Why I Waited

"There is a beautiful gift inside this package.
It's wrapped for protection; tied for security,
Stamped:'Fragile!'
'Handle With Care!'

It's easy to loosen the strings,
to let just anyone tear away the wrapping.
To give the gift without commitment--
or hand it out as the prize for a game.

There's a gift wrapped inside this brown paper.
It's for keeps. Non-returnable. Not to be exchanged.

It's a surprise, a happy treat
to be opened by the person to whom it's addressed,
on the date marked: 'FOREVER'."
- Ruth Senter

I found this poem in the pages of a Seventeen magazine back in 1980. Not knowing why at the time, I cut out the words and glued them to a page in my self-made scrapbook. Around the poem, I put several quotes about liking myself along with some individual pictures of myself at 13, 14 and 15. What's ironic about that is I certainly don't remember being particularly fond of myself or overly confident during those early teen years. It would be years later that I truly understood the meaning of the words in that poem yet something about it struck a chord in my heart.

At the age of thirteen my body more closely resembled that of an eighteen year old woman than an adolescent girl. Because of this I received an excessive amount of attention from boys--and I gladly welcomed it. With my newfound popularity among the males came constant pressure to be physically involved.

I had been raised in a moral home, and given snippets of advice in this category, but none that made any sense. My father was physically present but completely checked out of my life once I embarked on puberty. The only "talk" I got from my mother was something to the effect of "boys only want one thing and don't have sex before you get married." I always wanted to know "why" and would often ask my peers for advice on the subject. The problem was that most of them were already beginning to experiment with sex. I was curious yet at the same time had a very strong conscience. Deep in my soul I knew there had to be a reason to wait. I simply wanted someone—anyone—to give me that answer.

By my sophomore year of high school the majority of my girlfriends had lost their innocence. “Everyone was doing it.” That year I became involved in my first serious relationship. This was the young man of my dreams and in my heart I had made the decision that I would give in if and when he asked me. My best friend told me “when he goes away to college next year, he will never forget you if you have sex with him.” Such wise advice—not! By the grace of God, my first love was a Christian and deeply committed to waiting until marriage. He respected me and we shared a sweet, innocent love for two years and he led me to a personal relationship with God. During our courtship, I was out with a girlfriend one evening when we stumbled upon her boyfriend at the beach with another girl. As we approached them we discovered it was his former girlfriend and they were kissing. My friend’s reaction to this was enough to reinforce my decision to remain pure. As she confronted him she asked “how he could make love to her and turn around and be with another woman?” She was absolutely devastated and sobbed the entire evening. In that moment the answer to my question was staring me in the face. I thought to myself: "I never want to be in this place she is in—ever! This must be why you’re supposed to wait. She is bonded to him forever. It shouldn’t be like this.”
As it turned out, my high school sweetheart and I went our separate ways after graduation. I have such fond memories and never once have I looked back with regret on not giving him “the beautiful gift inside this package.” Although it was not an easy, or popular, path I’m happy to say I was able to give the gift to the very special person—my husband—on the date marked “Forever”.

Written by: Dana Carpenter

About The Author
Dana is married with 3 boys, but to get the whole scoop visit her website at http://www.hopehasavoice.blogspot.com