My Parents are Way Too Strict!

When my oldest child began his freshman year in high school, I attended a parent orientation held by the school counselor. She had all the parents break up into small groups and asked us to answer the following question: “If there was one thing you wish your parents had done differently in your high school years, what would it be?”

Amazingly, seven of the eight parents in my group answered something along the lines of “I wish parents had been more aware of what was going on in my life and had drawn more boundaries.” I was one of them, and the general consensus was that it could have spared us some harsh consequences of having to learn some life lessons the hard way.

While there is no way your parents can protect you fully from making poor choices, they should be aware of the dangers of the culture and set up some boundaries. Parents who are not engaged in their children’s lives, by default, are allowing the culture to rear their children.

Now, I realize that most teens would prefer to have no set curfew, no one looking over their shoulder when they are IMing, no one asking questions like, ‘What did you do at the party,’ no one insisting on calling your friends’ parents before the party to make sure they will be there, no one objecting to certain movies containing inappropriate material, and no one grilling them over homework assignments. Does that sound like a dream come true to you?

As a parent who cares about the well-being of my children enough to harass them about all of the above, let me assure you that it takes time to care. It would be much easier to just mentally check out and let the culture parent my kids. But it’s not the right thing to do. I view my job as parent as a very serious calling and I bet most of your parents do too. God has entrusted my husband and me with children who belong first and foremost to him. We have about eighteen years on average with each child to train them as best we can to live in the world without becoming of the world. This is no easy task, especially given the times. When teaching a child to swim, most parents don’t throw him or her in the deep end and scream, “Sink or swim, it’s your choice! Good luck!” Most parents will train their children step-by-step until they are ready to go it in the pool alone. It is the same thing with life training. God expects parents to efficiently use the eighteen years they have been given to adequately train their children before they strike out on their own.

So while you may think the kids who parents have checked out are the lucky ones, remember, they will be the ones twenty-plus years from now wishing they had had your setup. My husband and I realize that we may not hear a “Thanks, Mom and Dad!” from our children during their teen years, but one thing is for certain: When they attend their own child’s freshman parent orientation, they won’t be among the majority wishing their parents had been more attentive. Maybe then they’ll call and say, “Thanks.”

Written by: Vicki Courtney, founder of Virtuous Reality Ministries and best-selling author of "Your Girl," "Your Boy," and the entire "TeenVirtue" and "Between" series.

Article taken from TeenVirtue: Real Issues, Real Life…A Teen Girl’s Survival Guide. Used with permission from Broadman and Holman Publishing.