Keeping me pure

What you always wanted to know about being a virgin…

Virgin. I always thought it was just a record label, but it’s actually lots more. It is a decision, a conviction, and a lifestyle. And believe me, it can be difficult!! There has never been a more sexually aware generation than this one. Plenty of people will want to take the gift of virginity from you before you marry, but you don’t have to give in. You do have a choice, and it’s a choice you aren’t making alone.

I am 27 and a virgin. As I said, being a virgin until marriage is a lifestyle, and I have had to make some important lifestyle decisions to remain a virgin for this long. Signing a piece of paper or wear a purity ring is great, but keeping your virginity takes more than that. As with everything in life, it’s the small choices that make the big difference. So here are a few simple ways to help you with the promise you’ve made to yourself, your parents, God and your future husband.

1. Know Why You Want to be a Virgin Until You’re Married
Is it just because you are afraid of an STD or pregnancy? Is it because you’re afraid of your parents (perhaps a little fear here is okay)? Those reasons will not seem that important in the heat of the moment. Personally, I want to have sex with only one person in my life because I believe it is a very sacred and love-filled experience; I want to show myself faithful to God and my future husband - so I wait. I remain pure because of God’s desire for my life to be pure and a reflection of who He is. “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own…” (1 Corinthians 6:19).

2. Be careful little eyes….
Be mindful of the movies and shows you choose to watch, or even of the music you listen to. Not only do you want to stay away from pornography, but you want to guard your heart (your eyes and ears too) of things like lust and love showcased in scenes with nudity, sexual acts, talk of sex and the like. If you allow yourself to constantly be exposed to such images and lifestyles, you will begin to tolerate such behavior and eventually accept it. Just because Hollywood produces it - doesn’t mean you have to watch it.

3. Dress to be PURE.
It’s not bad to look or feel beautiful, just don’t flaunt it. To spell it out, NO cleavage, short-shorts or skirts, exposed bellies, and no one wants to see your g-string sticking out of your hipster jeans…just remember that girls!!!

4. Declare a No-Zone!
Here’s the deal: going past first base is a no-zone! This should be discussed with your parents as well as with your boyfriend so that boundaries are set in regards to the physical aspect of your relationship. The further you go, the harder it is to stop the progression. The no-zone should at least include everything between the neck and knees – having this set will help you focus your attention on the emotional, mental and spiritual connection in the relationship rather than physical lust. Another thought too, would you want your future husband fooling around with others girl? How would he feel about you fooling around with other guys?

5. DDD: Don’t Date Dofuses!!
When you get to know someone in a dating relationship, you will learn pretty quickly what exactly they believe in not by their words, but by their behavior. You shouldn’t settle for someone who simply tolerates your beliefs – but rather personally accepts them as well. If they don’t, BREAK UP. Why waste your time? Don’t you want to be dating someone who respects and lives by the same standards you do?

6. Make Sure People Are Around
Being alone (i.e. on a dark secluded beach where there’s no one in sight) is far too tempting for even the most zealous virgin. So if you go to the beach, be sure it’s a busy one. Only be at home when others are home too. Plan your time together so it is exciting - do coffee, go to dinner, TALK - then you won’t think about fooling around.

7. Birds of a Feather
Hang out with friends who have the same standards and morals. You’ll have positive peer pressure to remain pure. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).

Determine that sex is something you will only experience with one person in your life and when it does happen (i.e. the wedding night), it will be the best thing you’ve ever done - no regrets, no disappointments, just 100% pure love as God intended.

Written by: Sarah Carter; copyright virtuousreality.com
She is the author of “Single Christian Female” and a motivational speaker for youth.