The “popular” group. Every school has one. Often, it’s made up of a group of girls and guys that are considered the best looking or who come from the most money. Maybe at your school it’s made up of the cheerleaders and lacrosse players, or the kids that come from a certain neighborhood. The girls of the group are usually inseparable, and form an A-list clique.
Of course, it’s natural for us to be friends with other girls who share our interests, but sometimes, something happens with a group of girls that makes them clique-y. If you’ve ever seen the movie “Mean Girls”, you know what I’m talking about...the elite group of girls who seem to run the school. Their opinions and judgments decide who’s cool and who’s not, what to wear and what not to. If you’re part of the group, you don’t want to break the rules… if you did, you’d plummet into a social nightmare. If you’re on the outside of the group… if you’re just a “regular” girl, you may secretly wish you were one of the “popular” girls. You may have wondered what it would take to be friends with the girls. But what if we ask ourselves, “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Gal. 1:10)
When I was in junior high, I played the flute and piano, and loved every minute of band. Then, as a sophomore, I moved up to high school. All of a sudden, it was not so cool to be in the band. If you were, you were considered a “band geek.” So, what did I do? I dropped band mid-year. In hindsight, not my best decision. But at the time, I was convinced that anything else would have sealed my fate socially. Why? Because someone decided it wasn’t cool to play an instrument. So, to fit the mold, I quit…leaving behind something that was such an important part of my life.
What do you sacrifice to fit it? Did you play sports, but now that’s not “girly”? Do you like a particular guy, but he’s not “cool” enough, so he’ll never know? Do you know you want to stay away from drugs and alcohol, but find yourself pressured at parties where they are available?
When it comes right down to it, we need to decide, who are we trying to please? It is so tempting to try and please our friends. To try and please the “popular” girls. To try and
please our boyfriend. So often we feel like our true happiness is based upon where we stand onthe popularity scale. To paraphrase Paul, “Are you trying to win the approval of the popular group or God”? Girls, he lays it on the line for us. “…If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
The way we live, the way we stick to our passions or drop them to conform, the way we treat people regardless of their popularity, the way we hold fast to our beliefs… that’s the real stuff of life, whether we are 15 or 35 or 55. The whole popularity thing… the way you react to the pressures of those around you, is either going to drive you closer to, or further away from God. Decide whose approval you’re after. Then, live it out each day. Your reward as a servant of Christ will be matchless!
Written by: Jen Brennan
copyright, www.virtuousreality.com
Comments (12)
I also have a "Clique" at my school and im not in it. i decided taht it wasnt for me it wasnt what i wanted to do with my life so instead of having a whole bunch of friends i have 1 or 2 but they are always there for me and will always be. i sometimes get tempted to impress them, and sometimes i even do. but i get over it and stick with what God has planned for me.
Posted by Mandy | September 15, 2007 9:21 PM
Life can be so hard! Trying to live to be a part of the "cool" group or act a certain way to fit in, will make you miserable. I am not a teenager anymore, and I it has taken me years to realize that trying to please others was not the way to live. I have just recently started living to please God first, and it has changed my life. I am happier than I have even been. I love the part of the article when the author talks about quiting her passion just to be "cooler". I bet she wishes she could play the guitar or other instrument now! Please hold fast to who you were made to be. You were made to be a special and unique child of God. Whether that means taking dance lessons, being in the band, being a "church nerd" (which is a good thing, by the way), playing the flute, making your own clothes, etc..... If you are a follower of Christ, you are in the coolest group EVER! And the reward that awaits you is ETERNITY! How awesome is that?!? Don't live to please a certain group or the latest fad, take it from me - true happiness awaits you when you live to please God. Hang in there, girls!
Posted by Bec | September 18, 2007 7:49 PM
I'm really smart but I don't want to do the math team because everyone makes fun of the people on it. The team coach and my teacher keep asking me to do it, and my parents really want me to do it for college applications, but they don't know how much I would be made fun of. This story is really making me rethink my decision. I really want to do it, but I'm scared to become really unpopular. I'm going to read this story again and read the verse about trying to make other peopple happy. I hadn't thought about God having something to do with not caring about popularity, so I will start praying more about this to get up the courage to not care what people say if I join the team. Thank you.
Posted by amy | September 20, 2007 9:52 PM
i am a freshman in high school and the first semester i was in the 'popular' group. there was WAY too much drama and it is so much more fun to just be yourself! i love being able to be friends with everyone, but there are certain groups that i like better because they actually care about you! when you are popular, you always have to stick to a standard of being 'hott' and maybe not caring as you should about school work---we only have four years until college-thats pretty scarry when you think about it because what you do can affect your future in a BIG way!!!! i have goals for going to college in a very tough admitance place and if i get stuck in going to the 'popular' parties, i can mess up everything!
its cool being yourself! you get true friends who you actually enjoy being around! also, some girls think that guys will only like them if they are popular-that is soooo not true! you get the guys who actually like you and want to know you for you! i have one right now :D!!!! all that you need is one guy and why not get a guy that likes you for you, not your popularity?!?!?!?!?!?!!
Posted by kristina | February 2, 2008 8:05 PM
hi you girls that are reading this,
i know what its like not being in the popular crowd. My whole middle school year i was with the girlz people called "losers" but they weren't losers at all, they were really cool. No one else could see that but us "the losers". Then my last year of middle school the popular girls actually started to notice me and actually asked me to hang out with them at the mall. Well,I accepted their offer and discovered something i'll never forget, the popular girls that we think are popular are really lonely and unhappy. It's better to have true friends who accept you for who you are then to have friends who talk about you when your not there. I always envied those girls that were popular,I wanted to be just like them, but it wasn't until my eigth grade year that i really saw that being "miss christian goodie too shoes" was being popular in my heavenly fathers eyes.
On the day of graduation those girls that i had envied came up to me and thanked me for being an example to them and told me thank you for not giving in to the popularity pressure that was there.I actually won an memorial award for christian character. I was shocked but at the same time pleased that they saw Jesus in me. So dont give up take a stand for whats right, don't be part of that "in" crowd if you see that they only hang together 'cuz they like each others clothes. I am thankful to God for letting me expirience their meanness so i could tell others about being true to themselves and God.I hope this encourages you!!!!!!!!
Posted by serena | April 18, 2008 8:34 PM
I'm lucky enough to be in a school that doesn't really have cliques (:
Actually, in Malaysia, we don't really have things like cliques. Everybody is everyones friend.
Go Malaysia! haha.
Posted by bananax | November 14, 2008 6:58 AM
My skool sorta has cliques but sorta doesn't. Like at the luch tables there are sorta 2 tables which don't really socailize w/ each other at all. But I think my skool is getting closer to breaking the ice, eventually...
Posted by Lexi | March 31, 2009 8:09 PM
lol my skool is full of cliques!!!!
i used to be a part of the goth group. it was really cliquey. everyone wore tripp pants and black makeup and we would meet by this wall in the commons affectionately called "the corner" and if soemone offended someone else, they would be cast out cause it would cause arguments. and every year, a new leader would come cause the leader would be a senior and he/she would leave.
i actually looked forward to the day where i would be the leader, but now i live for God and i know thats not where he wants me to be.
im so glad im out of THAT circus!!
Posted by mellie | July 28, 2009 7:57 PM
HaHa, yeah, in my school there is kinda a "clic" but I and my friends are sometimes in and sometimes out ... if we see eachother in the hall we hi and wave but me and my closer friends are never really invited to parties but rly thats ok with me as long as we all get along and the drama stays at a minimal mine and everyones elses school year is totally kool
Posted by Josie | September 3, 2009 7:20 PM
I dont even care about the "popular ones" When u graduate High skol its all over it wont even matter! At ur high skol reunion u would want to b sitting all by urself beacause evry1 rememberd u as the "Mean girl." If u dont want to b made fun of jus ignore it! I did that and it worked lik a charm!
Hang in there!!
GOD ROCKS!!
Posted by Carmen | February 24, 2010 11:06 AM
this is every where even at youth group
I dont try to hang around them and they
walk around thinking they are so cool and saying how much of a christ they are.But they are people pleasers and not God pleasers. I am not saying that I am better then them but i pray for them. The best thing to do is pray for them.
Posted by gab | September 23, 2010 7:51 AM
im not in the group at school. me and my friends started to be friends with them and now i dont have much friends.so im just praying to find some good friends and praying for my old ones
Posted by samantha | October 18, 2010 3:19 AM