoever my peers wanted me to be. I studied the lingo, music lyrics, clothes, and behaviors of my friends and mimicked their every move. I can still hear the whispers in my mind: ‘Do you really think that if anybody saw the real you that you’d have any friends? You better be careful, or you’ll lose them.’ Instead of taking in the Truth of Christ, I accepted the empty lies. No matter how skinny I got, my laboring did not satisfy.
It’s been five years since I lay, like a bag of bones, crying out to Jesus - He delivered me. Today, I hunger for His words and continuously ask His Spirit to search my heart. “I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you.”(Ephesians 1:18)
I will listen, will you?
Additional Reading
John 15:7, Psalm 139:23, Matthew 5:6
Background Info on Eating Disorders
Eating disorders account for over 3 million women nationwide, and 1 million men. Research suggests that 1% of teen girls between the ages of 10 and 20 are diagnosed with Anorexia; a number that equates to 1 in every 100 girls. In addition, 4% of teen girls - in the same age range - are diagnosed with Bulimia; a number that represents 4 in every 100 girls.
Age at Onset of Illness
Are you the girl in youth group who flirts at every chance she gets? Do you find yourself drooling over the new boy at school? Or even finds yourself scheming about your next crush victim or rather ‘flavor of the week’? Yes, I am talking to you. Yeah you, the girl with her hand on the mouse! Don’t even think about clicking out of this article. You’d better read it because it’s just for you!
Crushing and flirting. Admit it - not only do we know what they are, but have all entertained them once or twice (or maybe more)! While a little crush from time to time is perfectly normal, it can become hazardous to your health and well-being if it progresses. Ultimately, our heart and motive behind our thoughts need to be kept in check.
Crushes usually develop as a result of a great first impression (meaning the first time you meet someone) and an instant connection or attraction is sparked. Most of the time your palms get sweaty, your heart beats a little faster and your words somehow get caught up in your throat. But a crush has more to do with lust and infatuation and less with true love. And for most of the time, crushes often arise when the chance for a relationship is very slim.
This begs the questions, what are we so focused on anyway? In the grand scheme of life, crushes definitely don’t make the top ten. You don’t see many people on their deathbeds thinking about their crush…I know that’s extreme, but really…think about it. In your last days, are you going to think about your sixth grade crush? NO! Your thoughts will probably be about where you are about to go…the afterlife…heaven or hell???!!! My point is that the really important things in life don’t revolve around Chris, Trey, Mike, Stephen, Trevor, Kurt, Nate or even Shane.
If we, as virtuous girls, spent as much time with God as we do flirting and crushing, then we would be so in touch with the Father that our lives would overflow with His glory. I am a girl who has been through middle school and high school and has had over 52 crushes (just a guess - could be more, could be less). Believe me, once I graduated from the school of boy craziness I realized that there is so much more to life.
I know I can ramble on and on about how there is so much more to life than guys; you might even agree, even though it’s hard to. Magazines and T.V. don’t help us get over our crushes, and there’s nothing wrong with a crush here and there. But why does it have to consume our lives? Can’t we live lives devoted to thinking about God?
So who has your attention? Your crush or your Savior?
“Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” [Philippians 4:8]
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Do you want beauty that lasts? Do you want beauty that’s worth more than diamonds or any other precious stone? A virtuous woman is worth more than rubies! (Proverbs 31:10) To be virtuous is to be beautiful! The world would not agree, as beauty is judged on merely outward appearances - a standard nearly impossible to uphold (especially in the digital age when Photoshop is readily available and widely used). Have hope, there’s a beauty that goes beyond the reflection in the mirror.
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised!” (Proverbs 31:30) What beauty fades?!? Yes, Tyra Banks or Heidi Klum are not going to be making the big bucks in their careers at 80-years-old. The look that they have now is going to turn into something that the world does NOT value: saggy, gray, and wrinkled.
So how do we stay beautiful? How do we become virtuous? Fear the Lord, obey Him, trust Him, and love Him! “But seek first HIS KINGDOM and HIS RIGHTOUESNESS, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33). God supplies all our needs and when we seek Him first, he gives us an inner beauty that surpasses the worth of the most beautiful diamond. God’s beauty living in us is a loveliness that can only reach the heart.
It is so easy to fall into the dangerous trap of self-pity when you don’t look like a supermodel. Do you know the number one way to keep a positive view of yourself? Fix your eyes on Jesus! He deems you worthy and beautiful! That’s why he bore the cross and its shame. He sees both your potential and worth, so praise His Name! Stop suffering from low self-esteem, eating disorders, or other havoc you receive when you focus on the world’s standards of beauty. Focus on God and believe me, your perspective of beauty and yourself are sure to change.
In this New Year, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2).
Listen Up! Here's Lindsey Kane with “Measure of Beauty"
Additional Reading
Psalm 45:11
Song of Solomon 4:7
Psalm 139:14
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