Are you the girl in youth group who flirts at every chance she gets? Do you find yourself drooling over the new boy at school? Or even finds yourself scheming about your next crush victim or rather ‘flavor of the week’? Yes, I am talking to you. Yeah you, the girl with her hand on the mouse! Don’t even think about clicking out of this article. You’d better read it because it’s just for you!
Crushing and flirting. Admit it - not only do we know what they are, but have all entertained them once or twice (or maybe more)! While a little crush from time to time is perfectly normal, it can become hazardous to your health and well-being if it progresses. Ultimately, our heart and motive behind our thoughts need to be kept in check.
Crushes usually develop as a result of a great first impression (meaning the first time you meet someone) and an instant connection or attraction is sparked. Most of the time your palms get sweaty, your heart beats a little faster and your words somehow get caught up in your throat. But a crush has more to do with lust and infatuation and less with true love. And for most of the time, crushes often arise when the chance for a relationship is very slim.
This begs the questions, what are we so focused on anyway? In the grand scheme of life, crushes definitely don’t make the top ten. You don’t see many people on their deathbeds thinking about their crush…I know that’s extreme, but really…think about it. In your last days, are you going to think about your sixth grade crush? NO! Your thoughts will probably be about where you are about to go…the afterlife…heaven or hell???!!! My point is that the really important things in life don’t revolve around Chris, Trey, Mike, Stephen, Trevor, Kurt, Nate or even Shane.
If we, as virtuous girls, spent as much time with God as we do flirting and crushing, then we would be so in touch with the Father that our lives would overflow with His glory. I am a girl who has been through middle school and high school and has had over 52 crushes (just a guess - could be more, could be less). Believe me, once I graduated from the school of boy craziness I realized that there is so much more to life.
I know I can ramble on and on about how there is so much more to life than guys; you might even agree, even though it’s hard to. Magazines and T.V. don’t help us get over our crushes, and there’s nothing wrong with a crush here and there. But why does it have to consume our lives? Can’t we live lives devoted to thinking about God?
So who has your attention? Your crush or your Savior?
“Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” [Philippians 4:8]
Comments (18)
That's true. I don't have any problems with flirting, but that's a good article for those who do. The facts stated in this article are also part of the reason I have chosen not to date.
Posted by Arielle | January 14, 2008 7:17 PM
that gurl u are talking about in the article was exzctly who I was. Then i realized that God is so much more important than some guy i like. I feel free now, and i check my heart to make sure if i like a guy i don't get too consumed like I used to.
Posted by april | January 15, 2008 7:37 AM
that's a good word!! especially the part about spending more time with our Father than crushing on hotties. Jesus isn't just here one day and gone the next like crushes...he's always with us, never changing. I love when i have my quiet times and i just fall more in love with my heavenly father every day.
Posted by elizabeth | January 16, 2008 6:20 PM
i havent had 1 boy freind and my freinds are all around me talking about who is going to take who to the dance or watev. im jelly but now i understand!
Posted by banana | January 17, 2008 4:21 PM
I agree 100%!!! Crushes may be fun sometimes but they're definitely not the coolest things. Besides I've managed fine without going out with somebody and I definitely don't see the point when you're in school. It's like you get them and then what? You just end up dumping them or getting dumped.
Posted by janet | January 18, 2008 11:04 PM
this is sooooo true! I realize(a lot of times)that i focus on the cute guy who sits in front of me in math class more than i focus on God. This really opens my eyes on how i should think on my #1 guy(Jesus) more than da guy in front of me in class!!:)
Posted by kierria | February 2, 2008 4:11 PM
All this says is SO true about girls today....do we really think about the Lord more then we do our crushes in school?.....I've never really had problems with being overly flirty, but i know SO many girls that do. Having a older brother has helped me out a lot with being able to interact with guys, but not having a crush on them. I look at a lot of guys as just a friend. This is why i have chosen not to date...because think about it...when you have a crush, its like the whole world revolves around that guy until you get over him. In the past when i have had a crush, when he would walk into the room, it was like time stood still and nothing else mattered to me.....maybe i just fall hard for guys or something, but thats how it used to be for me. Well anyways....for girls out there who don't date...your not alone. its hard to live in a world where dating is SO normal. Whats so normal about getting your heart broken all the time? Cause its going to happen until you get married. Well God bless, Love and Joy-Victoria
Posted by Victoria | February 27, 2008 1:53 PM
hey!!!
that girl in the article was definelty me last year! i've really worked on not flirting this year and its working!!
Posted by a | April 8, 2008 3:47 PM
Ya there is deffinately a point there. There can be a huge emotional attatchment in crushes and that can hurt when it is over bad. It becomes an obsession and keeps your focus away from where it is supposed to be. Guys want a dedicated girl to start seriously seeing, not someone they are worried are going to flirt behind their back. Besides when you do meet Mr. Right you dont want have to work at breaking a habit like that, plus every guy wants to think that he was the only one you were ever serious about.
Posted by Sarah | October 9, 2008 9:43 AM
great message. helps a lot :)
Posted by Amee | November 12, 2008 2:23 AM
I think that is soooo true if we would think about God like we think on our "crush" or all those things we would have such a good relationship with God so now I'm trying very hard to get God as my #1!
Posted by marie | November 15, 2008 8:35 PM
i used to flirt ALL the time with EVERY guy i set my eyes on. I thought that if guys thought i was fun to talk to, then i was, and i based my self worth on how many guys talked to me. then i read some verses in the bible that really made it clear to me that God was all that mattered in my life, and he is all I need to feel worthy and special... thank you!
Posted by caroline | January 8, 2009 9:35 PM
this is so true, i sometimes catch myself really likin gmy crush and then i have to stop and think. where's my attention going to him or Him? it really helps to see it out in words though, thank you! i am a child of God with a beauty within!
Posted by Sara | July 17, 2009 4:04 PM
Yeah, I "fall" for guys reallly easty. I get crushes all the time, but I 'm not a flirt or a slut. So when the guy that is flirting with me switches from me the "goog-girl" who wont offer hardly anything physical (an occasional kiss) to the "bad-girl" (lets make-out after church) I have to remember that God is all that matters. Coause a guy like that has to work for my attention and the other girl just chases him. Oh it hurts but you have to trust god and believe The One is out there
Posted by Lilly | July 30, 2009 4:41 PM
I actually came searching for this!! And i seriously laughed out loud cuz my hand WAS on the mouse. LOL. but on the real, this article really helped me get my mind on Christ and understand why i need to be spending more time with Him instead of thinking about the cute dude at coldstone. Jesus deserves all my chrushin cuz He'll always be there... Im more of the shy type so i dont flirt (i barely talk!!) but i really needed a heart check on this one!!
Posted by LANDRA! | September 2, 2009 6:16 PM
This was a super good article; like all your other ones as well. :) I don't have a problem with flirting and I think it's mainly because I'm homeschooled and I wasn't around alot of guys until highschool and I just didn't know how to react around them- in other words- I'm super shy around them. But, this is a good article if I ever get too involved with flirting.
Posted by dancer4Christ | September 18, 2009 5:08 PM
WOW....im so amazed...there are so many girls who are willing to not date..and i thought i was all alone... i still have crushes...but im trying big time to stop dreaming about them..but at the same time i wonder if there are any good christian guys out there who aren't gonna date...its a hige disappointment for me to see none around
Posted by sue | October 3, 2009 12:05 PM
Ok ok i agmit i hav had crushes and im in one rite now! but i nvr go head ovr heels! ive nvr had the hole bf-gf thing but a lot of my friends do and wen they say they r "in luv" im alwase like "if ur in luv wth this boi r u goin to marry him some day?!" they r alwase lik "no" and im lik "i thought so lol!!" so girls who dont date join the club! we can call it GWDD (girls who dont date!)
Posted by Carmen | February 12, 2010 9:42 AM