My boys are obsessed with fishing in a pond set back in a wooded area behind our house. Because this pond can only be accessed by a few homes in our neighborhood it is well stocked with fish of every kind. My boys never tire of hiking back there with their nets, poles, and tackle boxes. They shimmy carefully out onto a homemade make-shift dock perched atop a leaning tree and casting their lines into the water. Their quest: Catching one of the big-mouth bass who will occasionally swim teasingly near the surface of the water. Trust me, these fish are not big by accident. These guys have had the run of the pond for years—that is, until my boys came along. Fortunately, my boys are only interested in the challenge of catching them and once they do, they pull out the hook and throw them right back in for a second chance. (That’s your cue to say “Ahhhhhhh, poor little fishies.) Both my boys insist that snagging these big 10-12 lb. bass come down to the bait. They rely on fancy spinner lures that attract the curious fish with shimmering pieces of metal and rubber tentacles that dangle from a hook.
So, what in the world does fishing have to do with they way girls dress? Given the scanty fashions of the day, many girls are unaware that the clothes they wear can act as bait—the kind that attracts boys. You’ve probably noticed by now that girls and guys are wired differently. When it comes to attraction, girls tend to be more emotionally wired while guys tend to be more visually wired. An article appeared in my local paper called "What girls wear, and what boys think" that proves this point. A sampling of boys we're interviewed at the local mall and asked what they thought of some of the girls who walked by wearing hip hugger jeans with bare midriffs and scanty tops. One boy suggested that girls dress that way because they want attention. Another boy said it is an 'invitation.' He said, "They're telling you, 'Come get it.' When girls dress like that, it tells guys they're easy."
The truth hurts. For many girls, their sincere motive in wearing skin-baring fashions is to be fashionable. Unfortunately, there is no denying that guys read much more into it than a sincere fashion statement. Just like the lures my sons use to attract the fish they catch, your clothes may be sending out an invitation to the guys that you never intended to send. Some girls are fully aware of the power they can have over the opposite sex when it comes to cultivating their sensualities with just the right outfit, whether it’s a cleavage-baring top, short shorts, a bare midriff, or tight-fitting clothes. For them, negative attention is better than no attention at all. Regardless of whether or not a girl’s motives are to be fashionable or to be sensual, the results are the same. Like the bass drawn to just the right bait, guys will be drawn to you…but for all the wrong reasons. When the fish see bait, they see a free meal—and they get it to go. Do you want to send that kind of message to the guys?
The Bible actually addresses how women should dress. In 1 Timothy 2:9 it says, “I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety.” The actual word for “propriety” is a Greek word, “sophrosune,” which means “sanity or soundness of mind.” Let me translate the verse for you: Does that outfit indicate that you’ve LOST YOUR MIND?! I am shocked at how many Christian girls who should know better show up at church (or anywhere else, for that matter) dressed inappropriately. I recall a Sunday morning service where one of the girls in the youth group took part in a skit. She was wearing a skirt that was small enough to fit my 5 lb. Yorkie. Clearly, she hadn’t thought this through and when she went to sit down during the skit, her skirt was eye-level of the audience and she ended up flashing everyone in the congregation, including Pastor on the front row! Now c’mon. There’s nothing cool about that!
Here’s the bottom line when it comes to modesty: You want what you wear on the outside to allow others to focus on God rather than you. I am certainly not saying you have to dress like a nun. It is possible to dress both fashionably and modestly but it will take some effort and extra time spent looking for clothes that would pass the test. Take God shopping with you next time and when you look in the mirror, ask Him what He thinks. His opinion is the only one that matters. Remember, if you are a Christian, your body is the temple of His Holy Spirit so He has a vested interest in how you choose to adorn His temple. You also want to be certain that what you wear reflects who you are on the inside. That way, when a guy is drawn to you, it will be for the right reasons.
Dressing modestly not only demands respect from the guys but it is a sign of self-respect. It makes the statement that you feel good enough about yourself without having to dress in such a way that would “lure” the wrong kind of attention. Get in the habit of doing a mirror check before you head out and ask yourself, “Is this outfit screaming ‘lure’ or ‘pure’?”
Written by: Vicki Courtney, founder of Virtuous Reality Ministries and best-selling author of "Your Girl," "Your Boy," and the entire "TeenVirtue" and "Between" series.
Article taken from TeenVirtue: Real Issues, Real Life…A Teen Girl’s Survival Guide. Used with permission from Broadman and Holman Publishing.