A Year With Jesus

Let me tell you a little story about the last year of my life. It's been amazing, more than I could have imagined, and it never would have happened if I hadn't stepped out in faith to follow Jesus.

Once upon a time there was a girl named Jamie (nice to meet you) who worked at a church and tried and tried to do everything right and live a life that was good enough for...well for everyone actually. She would have said she was doing it for God but I think really she was doing it more for herself and public opinion than anything else. You see, it's always been important to her that people do the right thing, and she tried her best to do it herself as an example. The problem was that no matter how hard she tried she kept noticing that there was this junk in her soul that kept coming to the surface. So she would push it down and work harder. And the harder she worked to control herself and her life, the more frustrating it got because what Jamie didn't realize is that we have minimal control over ourselves in this life and absolutely none over anyone else. No matter how hard she tried to push down the bad and make herself perfect she never seemed to be gaining any ground and sometimes (horror of horrors) she actually seemed to be moving backward. Little issues that she thought she had dealt with already would rise to the surface at the worst possible times and take over until she thought that maybe... she might just be... hopeless. Maybe this was never going to work out for her. Maybe she wasn't actually the child of God she thought she was and she should just give up. (It was a lie but sometimes, when things are dark, it's hard to tell the lies from the truth).

Then in May of 2008 a miracle happened...except it didn't look like a miracle. Miracles sometimes start out looking like something regular or even bad, and at first this one just looked like loss. Loss of a job she had loved and a paycheck she counted on. Loss of some friends and a safety net that kept her life comfortable and easy...or so she thought. I should tell you that two of Jamie's favorite things about God is that He always knows her better than she knows herself, and He can always see what's really going on in her life and what needs to change in order for her to live the life He has planned for her. So early in 2008 Jesus whispered in her ear "Follow me" (an invitation He whispers to everyone He loves dearly) and for once she actually did just that. She stepped away from everything safe and comfortable and known and walked into the world with just His hand to hold and the smallest grain of faith that everything would be ok.

OK doesn't even begin to sum up the last year. I think the joy Jesus must feel when one of His kids finally decides to hand over their life and trust Him with the whole thing must just be skip-worthy. That's not a real word, but you know how it is when you're so happy about something that you have to jump around and skip to release some of the thrill? I think He must feel that way when we let go of our own dreams and expectations and grab His hand so He can show us His. Which is very much what it felt like when I stopped fighting Him and started following. It felt like we took off in a sprint so that He could show me new and exciting things. Things in the Dominican Republic, Mexico City, China, Belgium, Paris, and England. He introduced me to people, food, and cultures I never knew existed. He showed me Big Ben and the Eiffel Tower. We traveled on motos, trains, planes, buses, subways, and trams. And every step of the way, whether I was traveling alone or with friends, He was right there with me. Never in my life has His constant companionship been so incredibly real and joyful to me, and I finally understand that He is and will always be the love of my life. He is the only One in the world who can fill me up and make me whole. To expect that from anyone or anything else is ridiculous and futile. I know that the true Happily Ever After begins when this life is over and we step into the real one with Jesus, and that in this life there will be sorrow and suffering, but for the first time in my life I can honestly say that He, all by Himself, is more than enough for me. Nothing this world has to offer, from a husband and family to comfort, stuff or fame can ever be as satisfying as Jesus is to my soul.

My prayer for all of you is that you pursue Jesus with your whole hearts and don't give up until you find Him. He really does blow everything else out of the water.